lolbuckeyes

1 hour and 17 minutes

[Eric Upchurch]

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1. Offense

starts at 1:00

Higdon is better than Weber. That unstoppable offset draw. Braden at left tackle. Speight puts himself back on the Rudock trajectory. A wild Wheatley touchdown appears.

2. Defense

starts at 22:15

Eh, it was the usual. Hurst bellyrub and the likeability factor, Glasgow running a quarterback out of bounds for no gain. Nitpicks: Metellus suspectedon the Turner catch over Gedeon, Winovich blamed for that one long run, and random chance finally answering a prayer blamed for the TD.

3. Fifteen minutes of giggling over Ohio State

starts at 36:44

This was an upset, but lol: Ohio State has a loss—kick six part of an uncharacteristic special teams meltdown. Barrett shut down as a runner.

4. Talking Big Ten With Jamie Mac

starts at 52:38

Perry Hills: no picks! Funniest part of MSU-Maryland? Eastern Michigan is ahead of Michigan State in S&P+ rankings. Iowa could backdoor cover that 7-win threshold this year with a bowl win. Wisconsin appears to be legit; Nebraska hasn’t really paid anyone. Clayton Thorson: unstoppable throw god 2.0; Austin Carr could have something to do with that. Lagow took the chaos out of chaosteam; their right tackle is a problem spot. Rutgers-Minnesota was an even game. Commissioning Rivalry Trophy for Rutgers-MSU.

MUSIC:

• “I Want to Go Back to Michigan”—UM Marching Band
• “I Want to Go Back to Michigan”—Judy Garland
• “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”
• “Across 110th Street”

THE USUAL LINKS

• Helpful iTunes subscribe link
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• Direct download link
• What's with the theme music?

McCafftermath

That's a good sportmanteau right there. A high quality word-construct. /self high five

Anyway, a touted QB is always a nice piece to get in your recruiting class because people sit up and take notice. People like MI WR Donovan Peoples-Jones and MI DE Corey Malone-Hatcher.

@dpeoplesjones that's what I'm saying

— corey malone-hatcher (@CMH2017) February 16, 2016

Hyphenated people. Also people who sound like EDM superstars.

GA ATH Deejay Dallas on #Michigan landing Dylan McCaffrey: "Been interested, but my boy Dylan just made it better." pic.twitter.com/iVI6ngtd5i

— Brice Marich (@BriceMarich) February 16, 2016

CT WR Tarik Black also told Steve Lorenz that McCaffrey's commit has an impact on him; Lorenz is skeptical that is a thing and not just a thing to say for most of these WRs.

Still, Michigan can sell Peoples-Jones and others on the fact that he's going to have a highly capable quarterback for the duration of his tenure. Harbaugh's track record and the kind of recruits they're bringing in should combine to make for an attractive proposition.

Top list for top target Bandy

FL CB Trajan Bandy released a highly specific top ten:

pic.twitter.com/DkUaBRFV5b

— Trajan Bandy (@BandyTrajan) February 18, 2016

Good spot to draft from, third. Lorenz relates that Michigan is more likely to move up that list than down it since he's one of the top CBs on their board along with Flangan's Stanford Samuels III.

Simmons returns to campus because it is across the street

I had a great visit to Michigan today!〽️ pic.twitter.com/kHSrFHCRv0

— antjuan simmons (@_antjuan_) February 17, 2016

Business has picked up with MI LB Antjuan Simmons since Don Brown was hired. Simmons has been on campus twice in the past month. That means a bit less than it might for players who have to get in some sort of vehicle to do so; it is still encouraging. Brown has a great affection for smallish, fast, and vicious linebackers—Simmons promises to be that guy.

This is Still my favorite play through high school so far pic.twitter.com/O6Q50ERsyy

— antjuan simmons (@_antjuan_) November 22, 2015

Yes. Yes he does. Michigan is recruiting him as a SAM, which should give you some insight into the kind of guy that will be at that spot going forward—think Stevie Brown, not Jake Ryan. He told Allen Trieu he got a "great vibe" at M. Interestingly enough, he mentioned the SAM thing with Brandon Brown and then followed it up with an odd name:

"He sees me at SAM linebacker. He wants me to play like Jabrill Peppers."

I guess nickelback == SAM linebacker under Brown? We'll see.

BONUS: ultimate croot tweeter right here

@_antjuan_ Don't go to Michigan, u can't even drink the water Bro, and the coach might ask u to stay the night, Creepy. Lol, best of luck

— Brandon Scott (@KashScott) February 18, 2016

This is exactly who I envision tweeting croots.

I never thought that dude from Smashmouth would stoop so low, though.

Surging for Eno Benjamin

Beyond Blessed to say I've received an offer from the University of Michigan#GoBlue〽️ #Wolverines pic.twitter.com/M1Pqg0gc9e

— Eno Benjamin™ (@eno_benjamin5) February 16, 2016

Michigan offered TX RB Eno Benjamin, and that's significant enough to pull out of the bulleted list and discuss specifically because Benjamin is highly likely to be a major target. Benjamin's trainer is one David Underwood, another Texas running back who made the trek to Ann Arbor. Benjamin has a small top list that Michigan joins; he has an unusual leader for a top-100 type kid out of Texas:

“Michigan is working their way up to the top,” Benjamin said.  “They’re up there. Iowa is still #1 right now.  I’ve kind of been feeling Arizona State quite a bit as well as Texas Tech.”

He has a visit planned for early March. Lorenz thinks Michigan might already lead for Benjamin and that he's been after a Michigan offer for going on two years now, so that visit will be one to watch for a shift in his public leaderboard, or maybe even a commit.

As for what kind of back Benjamin is, Scout recently updated their brief scouting report:

Benjamin is a highly instinctive, high-volume running back who possesses big-play ability as well as workhorse production. Possesses exceptional feet w/outstanding balance and lateral ability. Dangerous start-and-stop runner who maximizes yardage at second level w/cutback ability. Good at avoiding direct blows. Lacks ideal size but gains ample yardage after contact. Not a top-end burner, but plenty fast w/good initial acceleration.

Sounds a bit like Fitzgerald Toussaint before he was Poor Damn Toussaint.

New offers & quick hits

Your regular list of guys sporting new offers who may or may not become major targets:

• Michigan offered 2018 CA QB Cameron Rising. I normally ignore kids who haven't played their junior year yet, but QB is an exception since those recruitments often end very early. Rising called the offer "surreal" and says he is "extremely interested"; he has a solid grasp on how handled guys as different as Kapernick and Rudock. Rising is a pro-style guy with rushing upside—he ran for 750 yards as a sophomore—and looks likely to be a major target in 2018.
• Scout reports an offer for KY OL Jedrick Wills, a "mauler" who will be tough to pull from the South. Scout has him #53 in 2017.
• 247 reports an offer to CA OL Alijah Vera-Tucker, who's around 200th on the composite.
• Rivals reports that CA DE Deonte Johnson got an offer.
• Rivals also reports that CA OL Popo Aumavae got offered. Oregon is the favorite. WI OL Logan Bruss also got an offer; as per usual Wisconsin will be tough to beat for an instate lineman.
• Apparently Michigan offered IN OL Emil Ekiyor a year ago. He "really loves" what's going on at M and has a tentative top five of M, Tennessee, Oklahoma, Georgia, and ND.

Small developments amongst guys who are already on the board:

• MI OL Phil Paea lists M, Oregon, and BYU as the schools he's "hearing from" the most. Those are often proxies for top X lists from recruits who are hesitant about putting a list out there. He just picked up a Minnesota offer; he tells the Minnesota Rivals site that Michigan was his favorite team in-state but his "dream offer" came from the Ducks.
• NJ LB Drew Singleton looks like another M-Clemson battle.

Etc.: McCaffrey is undecided on whether he will enroll early.

If you're invested in ice dancing outcomes, stop. A couple other bullets to space it out.  We have heaping helpings of OH-LOL to do that.

Detroit doesn't even have an NFL team. I mean, this is just an appalling lack of knowledge about geography, professional sports, and the Ford family.

Ohio State versus something called Middlebury versus Ball State, and the questions are apparently Celebrity Jeopardy level. That's a slap in the face to Ball State.

Final Jeopardy: HOW MANY FEET DO YOU HAVE? JUST LOOK DOWN. COUNT 'EM. IT'S NOT HARD.

Answers:

• What is feet
• How are seven
• -IO

Ain't come here to play spell. On the one hand, I'm actually glad that Marcus Hall can leverage his double-bird flip into cold hard cash. I felt strongly positive about that activity. On the other, they're using the split M logo and can't spell:

Spelling gaffe on Marcus Hall's double-bird poster is a true win. "We ain't come here to play school." pic.twitter.com/WTCl5W0nUl HT @BenAxelrod

— Stephen J. Nesbitt (@stephenjnesbitt) February 17, 2014

I mean, if you're going to make bootleg plaques get 'em right. This isn't 'Nam. Hm.

Actually, bootleg plaque-making might be 'Nam. Carry on.

Go Blue gold. Ice dancing couple Charlie White and Meryl Davis are Olympic gold medalists:

Meryl & Charlie's journey to gold: 78.89 short dance, 116.63 free dance, 195.52 total. All world records for the Michigan students in Sochi.

— Stephen J. Nesbitt (@stephenjnesbitt) February 17, 2014

Congratulations, and may the apparently infinite stream of Michigan ice dancing supremacy continue with the Shibutani siblings.

Now. If I had a late night talk show, I would have White and Davis on and ask them if they could put something together for, oh, I don't know, C&C Music Factory. Some variety of 90s hip hop. Just to see them kill that, too.

My other fantastic idea: Jamaican Ice Dance Team. Imagine the possibility. Shabba. Does anyone need a fantastic idea consultant? Because there's my CV. Boom.

It was all a Saban/Bielema plot. Man, the whole ten-seconds thing did not go over well.

Is this real?" one coach texted shortly after the news broke. "I thought it was a joke. No way that passes."

It's not a joke. But it would compel officials to call delay of game on a team for moving too fast.

"It's crazy," said Texas Tech coach Kliff Kingsbury. "College football is the pinnacle of success right now. How do you even mess with that? It would slow the game down. It wouldn't be as fun for the fans."

"The 10-second rule is like asking basketball to take away the shot clock - Boring!" Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy tweeted Thursday. "It's like asking a blitzing linebacker to raise his hand."

Your cynicism level should ramp up even further once you are informed that this is supposed to be a "no change" year and that you can only propose something if it affects player safety.

The proposal is being billed solely as an issue of player safety, and in fact, because this is a "non-rule change" year for the committee, the only way it can put something forward is if it's a tweak to an existing rule (like targeting) or if there's an athlete safety concern.

It's nice to see actual coaches calling out the Think Of The Children reasoning here. Given the blowback, the chances of this thing passing are approximately zero, you'd think.

Oh, please. As part of their institutional mission to try too hard, OSU played some juvenile crap on their scoreboard before their recent ten-point home defeat. As described:

As expected, the video featured Ohio State guard Evan Turner’s 37-foot game-winning 3-pointer at the buzzer of the 2010 Big Ten quarterfinals. It was included among other great Buckeye moments in a rivalry dating back to 1909.

But then there were some added clips, unrelated to Ohio State. One featured Ohio's 65-60 upset of Michigan in the second round of the 2012 NCAA tournament. That's the Ohio Bobcats, not the Ohio State Buckeyes. Another segment highlighted Chris Webber's infamous timeout call in the waning moments of the 1993 national championship game. …

The video wrapped up with an unflattering picture of a Michigan fan, followed by the words, "Pure Michigan," a nod to the state's tourism slogan.

Beilein was asked about it, said he hadn't seen it, and then said

"I hope Michigan never does that," Beilein said. "I don’t want to ever do things like that."

We've blown some of the high ground there with the chicken dance and the skywriting, but there are still many more levels between pure sin-free Domerdom and trying to dredge up painful moments totally unrelated to you 20 years on and making fun of some innocent dude's appearance. (Especially because glass houses, man. Glass houses.) 

But this pissed some OSU fans off because someone from Michigan adding columns in a spreadsheet pisses them off. So when Bacari Alexander tweeted a generic "we are going to beat you" thing, perpetually aggrieved DJ Byrnes at 11W tried to make a big to do about it. If you can't tell the difference between institutionally-authorized "this guy looks dumb lol" and that, you probably think Detroit is in Wisconsin. I look forward to the next time an OSU crowd sings about not giving a damn about the whole state of Michigan unironically.

Whatever, I guess. A ten million dollar gift has induced Michigan to name their head coaching position after the donors. I continually fail to understand why rich people want their name on stuff. If I was rich I would want, like, Zack Novak's name on stuff. Tom Brady. Denard. Dennis Norfleet. What's so great about you, guy? What did you do that was at all relevant?

If I was AD I'd try to crowdfund these things so I could name things after guys who gave the program something.

Etc.: Urban Meyer apparently got in a recruiting battle with South Carolina. Michigan brought in a monster soccer recruiting class. One of the guys is an Ann Arbor native who was on the U17 team and is bigger than Mark Zuckerberg. Burke/Sullinger BFFs again. Bilas interviewed on payin' guys. Saban attempting to adjust to the new world order of spread offenses. See also: wrong side of history.

Don't expect Mitch back.

The most Buckeye. What is the most Ohio State thing? Is it chasing off a touted linebacker recruit with your tilty-head child porn whatnots?

That's pretty Buckeye. Is it getting caught pleasuring yourself in the library by Carl Monday? Is it punching an opposing player because you're mad?

I think the kid who named his tumor "Michigan" is the most Ohio State thing.

Grant Reed is only 12, but the young Ohio State fan has scored a major victory over “Michigan.”

It’s what he named his brain tumor.

According to a report by NBC affiliate WCMH, Reed was recently released from Nationwide Children’s hospital in Columbus, Ohio, after completing chemotherapy in a two-year fight with the brain tumor. Doctors give him a good prognosis.

Congratulations, kid. You are both alive and the most Buckeye, at least until a guy wearing an Andy Katzenmoyer jersey poops on Desmond Howard live on Gameday, then punches out Herbstreit for being a "fake Buckeye."

MOST BUCKEYE RANKINGS

1. Naming brain tumor "Michigan"
2. "Everybody kills"
3. Committing insurance fraud with the vehicle some booster provided you
4. Tilty-head child-porn selfie fetish that chases away Alex Anzalone
5. Library jackin'
6. Dymonte Thomas is totally gonna flip you guys

McGary smash. GRIII and Mitch McGary are at the LeBron Skills academy with about a zillion other dudes both in college and high school, and it sounds like McGary is following up his breakout tournament with consistent, varied production. Sam Webb($):

Mitch McGary – “The Monster” looks like a million bucks – figuratively and literally.  The sophomore power forward checked in at a toned 6-10.5, 266-lbs. with an 83.5-inch wingspan.  His activity level stayed consistently high at times he seemed to catch his opponents off guard with better than expected lateral agility bounce.  …  While his overall activity level on both ends continued to stand out, his 11-point barrage over a couple of minutes was the true highlight.  The run started off with a pick& roll clinic.  On three occasions McGary lost Wilson after setting a solid screen and diving to the basket for a bucket.  When Wilson finally decided to stay with him, McGary stuck a three.  A couple of possessions later he caught the ball on the right elbow, pivoted to face the rim, then calmly stuck a jumper over Wilson’s outstretched arm.

I be like dang.

BONUS IS MITCH MCGARY STILL MITCH MCGARY CHECK

The only bad mark on McGary’s report card came when he attempted a heat check three toward the end of the game. The big fella dribbled into a jumper a full step beyond the three-point line.  It was an air-ball, but after everything else he did in the game, you’ll give him that one.

Yup. Ride the lion, buddy.

For his part, GRIII wasn't standing out like McGary. Low usage from the guy in a camp setting is no surprise since he's so deferential; hopefully in a more regimented team setting he can step up.

The least committed. Rivals article on ever-accelerating pace of non-binding verbal commitments "raises issues," but is mostly notable for the best redefinition of commitment ever. Shea Patterson is a 2016 dual threat QB who just moved to Louisiana, and he is in some sort of relationship with Arizona:

"Right now I am committed to Arizona, and if I don't hear anything from any other school for the next three years I will be happy to go to Arizona, but since we moved things have been different," he said.

Shea Patterson's commitment status is "it's complicated." Tulane, get that letter in the mail and he's yours.

FWIW, decommitments are not actually a problem worth solving. Delaying Signing Day until after coach firing season prevents a lot of guys from being locked into LOIs they don't want to honor, and gives everyone time to find the best place for them to be. Moving up those timelines does nothing but create worse matches between players and programs.

If you do want to help this non-problem be less of an issue to raise, two things: allow earlier official visits, so that more kids can get the lay of the land earlier, and create a non-binding pre-LOI that prevents other coaches from contacting anyone who signs up for it but can be withdrawn at any time by the player.

The dynamic pricing thing. A long time coming and I don't really have an issue with it since it allows Michigan to recoup some money that was otherwise being left on the table without increasing season ticket or student prices. I mean:

“They (the consumers) are going to pay more anyways,” Lawrence said. “It’s just a question of who’s making the money? Is it the school or is it the broker?”

As far as ways to increase revenue go, this one is much better than annoying me with max volume exhortations to rent Michigan Stadium for a wedding. Also, it increases the feasibility of interesting nonconference home and homes because the more attractive the opponent the more ticket revenue acquired.

This, on the other hand…

On Monday, Purdue University announced that it too would use dynamic pricing for football season.

…will result in Purdue tickets being exchanged for pogs.

Etc.: Devin Funchess is on the Mackey watch list. Also on the Mackey watch list: you. I only talk about coaches who coach for Michigan but Rich Rodriguez in a nutshell: "Well, I hear a lot of times people say 'Oh, we gotta have a guy that's a game manager,' and I don't know what that is."

NCAA promises not to send its goons after a current player who joins the O'Bannon lawsuit, because its goons all left to work at Auburn anyway. Both of these teams should be named "Northwestern." Michigan picks up a 2015 forward commit, seems like a second or third liner. Excellent take on the O'Bannon case. Hanging with Trey Burke at the draft. Say bye to Nebraska.

The new logos are here! The new logos are maize! The new logo's maize will have nothing to do with the color of the athletic uniforms! The logo:

Modification of this in any way is punishable by death. They also invented a new font for this, which is called "Steve." Steve the font.

Watch it before the NSA T3Media finds you. 50 interceptions:

Entrance of the Lambs. Good news for the baseball team, as Jackson Lamb (P/Civil War general) has reportedly turned down a third-round offer from MLB and will matriculate this fall. Lamb eventually went in the 20th round to Texas, so unless Texas ends up with a ton of extra money by not signing their top picks—baseball got serious about their slotting regulations recently—Lamb will anchor Erik Bakich's first recruiting class.

Over the weekend, Lamb led his Bedford team to a regional title. I'll let Ryan Autullo take it from here:

In exhausting both his pitch count and a mouthy opposing lineup, Jackson Lamb lifted the Kicking Mules to a 3-1 regional semifinal win over Taylor Kennedy. …

Lamb encountered control issues for the second game in a row, walking six batters and wracking up a whopping 146 pitches — exactly twice as many as Kuhr’s 73. Nevertheless, he didn’t allow a run until the bottom of the seventh, at which time Bedford was in front 3-0. An antagonistic Kennedy dugout made a point early and often to try to rattle Michigan’s Gatorade player of the year, mocking Lamb’s failure to locate his fastball and breaking into vociferous chatter typically seen in softball.

Well, I never.

Three more recruits went late and shouldn't be a threat to sign, but junior Michael O'Neill (Yes That O'Neill) got drafted by the Yankees in the third and is probably out the door.

If you get in, you see this. Despite featuring lot of non-regulation Ms, this business tugged a heart string or two:

Bring a fan to orientation. Trust me.

This changes nothing. Indiana made the College World Series, marking the first time since Michigan did it that a Big Ten team has made it to Omaha. This is what a cell phone looked like back then:

on the left, probably

It was 1984.

Meanwhile it has been perfect baseball weather in Ann Arbor for much of the past month, and Fisher sits empty when it could be selling me hot dogs and giving the BTN something other than Bret Bielema fishing tips to televise. The history of NCAA baseball has been Southern teams flipping the northern bits of the country off, and since that's never going to change the Big Ten should just play their own game with 25 scholarships and wood bats. Cheese 'em off real good, that would.

I mean, they could use the money cannon for something cool for once.

Ana-what-now? Apparently Trey Burke's pending, minor draft fall is being driven by data-conscious NBA teams:

"Sources say a number of teams that rely heavily on analytics have Carter-Williams rated higher than Burke," Ford wrote. "While both players look good in the various analytical approaches teams employ, Carter-Williams is coming up at No. 1 and No. 2 overall on several teams' reports. For teams that value analytics, that's a big deal.

"Finally, teams are always looking for upside in the lottery. Carter-Williams has extraordinary size for his position. He is a terrific athlete. He sees the floor as well as any point guard in the draft. His weaknesses -- primarily his shaky jumper -- are the only thing holding him back from being a top-5 pick right now."

Those numbers must be pretty advanced to be able to rank Carter-Williams over Burke, who finished second in the kPOY rankings because he was a huge-usage, huge-assist-rate, low-TO, high-eFG guard. IE: he did everything you could do well. Carter-Williams didn't even finish in the top 500(!) in ORtg because there aren't any barns in upstate New York he hasn't flung a ball past, shooting 44%/29% despite putting up only 20% of Syracuse shots while he's on the court.

Can any defensive ability top that massive gap? I get the upside thing—if MCW learns to shoot he will probably be a better NBA player than Burke despite their college numbers—but isn't that a huge leap to make? How many rhetorical questions can I stuff in a single paragraph? Four?

Trey is just like well, like, that's your opinion, man.

Old school, and OLD SCHOOL. Dooley catches up with a guy who uses "aught-three" to mean 1903:

“My dad played football at [M.A.C.] in the class of aught three,” Drake told me.   “It wasn’t intercollegiate football; it was class team football.  They beat each other up without headgear on the banks of the Red Cedar.”

Yeah, he went to State, but he was in town over the weekend for the Fantasy Camp. Here's Gerald Drake meeting Hoke:

Okay, Bleacher Report, okay. Even though you still pop up an exhortation for me to subscribe to your newsletter on literally every misbegotten visit to your website, I will link you for this from Miami commit KC McDermott:

AK: What's the Urban Meyer story?

KM: The Urban Meyer thing was just funny to me. He came to my school a week after I told his assistant that I wasn't even interested in them. I told him no to his face, and it's got to be one of the top five reactions of someone ever. His facial expression was just so funny. My coach was tearing up and had to go in his office to laugh.

AK: Talk more about coach Meyer's face when you told him no. Was he mad, upset?

KM: More like the state of shock where the guy has literally never been told no in his life. It literally looked like a kid the first time you tell him 'no, you can't do something.' It looked like he was a baby about to cry. It was so funny.

If you find a recruit willing to describe Dantonio as "about as personable as a rock, and not a shiny rock you'd find in a river, but like, a boring rock, like some limestone or something" I will link you again, Bleacher Report.

Etc.: My mom would get along with Laura Hoke. The sad status quo for ND-M. Michigan is a dog versus both MSU and OSU early. What Johns Hopkins means for B10 lax. Hype video. Surprise: the Big Ten won't go DIII if O'Bannon wins. Goodbye, Denard.

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