"The face of the operation is Briatore (referred to exclusively in the film by his colleagues and angry, chanting detractors as "Flavio"), an anthropomorphic radish who spends most of his time at QPR plotting to fire all of the managers."
First in what will be a series covering the aughts in Michigan football extending through mid-August. This one mostly written by someone else.
Via Craig Barker, who is sometimes of the Hoover Street Rag, ESPN's decade wrapup video:
Aaand everything in it:
Bowden vs. Paterno in the 2006 Orange Bowl
Ian Johnson's marriage proposal
"The Bush Push" as Matt Leinart scores a touchdown, with an assist from Reggie Bush, to beat Notre Dame in 2005
Calvin Johnson vs. NC State behind the back
Miami's Ed Reed is hurt, dawg. Please do not ask him if he's all right. Hell no. He's putting his heart into this dawg. Let's go.
Florida State's Christian Ponder makes a leap into the end zone against South Florida.
Michigan State's Charles Rogers makes a one handed catch vs. Notre Dame
A UCLA player makes a one handed grab
Florida State's Peter Warrick one handed grab vs. Virginia Tech in the 2000 Sugar Bowl
Georgia's Knowshown Moreno leaps a Central Michigan defender during a 2008 game
Kentucky's behind the back pass
An Oklahoma player flips into the end zone during the Bedlam game in 2008.
Miami/FIU fight at the Orange Bowl
Virginia Tech's Frank Beamer slaps player's helmet
Virginia Tech player accidentally slaps Frank Beamer
A different Virginia Tech player accidentally slaps Frank Beamer again
Iowa's Drew Tate beats LSU late to win 2005 Capital One Bowl
Oklahoma player makes a one handed grab against Nebraska
An Army player makes a grab off a huge deflection
USC's Reggie Bush has several highlights.
USC's Reggie Bush as introduced by Keith Jackson
Miami's Ed Reed is so motivated to get to the Rose Bowl, he steals the ball from teammate on a recovery of a BC interception in a 2001 game.
Oregon's LeGarrette Blount punched a Boise State player in the 2009 season opening game.
Pittsburgh's Larry Fitzgerald makes a diving catch against Oregon State in the 2002 Insight Bowl.
Pittsburgh's Larry Fitzgerald makes an exceptional catch against Texas A&M in 2003.
Georgia Tech's Calvin Johnson makes a diving catch against Georgia in 2005
Georgia Tech's Calvin Johnson leaping catch against NC State in 2005
Michigan's Braylon Edwards bobbling catch against Indiana in 2004.
Michigan's Braylon Edwards makes a TD catch in overtime against Michigan State in 2004.
NC State player goes head first into goal post against UNC
MSU player lays out a Badger
FSU player lays out a Cane in the rain
Clemson player knocks off a BC Eagle's helmet
Miami player attempts to stop a WVU run, but Mountaineer will not be denied.
Texas's Vince Young pump fakes and goes against Oklahoma State
Texas's Chris Simms gets picked off and returned for a TD by Oklahoma after pass is stripped. [Ed: The famous Flying Squirrel Attack.]
Rutgers gets pumped up in the locker room
USC's Dwayne Jarrett makes a spectacular one handed grab at Washington.
One handed falling down grab (looks D-II)
USC's Mike Williams makes a magical grab against Oregon State in 2003.
Alabama's Tyrone Prothro absurd catch against Southern Miss in 2005.
Oklahoma's Adrian Peterson makes a spin move
Oklahoma's Adrian Peterson blows a guy up
Auburn running back #2 with a juke move
West Virginia's Steve Slaton with a juke move
Rutgers player leaps over a Louisville defender
Stanford #2 leaps into end zone against Texas
Georgia's Knowshon Moreno leaps into end zone against Arizona State in 2008.
Clemson's CJ Spiller points as he runs into the end zone against Georgia Tech.
Virginia Tech's Michael Vick evades a sack in the 2000 Sugar Bowl.
An FSU player blows up the helmets of two UNC players in their 2009 game.
A Penn State player gets leveled by USC player in the 2009 Rose Bowl.
A Minnesota player gets blown up by a Purdue player.
Arizona's Jolivette gets blown up by a Mallard in their 2000 game.
Ohio State's Troy Smith celebrates against Penn State in 2006
TCU's LaDanian Tomlinson runs wild in 2001.
West Virginia's Owen Schmitt bashes his head with his own helmet.
Texas Tech lineman Brandon Carter launches stream of liquid into air
Alabama's Mark Ingram celebrates a touchdown in the 2009 SEC title game.
A UCLA player [the QB] gets destroyed by a USC player [Ray Maualuga ] on the sideline [Ed: one week after the Crable helmet-to-helmet. Argh.]
Miami's Santana Moss says "Big time players step up in big time games, that's all I got to say"
An Army/Navy hand shake
Georgia celebrates as a team at the 2007 Cocktail Party against Florida.
Notre Dame's Charlie Weis on crutches on the sideline with Notre Dame players
USC's Reggie Bush scores a touchdown against Washington
Michigan's Mike Hart stiff arms Ohio State's Malcolm Jenkins during their 2006 game.
Sad Tim Tebow is sad.
Florida's Tim Tebow gets stopped by Ole Miss during their 2008 game
Florida fan is sad
Florida's Tim Tebow issues "The Pledge"
Florida's Tim Tebow is contemplative
Georgia Tech #22
Georgia Tech salute
Virginia Tech massacre and then the Hokies rally Blacksburg and the VT community
Penn State's Adam Taliaferro is paralyzed during the Nittany Lions 2000 game against Ohio State
Penn State's Joe Paterno reminds Adam Taliaferro that they're all praying for him
Adam Taliaferro returns to Happy Valley, walking on to the field before their 2001 game against Miami.
Iowa State's Paul Rhoads salutes the Cyclones in their locker room after beating Nebraska in 2009
Miami coach Larry Coker celebrates
Oklahoma's Josh Heupel celebrates Sooners victory in the 2001 Orange Bowl
Boise State's Ian Johnson asks Chrissy Popadics to marry him after winning the 2007 Fiesta Bowl
Boston College's Matt Ryan beats Virginia Tech in the rain in 2007.
In Triple Overtime, Navy beats Notre Dame in South Bend in 2007 for the first time in 44 years
Navy's Paul Johnson is excited to have won the game
Notre Dame's Charlie Weis, not so much
Unidentified player is sad
Nebraska player is sad during the 2002 National Championship game
Miami's Willis McGahee is sad after injuring his knee in the 2003 Fiesta Bowl
Florida's Tim Tebow is sad again after losing the 2009 SEC Championship game
Marshall's Byron Leftwich is carried to the line by his teammates against Akron
The Trinity 15-lateral Play to beat Millsaps in 2007.
Texas Tech's Michael Crabtree scores a last second touchdown to beat Texas in 2008. [Man up Crab!]
Texas Tech's Michael Crabtree is very happy
Texas's Colt McCoy is sad.
Georgia's David Greene upsets #5 Tennessee at Neyland in 2001, as Larry Munson explains that Georgia "stepped on their face with a hobnail boot and broke their nose!"
Tennessee's Phil Fulmer just looks like he has been kicked in the midsection with a hobnail boot
Michigan State's John L. Smith explains "The kids are playing their hearts out and the coaches are screwing it up" against Ohio State in 2005 after OSU blocked a field goal and returned it for a TD to end the half.
Michigan State's John L. Smith slaps himself during a press conference after the 2006 Notre Dame game (The source of the Mike Valenti "Got Stanton out there running the option in Hurricane Katrina" rant)
Oklahoma State's Mike Gundy demands that you come after him, for he's a man, he's forty in defending his quarterback against a "slander" in the newspapers after defeating Texas Tech.
LSU's Les Miles requests politely that you "Please ask me after. I'm busy. Thank you very much. Have a great day.” as he discusses the Herbstreit rumor regarding his new job as Michigan's head coach before the 2007 SEC title game.
"The Bluegrass Miracle" as Kentucky's Hal Mumme gets a Gatorade bath a little too early as LSU rallies to beat Kentucky in 2002.
Stanford pulls the biggest upset of the 2000s (point spread) as the Cardinal beat USC in the Coliseum in 2007.
USC girl is sad
Michigan's Chad Henne finds Mario Manningham with no time left to end Penn State's perfect season in 2005
Rutgers plays its part in the Thursday night upset tradition as they beat #3 Louisville in 2006.
Craig Krenzel finds Malcolm Jenkins on a 37 yard pass to keep Ohio State's perfect 2002 season alive as Brent Musburger exclaims "Holy Buckeye!"
The Horror, let's move on. OK, fine
Defending I-AA Champion Appalachian State blocks a last second field goal attempt to preserve their 2007 season opening upset of #5 Michigan
App. State coach Jerry Moore gets carried off the field
Sad Michigan fans are sad.
Coach Tressel leads the Buckeyes on to the field at the 2003 Fiesta Bowl
Ohio State keeps the dream alive with a very late flag for Pass Interference against Miami
Miami's Ken Dorsey cannot find a man, Ohio State wins 2003 BCS national championship.
Sad Ken Dorsey is sad.
LSU defender is happy during the 2004 Nokia Sugar Bowl
Pittsburgh celebrates a victory
Purdue's Drew Brees celebrates the Boilermakers advancing to the 2001 Rose Bowl
Air Force player celebrates a great play.
Tim Tebow celebrates a great play during the 2009 Orange Bowl
Florida State's Chris Rix celebrates a great play against Florida
Boise State executes a textbook hook and lateral to score late against Oklahoma in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl
Boise State players are happy
Boise State's Jared Zabransky executes a textbook Statue of Liberty play to Ian Johnson in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl
Boise State's Chris Peterson is very very happy about the result of the previous play
Texas' Vince Young scrambles for the winning touchdown against USC in the 2006 Rose Bowl.
Texas players are very excited about the results of that previous play
Texas' Vince Young is covered in confetti
aaand scene. Many thanks to Craig for breaking it down. Condolences to the all but totally ignored 2004 Auburn Tigers.
Correction. The recruiting profile of Richard Ash brought up Jason Kates because he's the canonical recent example of a guy whose weight problems prevented him from becoming a player. In that post, I mentioned that Rivals had 'won' that evaluation since they issued two stars to Scout's four. I got that backwards. It was Scout that was skeptical and thus won.
The underbelly of disaster(!). Tim is taking in the official media bit of the tour (lunch!) and is tweeting brooding photos of empty stuff. Full post coming up later today; for those who can't wait UM Tailgate got in way early and already has the first of what will be dozens of galleries posted today. Swanky:
Meanwhile, Michigan has released this year's box-engorged seating capacity: 109,901, which puts it back in its rightful place as the largest in the country. Wikipedia was updated in nanoseconds:
Michigan Stadium's capacity will drop next year when the seats and aisles are widened but should still check in #1.
Beam me up. I can't control when I get the weird photoshops of recently graduated players, but here's this:
His people are Patriots. Thanks to Corey Ray.
Also in graphic stuff, TRSaunders expands his library of MS Paint crazy photo stuff with Cam Gordon.
Raid your own stadium. Tickets for the Big Chill are all but officially sold out as Michigan holds back the last few blocks for incoming freshmen. Unless you head to Michigan State's ticket department, that is. Buy away. Plot in the message board thread.
In graphic form. A poster named BlueMonster threw this chart up on Rivals. It speaks for itself:
Steele can be wobbly on certain things but not wobbly enough to get Michigan out of the overall cellar when they're so far behind the nearest competitor, especially since Steele's evaluation of Michigan's starters is significantly more veteran than the actual lineup will be.
Interesting to note that UConn, which had a rep as a very veteran outfit, comes in towards the bottom of the list. Penn State, meanwhile, checked in next to Michigan at just below average on the Steele experience ranking but is well up the rankings here. Everything else looks to be about what you'd expect, with that Notre Dame game looming large as an opportunity to start off in a non-flailing fashion.
Expansion of the other variety. Everyone else has an opinion, so I should too: the NCAA has announced that the four play-in games will be contested in two groups: everyone who used to be a 16 seed plays for two spots and the last four at-large teams will play for the other two. So everyone gets slid down one more notch and the three teams that are added have to play for a spot with the team that would have been the last at-large in a 65-team tournament.
I was against any sort of expansion from the start and still think 68 is goofy, but if they're going to do it this is the best way. The 16 seeds are invariably weak opponents and bidding another one goodbye is not going to make anyone shed a tear. While the occasional interesting team finds itself a 15 seed, usually the worst 15 seed is no threat against the best 2. Meanwhile, having the last few at-large bids face off against each other will reduce the "what about X" complaining every year because X will have an opportunity to play Y, settling the argument on the court. More of those third place Mountain West or A-10 teams will get the opportunity to prove themselves better than Clemson or Minnesota.
The Artist Formerly Known As Big Ten Wonk dislikes this, calling it "dumb":
I realize many pundits are fine with this today, but wait until they see it in action with actual team names inserted into these brackets. Inevitably a five-seed will lose to a 12 that emerged from a play-in game and we’ll hear all the usual talk about the “advantage” and “momentum” the 12 had from playing already. And as for talk of 10-seeds being in play-in games, mark me down as absolutely terrified. I’m already on the record as thinking that tournament seeding has far too little to do with reality. (And note that today’s decision only raises the stakes that will be riding on a team’s seed.)
Now, if you’re talking about a team seeded as high as a 10, there’s a good chance that said team is way better than the selection committee could have realized. To require a team that good to win an extra game while every year the 64th-best team in the field is guaranteed a comparatively easy six-win path is antithetical to what’s made the NCAA tournament the best postseason spectacle in major American team sports. We’ve trusted the tournament’s outcomes precisely to the extent that the courts have been neutral, the brackets have been balanced, and the opportunities have been equal.
I think that's an anticipation about talking heads doing the thing where they have a fierce disagreement over a petty issue because of Stephen A Smith and not an actual argument that this will be a factor, but even so I must dissent from Gasaway's dissent. A case where the second to last at large spot is actually a 10 seed will be exceedingly rare. The equivalent would be the last at large in the current tourney being a 10, which I'm pretty sure has never happened. Meanwhile, the 64th-best team has earned something (the auto-bid) the last teams in have not. It's not entirely fair but if it keeps a bunch of small teams from getting shuffled to "TruTV" in favor of major conference mediocrities, I'm in favor of it. Seeds are mostly guesses and a small conference team that won its championship and avoided the play-in has proven itself better than a subset of college basketball; major conference teams that finish seventh have not done this.
The committee did the best possible job given they had to assemble a 68-team tournament and include a cable channel no one's even heard of.
Leader for real. Now that the World Cup is over it can be said: ESPN has shed its Mark Shapiro skin and has returned to something that people can both love and hate instead of just the latter. Not once during the 2010 tournament did I pine for the Univision that I had in HD in 2006 but not 2010, and this is despite the fact that Univision is such terrific fun that I would occasionally flip on replays of games I'd already watched just to hear someone's head explode because of Diego Forlan. Also, 30 for 30 is an unqualified success, the sort of original programming that ESPN always should have done instead of "I'd Do Anything" or literally everything else Shapiro ever came up with. (His latest trick: running Six Flags into the ground.)
Everything from the play by play to the studio crew was fantastic—even Alexi Lalas was genuinely fun when he ribbed the English. My only complaint was the time spent showing replays when action was going on, and that wasn't even ESPN's fault since FIFA controls the feed. There has never been a greater turnaround between consecutive broadcasts of a single event. Last year we were stuck with Dave O'Brien and Marcelo Balboa.
Why can't they do this for other sports? Well, if you took ESPN's top four college football announce teams (PBP: Musberger, McDonough, Franklin, ?) they would probably come close to the four excellent teams put together for the World Cup. When you get to #8 it's Pam Ward, and by #12 it's that awful Rod Gilmore/Trevor Matich color pairing that had a combined IQ approximately the equal of tapioca pudding that went 12-20 in 15 years as as boxer. Plus ESPN had the pick of any English announcers they wanted. If you could put together an All-Star roster of college football from ESPN, CBS, Fox, and, uh, NBC… well… you'd get Verne Lundquist. Never mind.
Initial NCAA impressions. If you're like me and have gotten tired of EA's consistently lame NCAA franchise, I suggest you check out GameShark folks Bill Abner and Todd Brakke's "Nut and Feisty Weasel," where they'll be posting their annual stream of consciousness reviews of the latest edition. These are always unvarnished and far more useful than any review ever is.
The first impression, as always, is promising. This is something that I don't know if an NCAA game has ever managed before:
John Clay had 88 yards on 20 carries. He was hard as hell to tackle. Michigan? I shut that team down with impunity. I had a chance late to get the ball back against Wisky and they marched 30 yards to nail the coffin shut.
Against UM my DE Cam Heyward was UNBLOCKABLE. He was KILLING whoever the Michigan RT is. 3 sacks, multiple pressures, etc. In years past this would raise a quick red flag. This is a potential pattern that could really kill the game because before--something like this simply meant...the AI blocking sucks.
Against Wisky? Heyward was as non factor. And believe me...I tried.
Abner is an OSU fan, unfortunately. Let's hope the game's projection for Mark Huyge is pessimistic.
Etc.: Pittsburgh and Philadelphia get the 2013 and 2014 Frozen Fours. Fine by me; at least Pittsburgh is drivable. Boston fans are complaining about the FF's long absence from their neck of the woods—by 2014 it will be a decade—and I would have some sympathy if the Detroit FF was the first time in forever that the perpetually-screwed CCHA had gotten to host one. Rivals ranks Michigan a job-saving #41.
Probably no reason to be alarmed. This popped up over a busy weekend: that thread on the message board has validity to it. There was an incident at Scorekeeper's over the weekend between a few football players and (presumably gel-haired) ruffians. You can extrapolate the names from context if you want.
Anyway: a couple sources indicate that the incident is very unlikely to end up in court or anything; suspensions are therefore unlikely and the punishment will probably be handled by Barwis.
About whom eeee. Will Johnson remains the scariest bald 22 year old on the planet:
Defensive tackle Will Johnson turned in the day’s most-impressive performance, wowing the scouts and onlookers with an eye-popping and record-setting 47 reps of 225 pounds. The effort eclipsed anything that has been previously achieved by a Wolverine and broke what was believed to be the NFL Combine record, 42 reps set by former U-M left tackle Jake Long last season. Johnson also clocked 4.9 second in the 40-yard dash.
Johnson's given up on the receding hairline and gone for the wholly bald look, which usually makes white guys look like cancer patients. Johnson, however…
…eh, not so much.
Marve? More like No-rve. Miami transfer Robert Marve, he of the father that really hates Randy Shannon, has a final list of schools he's considering:
Former Miami quarterback Robert Marve, who left the Hurricanes after his redshirt freshman season, hopes to choose a new school after visiting Michigan, Nebraska, Purdue, Texas Tech, South Florida and UCLA.
Uh, one of these schools is not like the other when it comes to "enjoys pocket passers": Michigan. Marve has to sit out next year and will be a redshirt junior when eligible, so bringing him in would be like taking a JUCO QB in the 2010 class. A pocket-passing JUCO who wasn't very good and has a tendency to blow up in a program-embarrassing fashion when not anointed the starter.
Michigan doesn't need drama or pocket passers who won't be eligible this year. I don't have any inside info here, I seriously doubt Marve even takes a visit, and if he ends up transferring to Michigan I'll eat my hat.
Goodbye, beautiful antagonist. Le Anne Schreiber's two-year run as ESPN ombudsman has come to an end. She was excellent, if almost always ignored, and her final column aptly sums up the frustrations many sports fans have with the Worldwide Monolith:
the message from fans that I have found hardest to impress on ESPN's executives and talent is this: The predictable day-after-day dominance on ESPN of certain marquee teams and players is making a lot of fans both heartsick and cynical.
The rest of it is right on and worth reading, especially if you're the guy who directed the Michigan-Iowa game and thought it would be a fantastic idea to miss game action for fake Tom Izzo hairstyles.
Dhani Jones: famous! True story: once when I was in college Dhani Jones came to a performance of the sketch comedy troupe I was writing for. At the time he had just had some sort of shoulder surgery and was beslinged. After the show I approached him, said hi, asked him how the arm was doing, and actually sort of patted him on the back, if I remember correctly. It was creepy. This was mortifying about 5 seconds after the fact, and remains so to this day.
Anyway, Jones is now on the TV, and if he ever mentions "random Albanians" that's probably my doing. Also he won't ever do that. But he'll do other things:
Jones, a former Michigan and current Cincinnati Bengals linebacker -- and bow tie designer -- brings a nice light touch to his new Travel Channel series, which premieres at 9 p.m. Monday. [uh… yesterday.]
In future weeks, he'll take on nine more sports, including rugby in England, dragon boat racing in Singapore, Schwingen wrestling in Switzerland, hurling in Ireland and jai alai in Spain, while sampling the local culture in beautifully shot travelogues.
"They're all amazing sports," Jones said. "It's hard to say which one I enjoyed more than the others. Some are more intense than others, some are more enjoyable, but they all were life-changing."
Jones rugby exploits for the show were featured here a while back.
Etc.: Wojo on Manny and Sims.
Um... yeah. So here's a bunch of stuff you probably would have cared about a lot more at nine this morning. My piece on CSTV is up. I basically punt on "who has the better tradition."
The BBC tries to understand. SMQB takes a look at Michigan. EDSBS presents their Factor Six preview. Jon Chait takes on some Buckeye at Slate. The Hoover Street Rag has an extensive preview of their own (and a photo essay). ESPN picks Michigan and Ohio State's all time teams. Markh100 has put together a Breaston highlight reel from this season.
Third party previews from Black Shoe Diaries, The Cover Two, and Rakes of Mallow (who just predicts "pain"). Some guy from Hardball talks about the game. Western College Hockey takes timeout to look at the Game. Maisel on the D. Rocky Top Talk animates our path to the showdown... complete with phallic jackhammer. Or is that redundant?
(Senior Day Haiku spreads.)