The NFL Grinch---a bitter, grouchy, internet-dwelling creature with a heart "two sizes too small"—heard all the noisy coaching festivities in Blueville. Annoyed, he decided to steal Christmas.
He pretended to be Santa Claus. He brought a bag of Super Bowl rings to Santa Clara (no, not Santa’s sister but the city where JH worked). Offering this bag of tricks in trade, the Grinch tried to steal from JH the 49 million presents that Blueville gave him. To do so, the NFL Grinch concocted not a crafty lie but a meaningless truism. He argued to JH that “Only in the NFL can you win the NFL Championship.” It was like saying: “ Only in Alabama can you visit the Alabama State Capitol.” or “Only at Grant’s Tomb can you see Grant’s final resting place.” Inhabitants of Blueville instantly saw the NFL Grinch’s ruse for what is was: just empty words from somebody full of himself
But the residents of Blueville worried still that the Grinch would steal JH and ruin their Christmas. They worried until a sports statistician working for JH showed him why the SB rings were fool’s gold. He pointed out that
-One of the best teams in NFL history went 18-0 but did not get a SB ring.
-One of the greatest coaches ever--Bill Belichick—who had won 3 SBs---has not won a single SB so far in the past ten years despite each year being atop the AFC East
-Oakland never even had a winning record for the past 12 years and to win a SB in 6 years would take more than a miracle. Suppose a new miracle worker coach could turn them into the Seattle Seahawks in 6 years. Say, their preseason SB odds increased constantly from their preseason 200-1 to 6-1 (the odds for Seattle). Even then, the chances of a single SB win during ALL of the first five years would be 0.05. —that’s less than the chances of winning a roulette bet on zero (0 ,00). During the coach’s final, 6th year—after he’s turned them into the Seahawks-- the probability of a SB win still would be only 0.14—about the chances you’d win in Vegas by betting on craps (2,3,12).
So, JH saw that the NFL Grinch’s argument about the SB was BS. Looking at his friends and family, as well as the young players and recruits in Blueville, he also realized that Christmas meant a bit more to him than a bag of rings from the NFL Grinch. JH then rejoined the joyous inhabitants of Blueville, who were singing the Victors. They all thanked JH for defeating the Grinch and saving Christmas. Then, in the far above clouds, the honorary major of Blueville—named bl-Ufer said: “God bless his cotton pickin' maize and blue heart.”
One of ESPN's college football analysts was on the radio this morning talking about OSU's QB situation next year. They mentioned the possibility Braxton Miller graduates early and transfers to play somewhere else next year. Would you like to see our next HC go after him?
If all these 70-85% gut feelings are accurate, then we know our next HC has run read option in San Fran. I think Shane and our other QBs have the talent to be good, but I don't know if they would be our best option come late August. I assume we could deal with a Buckeye transferring in since there seemed to not be a large, vocal opposition to Herman in the head coaching posts. Is it worth it to "recruit" Braxton Miller?
My parents live about 20 minutes north of Ann Arbor, and I just talked to them. Apparently one of their friends is a Real Estate agent that has very recently been showing some extremely high end houses to a "Mrs. Harbaugh." I am still not going to be convinced until it's a done deal, but the stars seem to be aligning at this point... (crosses fingers and prays...)
MOD EDIT - I initially took this down, but you know, it's pretty funny. We'll keep it for a bit longer. - LSA