"Northwestern fans can be both heartened and disheartened by the loss to Minnesota just like how nineteenth-century resurrectionists were heartened when they pried a heart from a freshly-buried corpse and then disheartened it when they sold it to a disreputable anatomist."
Congrats! You're the new head coach at the University of Michigan! It's a wonderful university with a rich academic and athletic history. The product on the field was a tire-fire in 2014, but you know that. Hopefully you're good enough at "coaching football" even if you don't know "The Victors" yet.
You should know that there are 2 parts to coaching Michigan - being a good football coach and knowing how to bullshit/placate your base. I'm hoping you're proficient at the former and that's why you're here. In terms of the latter:
You'll get asked about being a "Michigan Man". Here's how you should answer that: 'When Coach Schembechler said that "A Michigan Man should coach Michigan" he was referring to a basketball coach shopping his services. Why anyone would want to leave this great university is beyond me. I'm here because I want to be here. I'm here to help make this the greatest football program in the country and I'll put 100% into that every day. I don't know the words to The Victors yet, but I know I'll hear them after every Touchdown and Turnover, so I'll be hearing it often. My staff will start every meeting with it and we will embody everything that this great university stands for.' (If you've got a tie to Michigan history, use it here. Say you're from the same area of WV as Yost... sigh... or if you coached at Miami like Bo, or something)
You'll get asked about former players. There are some high profile ones who are varying levels of happy with the program. To them you should say: "Any former player is welcome to my office any time I'm not with the team or preparing for a game. I'm creating an "Alumni Day" every fall when we welcome back any and every former football letterman during a game, in addition to the flag football game as part of our spring game. If any former letterman wants to attend a game, give me a call. Between myself and the AD we'll get you to the games that you need to go to. If you have a legacy recruit - a son, younger brother, cousin - no questions asked they will be offered a preferred walk-on spot here at Michigan. We have to make decisions that are best for the program and if we, as a staff, have scholarships available we'd love to offer them to your legacy.
You'll get asked about wearing a headset/coaches in the booth/on the field. Say that you have to balance communicating with your players and your staff and if you ever have an issue with either you'll change your behavior.
You'll get asked if this is an elite job. Answer "Yes. Winningest program (hopefully still :-( ), The Big House, glorious history and the best damn uniforms in sports. Michigan has all the tools to be an elite program and I'll to my best to win every single game we play every year."
You'll get asked about the B1G being Big tehhhhhnnnn "The B1G has a glorious history in football, but as a conference we need to do better in our non conference slate. There's no reason why every program in this conference can't commit the resources and personnel to be the best conference in the country. We are doing that at Michigan and hope everyone else does as well."
You'll get asked about Michigan State - say that you've got all the respect in the world for them, they've been doing great recently, and that you want to beat them by 20 every year.
You'll get asked about Ohio State - say that you've got all the respect in theworld for them, they've been doing great recently, and that you want to beat them by 50 every year.
You'll get asked a bunch of other bullshit. Realize that you could go 14-0 and win every game by 20. There will be Michigan fans who are upset because you didn't win by 30, or didn't score a point-a-minute, or your QB didn't "look" right, or you weren't as angry as they remember Bo being, or you yelled to much, or because you said that Zingermans is delicious but overpriced.
Don't worry about these people.
Worry about coaching the team, keeping them healthy, punting not-like-a-dinosaur, and winning some games. I hear that fixes everything.
According to Rivals he is. What's your opinion?
This article by Spencer over at EDSBS was only pretty good until I got to Thad Matta. Now, I must share it with you all.
Thad Matta: "Le Miniature"
My favorite thing about Thad Matta's hair is that it's like a normal person's hair that has gradually shrunk over time, perhaps after repeated dryings on high heat.
I find this surprising and depressing.
Athlon ranks Hoke 2nd only to newcomer Urban Meyer. Commence the wails of righteous indignation from E. Lansing that Mark Dantonio is ranked under Hoke.
1. Urban Meyer (OSU)
2. Brady Hoke (Tremendous!)
3. Mark Dantonio (MSU)
4. Pat Fitzgerald (NU)
5. Bret Bielema (Wis)
6. Kirk Ferentz (Iowa)
7. Bo Pelini (Neb)
8. Jerry Kill (MN)
9. Tim Beckman (IL)
10. Danny Hope (Purdue)
11. Bill O'Brien (PSU)
12. Kevin Wilson (IU)
Updated with Chris Balas tweet and Scout board link.
Stefon Diggs going to Michigan isn't going to happen.
First, here's what Diggs had to say:
“I was going to go to Michigan, but as of now, I’m not sure,” he said. “Maybe Auburn or Florida. I’ve got four left, so we’ll see how it goes.”
The deal breaker betweent the coaches and Diggs took place last weekend though. Apparently Diggs and the coaches had an arrangement for an in-home visit but Diggs took an official visit to Cal instead, without telling the coaches. So the coaches showed up while Diggs wasn't there.
This, something else, or maybe a combination have caused the coaches to make the decision to not continue recruiting Diggs. Again, it's by the choice of the coaches, not by Diggs, that he is no longer being recruited.
A lot of questions were getting asked in the other thread so I figured I'd make another thread to answer because it seems like the news would be of interest to a lot of people.
A few people didn't believe me so here is what Chris Balas tweeted:
Balas_Wolverine Chris BalasDon't expect WR Stefon Diggs at Michigan next year, but U-M will take another receiver in this class. Might find out who sooner than later.
And a link to a Scout board, skip the first one and the people fighting about spelling and you have multiple posters corroborating what I posted: