This list is completely arbitrary and not a genuine analysis of the relative merits of state fossils.
100% Pure columbian awesome
In the style of
Kevin Johnson arrived in Ann Arbor in the fall of 2007. The first athletic event he attended would forever shape the rest of his 6 years on the University of Michigan campus. Kevin found himself jumping up and down with joy on a typical Ann Arbor fall Saturday afternoon as Mario Manningham was dragged down after receiving a 46-yd pass from Chad Henne in what assuredly was going to be the key in avoiding an embarrassment of epic proportions. When Mountaineer Corey Lynch blocked the would-be game winning field goal, every Wolverine fan was stunned. Kevin, however, fell into a deep depression.
Kevin would go on to attend Michigan football and basketball games with regularity. The 2008 return to the NCAA tournament was just a slight reprieve from what was a year of routine disappointment for Kevin. By sophomore year, Kevin attempted to live the life of a regular UM student. Kevin settled on a political science major, hung out with friends and held down a campus job. Still, the pain from the Horror of 2007 stuck with Kevin. By the time graduation came in 2011, Kevin was at a loss. His inability to move past the Horror resulted in his girlfriend dumping him. After failed internship interview after failed internship interview, Kevin decided that grad school was his only choice.
In the fall of 2011, Kevin enrolled in Law School with a renewed vigor and things started to look up. Michigan football exceeded expectations in Brady Hoke’s first year and Kevin began dating Annie – who he quickly fell in love with. The following summer was full of promise, though Kevin still worried – was he past the unmentionable start to his college career? As the penultimate semester concluded Kevin’s life again was thrown into shambles. After an intense outburst following Michigan’s loss to Ohio State, Annie left Kevin, saying she could never date a man who put a sports team ahead of his girlfriend. Parents and friends warned Kevin of his impending massive debt and grim career prospects in the law field. The malaise returned, with no end in sight.
Still, Kevin kept going to athletic events. On February 5, 2013 Kevin witnessed the unthinkable – a Michigan basketball program cement itself as the nation’s top team. After six tumultuous years, it was suddenly worth it. As if the heavens said “All your travails have been for this moment. Enjoy it, my son.” Kevin would walk home on air that night, proudly wearing his banana suit. There was nothing in the world that could hold him back.
Feel free to add the stories of the other characters in what will be the greatest story told on MGoBlog since the Naked Banner Guy.
I commented in another thread where I made this analogy, but I'd like to take it further.
As I read the response from a significant chunk of the OSU fanbase over the last few days, all that sprung to mind was this....
(Sorry, don't know how to embed).
Here is my interpretation of Buckeye fans as Chappelle:
Us: "You know, Tressel has been accused of this more than once."
Them: "So?! Some people say cucumbers taste better pickled."
Us: "So, what exactly would it take for you to believe that Tressel knew of these improprieties?
Them: "If there was video of Tressel watching Pryor receive cash from Dennis Talbott in exchange for autographed goods ... and Talbott was holding up 2 forms of government ID ... and then Tressel was over at Fine Line Ink watching Pryor hand over stolen goods, then supervising while Pryor received a new tattoo ... with Devier Posey and Boom Herron in the background smoking blunts and playing XBox, someone from Eleven Warriors there taking notes ... and with Ted Sarniak there to confirm Pryor's identity."
Us: "Can you at least acknowledge that Tressel more than likely knew what was happening?"
Them: "I'm sorry, sir. My buckeye-ness won't allow me to admit that."
Note: I believe that last quote came from a different Chappelle skit. Oh well.
days until our offense is looking gorgeous against Western.
There are also...
days until we defeat Lansing and make them feel self-conscious about how their mascot wears a skirt.
There are also...
days until we BEAT OHIO!
The sound may be a bit choppy, but you'll likely get over it.
I've been waiting for this ever since I saw this tweet last night from Tom Leyden of WXYZ:
Leyden has now delivered the goods, and they're good.
That glare is Lloyd Carr-esque. I wonder if that's what he means by Hard Edge? Nice suit/tie combo as well.