Warning: filled with fat jokes about Hoke and comparisons to fat famous people (which are already beyond old hat and about half as funny as ones about Chuck Weis because Hoke is about half as fat as Chuck Weis). Besides that, just a good way to get your blood pumping for the end of November:
What I'm saying is, Brady Hoke is, from a cultural standpoint, the perfect guy to coach the Michigan Wolverines football team. He is a pompous toad who squats upon the lilypad of elitism. Everything he has said after opening that gaping maw he calls a mouth has infuriated me to the point of violence, and I am starting to believe that nothing short of Ann Arbor being terrorized by Woody Hayes' rotting corpse would get him to stop talking about how awesome Michigan football is. More than any Michigan coach I can remember, I want to see his jowls shake with shame and sadness after yet another loss to Ohio State. His very existence has made me into a worse person, more vengeful and petty than ever before.
Just heard on TV that Hagerup violated team rules and was left behind. Hello, Tate Forcier? Maybe we never punt, and never kick a field goal?
Twas the night before The Game, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse.
The M flag was hung by the front door with care
With hopes that a victory soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
Dreaming visions of Denard and his dreads.
My wife in her pj’s and I in my M cap
Had just settled down for a November night nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to the window to see what was the matter.
Did I have a sickness? Some sort of bad fever?
It looked just like Greg Robinson’s beaver!
Behind this rodent arose such a sight,
A winged helmeted vision in the night.
More rapid than eagles the players they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
“Now Denard, now Daryl, now Junior and Vincent,
On Martin, on Roh, keep stunting and blitzin’,
On Kovacs, on Kenny, on Roundtree and Tate,
Tomorrow we knock off Ohio State!
The players charged right off with a shout,
And the beaver followed them to the south,
And I heard him exclaim, and I swear this is true,
“We’ll beat those Bucks. Let’s Go Blue!”
This all just happened.
Well, here we are. The night before the biggest game of the season. The outlook does not bode well for us. The hell with outlooks and the hell with osu. Let's build the most hate for them in one post that the negative energy travels to Columbus to see Justin Boren curl up into the fetus position and Terrell Pryor learns math.
Friday night. This will be our little bonfire pep rally.
The way osu students receive their degrees:
Now let it rip boys and girls....
I was on a flight this morning wearing my Michigan alumni gear sitting right next to a Buckeye, and we had a very nice conversation the entire flight. It makes me think we all might know at least one tolerable buckeye. I remember we did this with State week, but in the spirit of Thanksgiving, do you have buckeyes close to you that you enjoy their company?
I have close family friends that treat me like their second daughter. I avoid them one week a year.
GO BLUE! BEAT OSU!
MODS: feel free to delete if this clogs up the board. Just thought it'd be nice for the holiday.