in town for free camps
Demetri Martin is an awesome comedian. Check out his show on Comedy Central, or many youtube clips, or even his albums to find out more.
Here we recount a recent joke about vests.
"Vests exist to protect you from things.
A life vest protects you from drowning.
A bullet-proof vest protects you from getting shot.
A sweatervest protects you from having a girlfriend."
This bit was much too enjoyable not to post here where there is a particularly refined enmity towards all things sweatervest-y.
For those who are uninitiated, Demetri Martin offers forth a brand of "nerd humor" which
one might suspect would be popular among the mgoblog crowd. Some other examples:
A friend asks "Do you have a Plan B if this comedian thing doesn't work out?"
Martin: "Hell no! I number my plans"
Another joke about batteries:
"It's a good thing they don't have 'B' batteries. If they did, it would sound like you were stuttering when you asked for them."
Finally, a random joke:
"I wish I lived next to Carnegie Hall. Then, if someone asked me how to get to my
house, I would just say 'Practice, practice, practice, and then take a left.'"
And yes, this really doesn't have much to do with football. Other disclaimers:
this was not written by Demetri Martin. This was not written with any real
objective at all. Well, maybe one: to get you to go look up some Demetri Martin
clips and enjoy them as much as I have. Is that so wrong?
Lo Wood will be choosing his college of choice next month, if all goes to plan. His recruitment has been up and down lately, after what seemed to be a big Michigan lean. The recruiting ride took a sharp turn after Lo took a visit to Notre Dame's spring game.
He came back from the trip ranting and raving about the experience, and declared that Notre Dame was tied with Michigan. It seems that somewhere along the way the Fighting Irish have taken over the lead. This isn't a done deal, and as I said, it has been a roller coaster decision. If Lo was choosing now, it seems he would pick Notre Dame.
I fully expect the full court press to be put on by the Michigan coaches, which could result in our favor. Lo Senior's relationship with former Notre Dame players have played a role, as well as the Irish coaching staff. Several recruits have told me that it doesn't look good with Lo. They were quick to retort with a few names they are confident with, that would definitely make the fans happy. Rashad Knight was one name that came up, and it seems to look good for now.
As I said, and as we have all seen, anything can happen. This isn't over yet, but it looks like Notre Dame may have the advantage. Stay tuned...
If you bear with RichRod, don't get to carried away with the guys who leave UM, and stand behind him, by the middle of the 2010 season you will see that Michigan football is BACK!!
When RR was hear in West Virginia he took a school that was nothing and he did put WVU football on the map.
For his efforts(AND results) he was treated like crap by an AD who was envious of his ability to bring in donations, as well as a former school prez who made promises to Rich that he had no intentions of delivering on. I mean, the former prez was known for nothing at WVU other than trying to give our governors daughter a degree, without EVER attending WVU!
I know you've had some players leave, we had many leave when he first arrived in Morgantown,too.
I know that nobody was happy with the on-field results up their last fall.
But consider this, Rich could have used the on-hand talent to play power football, with a dropback passing attack,and, could have won another game or three.
He could have,but, he is not built that way. He did there what he did in Morgantown. He put his system in, even without the style of players that fit his system.
Now, many linemen starters, as I know Rich, have the option-read responsibilities down and with Forcier he is on the way with a double-threat QB.
I bet he has, or Tony(Gibson) has put up posters or board writings likw, 'Those Who Stay Will Be Champions' or something like that.
I coached basketball where Tony G, btw, played his high school football. He's a friendly sort so if you guys get the chance get close to him. Hell of a guy!
Rich left West Virginia, even though WV fans say it was a 'lateral move' (b.s., I tell them), but he left because he is a coach that wants to own a national title.
Support him guys. They'll be a lot better as this season goes along and after some experience with his new offensive backfield, starting in 2010 UM will be as good as anyone and a fixture in the NC hunt.
Good luck guys,
Hello everybody out there in the series of tubes known as the internet. Just thought I would update everyone on the happenings of UofM's Men's Club Ultimate Frisbee team, MagnUM. Bear with me, I know most of you football, basketball, and hockey junkies have never heard of Ultimate Frisbee, and are wondering why you should care. I ensure you that you will get some satisfaction out of reading on.
First, MagnUM qualified for their 9th trip to Collegiate Nationals in the last 11 years, earning the 9 seed out of 20 teams. The regional tournament was in Oberlin, OH and MagnUM came in as the top seed in the region. On Saturday of Regionals, MagnUM had a lapse in concentration and lost to the 4 seed, Illinois. Since the tournament is double elimination this set up a Sunday with games against Notre Dame (9th in the country) and Ohio State (20th in the country).
MagnUM took the Notre Dame game to what we Ultimate Frisbee players call Double Game Point. Normally games are played to 15, win by 2. This game, however, was tied at 16, and the next team to score would be the winner. MagnUM sent out a line of seniors and they came through, ending Notre Dame's season!
Next came Ohio State. The winner of this game would earn a bid to Nationals. Nationals this year is being hosted by Ohio State in Columbus. Nothing could be better for any Michigan team to eliminate Ohio State from a tournament that they would be hosting, and that is exactly what MagnUM did. The final score was 12-11 (cut short due to time constraints).
Also of note is MagnUM senior Will Neff. He is up for the Callahan Award, basically the Heisman of College Ultimate. You can watch his hype video here: http://www.magnumultimate.com/willneff
Thanks for taking the time to read this! If you feel like following the team at Nationals the tournament is Friday, May 22nd-Monday, May 25. You can follow it online at http://college2009.upa.org/
I'm sure that just about all of you have seen this: http://sports.yahoo.com/top/news;_ylt=AnPpRwCwXXWFFRCU.xKjujs5nYcB?slug=...
sitting on the cover of Yahoo! Sports (Y!S) over the last few days. It's not the first time that Y!S has run an expose type of thing on USC - it happened back in 2006 as well: http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/football/news?slug=ys-bushprobe.
The Yahoo! Sports team has always been my preferred source of news because more often than not, they report the news, without the sensationalism of The Worldwide Leader. They've embraced the blogging culture of sports, and understand that the educated sports fan wants facts, solid analysis, and doesn't give a rats ass about what Brett Favre is doing.
So I would think that if a reputable news agency manages to do the research and is willing to publish something along the lines of what we've seen, something should happen, right? And this isn't like the Ann Arbor News' "Probe" into academics at Michigan. There are actually real figures - "Floyd gave at least $1,000 in cash to Rodney Guillory" - and other pieces of evidence as opposed to fake statistical analysis.
Even with the Reggie Bush affair, nothing happened. Y!S ran that article ages ago. The NCAA was supposedly investigating at the time. Nothing happened. In the meantime, USC won three PAC-10 championships and went to three Rose Bowls.
The NCAA has cracked on other programs for recruiting violations. Alabama football, SMU football, IU basketball, Michigan basketball are just a few. These are (or were) all big name programs with a rich tradition for excellence. However, none of these had the spotlight and widespread following that USC does today. USC right now is college football's equivalent of the Yankees or the Lakers. They have a huge following of fans, and have a huge number of people who detest them. From the NCAA's point of view, this makes them a cash cow. They are a poster program for college athletics.
Having USC go down would be on par with someone like A-Rod or Manny testing positive for steroids in baseball (wait... oh snap! Sorry I had to do it). Actually, it would be closer to Mark Mcgwire and Sammy Sosa testing positive right on the heels of their HR chase. It would shake the very foundations of the sport. And that's why the NCAA simply cannot allow USC to go down. And don't think for a minute that Pete Carroll and Tim Floyd are not completely aware of this. They are milking this for all its worth.
If USC slips over the next few years, falls to mediocrity, don't be surprised if NCAA suddenly discovers violations, and quickly follows with sanctions. USC will be expendable then. But right now, there's just too much money on the table.
*This is a 'fluff piece' with no breaking news - merely a recounting of the first event with the 'Big Three' UM coaches in recent history.*
The UM Alumni Club of DC held a meet-and-greet with coaches Rodriguez, Beilein, and Berenson, as well as AD Bill Martin tonight. Matt Cavanaugh (I think - former drum major) and a guy who looked a lot like one of Beilein's assistants were also there, on the rooftop of a DC office building. Bill Martin said that this was the first time he knew of that all three coaches had met for an event outside of Ann Arbor. Kudos to the UMDC!
The evening started with an autograph session during which each coach was scattered around with throngs of people surrounding. The first humorous event of the evening was watching Bill Martin wander around with... fewer people, and at one point introducing himself to a confused little boy for someone to talk to. Rodriguez obviously had the longest line, but listening in on some of the conversations, the coaches were refreshingly honest and down-to-earth in their dealings with the fans.
The speeches started with Bill Martin, who said mostly boiler-plate stuff. He mentioned that both Beilein and Rodriguez were hired without ever setting foot in Ann Arbor; something I didn't know. It was really awkward/funny when he was talking about Carol Hutchins' softball team, and said, "boy, they have some real horses on that team!" Uhhhhhhhhhh, whatever you say, Bill! He blabbed a little about our success this year with the APR, how some other institutions in the B10 didn't, and how well the athletes are doing academically. Had a direct quote of "Don't ask me any questions." He introduced Red as the 'Dean of Coaches' at Michigan, and the guy that he uses as a mentor for all new coaches. Also told the story of Red scoring 6 goals in one game in the NHL. Also plugged the December 2010 hockey game at the Big House. Oh, and there are only 24 private suites still for sale btw. Oh, and Red has one hell of a championship ring. Wowsa.
Bill then introduced Beilein and mentioned that Beilein's team this past year had the biggest improvement in GPA of all varsity teams. No mention of practice facility. Mentioned the SI coaches survey that proclaimed Beilein as the most creative coach in the game. Also said he talked to Ben Howland recently and Ben told him that he would never want to play Beilein again in his lifetime. While Beilein was being introduced, he was pre-occupied with helping a child fix a chair:
A few moments later, the arm fell off again :) Beilein spoke a little of recruiting, and how his biggest recruiting success recently was keeping Sims and Harris on the team, which got a lot of applause. He fondly recounted the season, particularly Selection Sunday. Nothing else of much note but a very endearing speaker.
Then time for Martin to introduce Rodriguez. Like Beilein, stressed that his creativity, success at building programs, and doing a lot with a little are what most impressed Martin. In short, Rich Rodriguez is massively gifted at working a crowd in a 'down home' way. Snake Oil Salesman extraordinaire, to the max! I told my friend before he came onto the stage that I thought the over/under on "tickled to death"s should be set at around 8. To our dismay, there were NONE! However, the Lion King story about the monkey getting hit in the head or whatever made its standard-issue appearance. Aside from that, it was about 10 minutes of non-stop one-liners, self-deprication, and good-natured humor. When he first got the mic, said "when they told me that, after going 3-9, that I should come up to the top floor of a 20-story tall building to face 600 alums, I was pretty suspicious", and "I think I'll stand back here by this wall!" Mentioned that, even over a year later, West Virginia is still "pissed" at him. Said, "I should have murdered a family of 5 with an axe - I would've been less hated". Also, when responding to a question about his Twittering, said he isn't much of a technophile because "West Virginia just got cell phone coverage about a month ago," to which Beilein stole the mic and said, "see, he can get away with saying that stuff, but I never could!" Then Rodriguez said in response, "Hey! After the way I got sued, I owe 'em somethin in return." Much applause. Also, in response to questions about Detroit-area recruiting, said, "some may say that another school up north is doing better, but we actually get the recruits that we want." Zing! In response to questions about young quarterbacks, joked that he'll be taking many QB recruits every year because he never wants to be in the situation he was last year. Rich said that, on an academic front, that this year should break at least a 25-year record for the football team's average GPA. Also significant was his discussion of 'buying in' - he said, "last year, some people said that certain team members didn't buy in. That's not true - everyone bought in, but with questions. This year, they all know about the system and what they should be doing."
*Thanks to my friend Bonners for the photos.
All in all, this was a wonderful evening, attended by around 600 alums. Signed basketballs and footballs were auctioned, and all those proceeds, plus the ticket sales, went to the UMDC scholarship fund. The kid who won it this year was introduced. Again, thanks to the UMDC Alumni Club for organizing this. In the last year or two UMDC has become what I believe is a great club. For example, during the winter and early spring, we had 2 - 3 locations around DC reserved for members just to watch regular season basketball games! We even watched hockey *gasp*! Anyway, a great time, and 3 very impressive men. Plus one accomplished sailor :)