well that's just, like, your opinion, man
This is my first diary, and as that it is such, I wanted to bring something unique to the board. This topic is something very near and dear to my heart, and I think that you all will enjoy this segment. If the response is positive, I will try and make this a weekly diary. So without further ado I present MGoBlog with, "The Most Hideous Game of the Week."
Background: TMHGOTW was born on a sunny day in the Mosher-Jordan dormitory my freshman year at UMich, 2004. A few of my friends and I, who are all football fanatics, would browse the week's games to see which game was the least attractive, the game you couldn't watch without noticing the hideousness.
Criteria: The criteria for picking the most hideous game is very simple and subject to the interpretation of the watcher. It's pretty much a combination of anything your mind can conceive. The contrast of the teams' colors; the venue, the fans, the names, the distances traveled, the decisions the schools made in order to make the game possible, the assumed rivalry between the two schools (i.e. Maryland and NC State), the hideous hype surrounding a game that deserves none, the style of play of both teams, their overall records, the weather, the blandness of the schools, the hideousness of their academia, and pretty much anything else you want to include. (Maryland vs. NC State is the perennial most hideous game of the year)
Week One Line up and Explanations: I have looked through the week one schedule and will be putting some of my suggestions down below with an explanation as to why I feel the game is deserving. These are not in any particular order.
1. Cincy @ Rutgers: Nothing says college football like a MONDAY night matchup between these two BE heavyweights. This is a throwback to your grandfather's college football days as these two teams play without a single recognizeable player between them (save Witherspoon). The only thing more disgusting than the colors out on the field will be Rutger's style of play.
2. Northeastern @ BC: Ahhh the battle of the brand new Red Sox hats. This game is especially hideous to me because Boston is probably my least favorite city in the USA. There is something about the BC uniforms that make me nauseated, and I've always wondered if ND rejects are worse than the real thing.
3. Minnesota @ 'Cuse: What more needs to be said. The maroon and gold invade upstate New York to take on the puke Orange of the mighty 'Cuse. On one side, you have Tim Brewster who at any time is an 8 ball deep, against a resurgent 'Cuse program led by their new defensive mastermind, a Mr. Scott Shafer. The dome should be packed full of 40,000 people...leaving it half empty and ultimately...hideous.
4. Wofford @ South Florida: This game is hideous for a couple of reasons. The first and biggest being Jim Leavitt. I'm sorry Mr. Leavitt, but you are not a top tier football coach no matter how much you think you are. A real program has their own stadium and doesn't have to rent someone else's pirate ship. Someone please tell me that Matt Groeth-E is gone too, because I swear to God that E is silent and he has to be 37 years old at this point.
5. William and Mary @ UVA: My exgirlfriend went to UVA; don't really care for the skank anymore. All the panzies will be undoubtedly decked out in colors that even Andy Dick would be too straight to wear. The guys will be hammered from one too many memosas while the girls will be trying to warm up to their classmates named Hank Huckabee and Winston Riley Thornbull VIII.
Conclusion: So there you have it folks, a brief summary of my week 1 nominees. Please feel free to add your own below, and tell me why you feel that way.
Minor (rage) Edit: I forgot to mention one thing, and I apologize because it is the only rule...but one of the teams must be from a BCS conference.
We flash back to August 29, 2009. Rosenberg has a smug, sinister smile. He has finally done it. His article; “Michigan Program Broke Rules, Players Say” will surely end forever this thing that he hates most. We see the clips of the Rodriguez press conference and the pundits bashing Rich. Ahhhh, sweet satisfaction!
Then it starts going badly for Rosenberg. First, MGoBlog (and other bloggers) start to point out the holes in the story. Then, more and more sportscasters and writers start calling the article a “witch hunt” and a disgusting piece of writing.
Very shortly, the official investigation ends. The conclusion, “We have found no evidence that the University of Michigan violated any NCAA rules concerning allowable football related hours” was unequivocal.
Michigan finished 2009 better than many had expected and has continued to improve.
We return to present day.
“How could this happen?” Rosenberg agonizes. It’s bad enough that Rich Rodriguez is still the coach at Michigan. But, now this!?” What haunts Rosenberg most is that now it is universally agreed that his article in the Freep did what no one thought was possible. It brought the entire Michigan community (players, coaches, students, alumni, fans, faculty, and even the athletic department) to be “All In For Michigan”. That article, his article had become the critical catalyst in the success of the team.
Rosenberg knows he was the primary reason that the thing he hated most, the thing he tried to end in flames did not just survive but prospered beyond all expectations. All this in less than 4 short years.
Rosenberg takes a small key from his pocket and opens the bottom drawer of his desk. For a long time he just stares at the dark object it holds. Finally, he reaches down ……..
So, what was the headline and how does it end? I’ve written my ending (which I will post tomorrow) but I would like to hear how everyone else would end the episode.
EDIT (around 3:44 PM): As those who have answered figured out, everyone was supposed to come up with unusual endings. If anyone remembers the Twilight Zone, nothing was ever what it appeared to be.
EDIT; The Ending
Finally he reaches down, closes and locks the drawer, and returns the key to his pocket.
We flash forward about 8 months. It is a glorious fall day. Rosenberg is pushing around a shopping cart collecting bottles and cans to pay for his next bottle of cheap wine. He is in a parking lot filled with thousands of cars. All around him people are laughing, eating, drinking, and having the time of their lives.
In the background is the most beautiful football stadium on the planet. There is a huge banner hanging from the top of the stadium which replicates the front page headline: "Michigan (13-0) National Champions"
Note: Craig Roh's father posted this on the Scout free board. It will eventually fall down the memory hole if not reproduced somewhere more permanent, so I've placed it here. HT: Other Brian of Genuinely Sarcastic.
I am Craig Roh's dad and had the pleasure of experiencing first-hand the recruiting process and first summer with the UM program. I feel obligated to share with readers concrete evidence of the integrity and compliance of the Rich Rod program and staff. My son chose UM because it is one of the few schools in the country that has great football AND academics. He could have gone to UCLA, Cal, Stanford, USC..all great academic schools and he chose Michigan because it had the best of both.
He also selected UM because of the intensity and straight talk of the coaching staff. The first person he met was Mike Barwis. After spending an hour with Barwis, Craig turned to me and said, "He will make me the best I can be. That's what I want." When he met Rich Rod, he was further impressed with his openness and vision. Craig came here BECAUSE of the work ethic that was to be required of him. He WANTS to be pushed to the limits, not coddled and pampered.
He was recruited by Tony Dews. I am here to say that Coach Dews complied with every letter of the rules throughout the entire recruitment process, even the ones that seem senseless. He would not even give me a ride to lunch or pick up a $5 lunch tab because it was against the rules. He informed us of the recruiting rules over and over again. As I watched 35 schools recruit my son, I would put Michigan at the top of the integrity scale when it came to recruiting.
Let's talk about Craig's first summer. Again, Coach Dews made it abundantly clear what we had to pay for and what the school was allowed to pay for, what our responsibilities were and what the school's were. I was tired of hearing about all the rules. It was like dealing with the IRS. There was NO push to report to school early, in fact we were told that if Craig wanted to report to summer school early, it was on his dime and totally voluntary. Craig's summer was very balanced. He VOLUNTARILY asked to watch tape as much as he could. Nobody pushed him to do it or even suggested it. He had more free time than he wanted.
Lastly, I know for a fact that Craig missed workouts in the summer and even missed parts of at least three practices at camp so that he could attend class. He was excused with absolutely no repercussions by the coaching staff.
I am assuming that players who choose to come to UM under Rich Rod are coming here BECAUSE its hard. They want to become the best. They want to be pushed. They want great academics and great football environment. I detest the accusations made by the Freep. They think they are doing these kids a favor by easing up the workload and, in reality, they are undermining the very reason the kids chose UM!
But, for further understanding, use Michigan's own website. Apparently John Beilein is a big fan of football and considers himself a coach of football as well when he states "Mike Barwis' unique concepts and approach to strength training for basketball has been paramount to our success over the past 5-6 years." (http://www.mgoblue.com/football/article.aspx?id=111612) Stupid West Virginia people and their misunderstandings.
Delving a wee bit further, perhaps these stupid people coded Michigan's various websites when they, as previously noted, showed Barwis and crew to be the overseeing S&C body for Schembechler Hall. Schembechler Hall is not too open, however. It's open to specific sports. Just football? Nope. Football, men's basketball, men's hockey, men's and women's golf, and wrestling. Could Barwis be just working in a corner while wrestlers work with their own coach or, perhaps, does he work closely enough with these similar athletes, in the same building, with no Googleable staff, that he would train and assist athletes enough that he forced a "300-pound Mountaineer heavyweight to -- in MMA terms -- 'tap out.'" (http://www.cbssports.com/collegefootball/story/10900421) Oh. According to MGoBlue, "his assistants handle ice hockey, softball, wrestling and men's soccer. He oversees a staff that includes seven full-time assistants, one part-time assistant and 10 interns." (http://www.mgoblue.com/football/coachbio.aspx?id=105308) As such, they're allowed to help their specific sports single-handedly but by being their boss, Barwis is barred from being considered department-wide... how?
Supporting this notion, by the way, is the fact that S&C coach Jon Sanderson was hired to oversee conditioning for basketball and Olympic sports (http://www.mgoblue.com/basketball-m/article.aspx?id=180836). This would demonstrate coaches of big Division One programs oversee more than one sport. The final proving factor is that Jim Plocki is the strength and conditioning coach for the hockey program (http://www.mgoblue.com/football/page.aspx?id=28884). As his boss, Barwis would also be responsible for the hockey program. More than one department. What many seem to miss, when arguing this point, is that the football team exclusively trains at Schembechler Hall. During off-season, non-mandatory workouts, Barwis and staff, should they be seen exclusively as football s&c coaches and, through stupid interpretation, not be allowed to be there, would have to vacate the premises or stay in their offices, perhaps only coming out for a drink of water or to put NCAA-sanctioned horse blinders on so as to not see Robinson working out while helping a walk-on women's golf member on her squats.
Thus, at worst, the definition of department-wide applies to strength and conditioning coaches for all of a school's sports. This would be impossible for Michigan as they have sport-specific S&C coaches and no general S&C administrators. And no, the trainers are NOT the equivalent. At best, the NCAA's rule applies to the "football department" and implies that the S&C coach set aside to work for offensive lineman cannot regularly handle voluntary workouts where, surprise surprise, the offensive lineman "happen" to be showing up. Bestest case, this is all stupid research and the point is to not have someone who answers to a specific position coach not there as a proxy.
Sharp went on Dan Patrick to talk about...well...stuff. Besides the typical anti-Michigan BS (like calling quality control grad assistants assistant coaches) I think there was something significant in there that shouldn't be glossed over.
He said that the "current players" in the article were the two freshmen answering questions at Media Day. He then suggested that the other four people who tattled on the program were former players and could very well have an axe to grind.
Dan Patrick: Current players turned on RRod. What's that all about?
Sharp: Well the Free Press talked to a couple freshmen at media day. They gave an honest answer - that's what work days are like. They were surprised how long it was. Now there are some former players, who knows if they have an axe to grind, but it doesn't preclude the very real possibility that these guys are telling the truth...hard to believe all these guys are lying.
In other words it seems like this isn't a case where anti-RRod people currently on the team are going to the media to damage his reputation.
Now why the article said their "sources" had to speak on condition of anonymity due to repercussions from coaches is definitely an unresolved issue. Perhaps they feared their current coaches on whatever crappy teams they play for would punish them?
Audio can be found at: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/danpatrick/blog/75663/index.html
Please share your interpretations.