Diaries

When I see tomorrow's college football schedule as it pertains to the Big 10 conference, I cant help but flashback to the second week of the 2005 season.  That might have been the last time the conference was given any street cred by the college football fashionistas. Recall, the league had three teams--Ohio State, Michigan and Iowa--all ranked in the top 10, and, if you can believe it, there were many whispers that the Big 10 was biggest and baddest group in the land. That day all three heavyweights faced critical tests against brand names and bigtime rivals.

It was supposed to be a day of statements for the Big 10. Instead, the league spent the day telling everyone that the preseason hype was as fake as a Lou Holtz pep talk.  Third-ranked Michigan listed their way through their match with Notre Dame, stumbling around like a Dave Wannstedt coached team in the red zone in a 17-10 loss. Iowa netted just a field goal in a 20-point beatdown in Ames against Iowa State. And, Ohio State, at home, did not have the fourth quarter chops to beat Texas, in a ballyhooed showdown that seemed to have had about ten times more the offseason hype than tomorrow's game with the Trojans does. The day began with the Big 10 owning the college football world. By the end, the Emperor had no clothes and the league proved itself a fraud, nothing more than a summer preview magazine creation.

The league has not been the same since. And, rather than securing its footing in the college football world, the conference has seen its stock continue to plummet since that late summer day of football four years ago. Sure, Michigan and Ohio State teased us with thrilling 2006 seasons leading to a #1 vs #2 matchup in The Game, but both teams were steamrolled in their BCS Bowl games, again bringing out the cries of fraud and mockery. We know whats happened since.  Just about every outcome of the last two football seasons has further buried midwestern college football.

Michigan losses to an FCS school and then has their worst season in decades the following year. Ohio State keeps getting pantsed on the biggest stage. Iowa loses it mojo. Wisconsin hires Brett Bielema. Purdue's basketball on grass is figured out over night. Minnesota is no longer a darkhorse team with a stable of NFL ready tailbacks. Penn State has has been resurgent during this time, but they dont have a single OOC win that resonates among the masses and were completely outclassed in last season's Rose Bowl by USC. Michigan State has had two nice seasons in a row, but have lost to ACC and SEC teams in bowl games, looking like a stodgy, archaic Big 10 in the process. I think you get the picture.

I bring this up because this weekend's slate looks strikingling similar to that 2005 docket. Not only are the rivalries between Iowa and Iowa State and Michigan and Notre Dame renewed, but the Buckeyes are hosting a premier team, this time USC, under the lights at the Shoe. Unlike 2005, there are several other games on the docket important to the Big 10. Four years ago, the Big 10 was the top dog heading into a showdown weekend. Today, they're a weak link in a strong college football landscape. Saturday, the Big 10 has a chance to take a big step up the ladder in the climb back to respectively. If things break right, the Sunday morning storyline could be about a Big 10 Renaissance. Of course, league teams could again take the gas pipe, the conference will continue to take public perception hits and there will be viable discussion about the Mountain West Conference surpassing it.

Which way will it go? 50/50.  I do hope, however, that the alley cat  return of Big 10 picks is better than a 50/50 proposition.

First, two caveats: I am not playing all these games. If you'd like to see my card for the day, stroll over to the JCB as I'll have the card up by 9 tomorrow morning. And, as always, blindly following my picks can be hazardous to your wallet. Here goes:

 Iowa State +7 vs Iowa (noon, FSN) Ames has become Waterloo for the Iowa Hawkeyes with the with four losses in five game at ISU, avering just 16 points per game in those contests and topping the 14-point mark just once.  Iowa did not look good in last week's near miss against Northern Iowa. The culprit, as I saw it, was an offensive line, expected to be a major strength, that played poorly. Combined with the Hawks lack of a big time tailback the running game, this led to enough choppy offensive football to allow the Panthers to hang around. The line has been wrecked by injuries and suspension, but some of that was supposed to get ironed out this week. Think again. The news got worse for the Hawks up front with the announcement that Bryan Bugala has been felled with an illness and has been ruled out tomorrow. The prospects of more offensive line shuffling do not sound good. The Hawks are going to be what we saw last weekend all season until they get things ironed out up front. Also: the Cyclones are 10-1 ATS in this series. I have to ride those numbers.

Central Michigan +14.5 at Michigan State (noon BTN). This is not so much a pick against MSU as it is a pick on CMU. I have believed in this CHIPS! team for the last several years. And while they excell much better against the number in league games, than when they step out of conference, I like their chances of hanging with their, uh, big brother in East Lansing. I was impressed with CMU's defensive effort next week. When they have the ball, Central will face an easier defense in the Spartans than they did with Arizona last week.  I dont think the Spartans lose, but I'll take CMU and LeFevour catching a two TD head start against most of the Big 10.

Fresno State +8 at Wisconsin (noon ESPN). The Great Fu Manchu arrives in Madison for another stop on his 'anyone, anytime, anywhere' tour. You cant say Fresno State is not afraid of challenges and September college football this decade has been marked in part by Pat Hill's Bulldogs taking on and scaring the hives out of bigger named foes.  I am not sold on what Wisconsin is doing with their lineup right now. I cant shake the feeling that Bielema would have been better off going with Curt Phillips at QB. It took half a season for him to realize who his best QB was last year, and it looks like the same thing might happen this year. And, I know limiting Jon Clay's touches by making him second string means you're putting a less talented team on the field.  I am fascinated to see how these decisions play out tomorrow against a real live team thats going to come at them with as much speed and talent as they have. Here is the killer number to keep in mind: In his Fresno State career, Pat Hill is 20-6-1 ATS as underdogs against BCS conference foes.

Michigan +3 at Notre Dame (3:30 ABC).  The underdog in this series is 20-5 ATS. I'm interested and I'm already in. The dog is also 12-12-1 straight up, so the history in this series says the team catching points is as likely to win the game as the favorite. Speaking of the Wolverines, I dont think any other team in the country saw odds shift as much in their favor based on opening week. Consider the line movements trending towards the Wolverines in their games later this year against Illinois and Ohio State. Michigan was catching a full touchdown against both teams, but the impressive Michigan win and poor performances by the Illini and the Bucks caused a significant line drop. Michigan is just +3 at Illinois and +4 against Ohio State as of this morning. If they put another good performance in the books tomorrow, I wonder if those lines will move again?

Northwestern -21 vs Eastern Michigan (noon BTN). Obviously Ron Jonathon English will have his team looking ahead to his return next week to Michigan Stadium. More than likely, its Northwestern's defense, which you can make a case is one of the top three in the Big 10, will shut the Eagles down cold. They could barely score against Army. They wont reach double digits against the Cats as Northwestern rolls to its largest margin of victory of the season. We've proved that English's defenses struggle against mobile QBs, right? Kafka for NW is going to have a big day running the QB keepers.

Minnesota -3 over Air Force (7:00, BTN).  I expect the Gophers to come out on fire in the opener for their brand new stadium.  I like the overall talent Minnesota has in spots of its roster. I just wish Tim Brewster was known more for his coaching than tweeting. Dont look to much into the Gophers struggles against the Cuse. At least they won. But past bowl teams from West Virginia and Virginia have struggled in recent season openers at the Carrier Dome against eventually awful Orange teams and still had enough to rally for good seasons. Its a tricky place to play, especially early in the year when the Orange haven ot been totally demoralized by a long losing streak. This game will be close and entertaining, but I like the Gophers to win by at least a touchdown. Expect this game to be turned by the opportunistic Gopher defense creating a pair of momentum changing turnovers.

Penn State -28 over Syracuse (noon, BTN). Big step up for Syracuse in their second game. Playing at home against Minnesota is the opposite of playing Joe Pa's boys in Happy Valley. Greg Paulus will learn that tomorrow. There is a chance he can exploit the green PSU secondary, but I dont think he'll have any time to set up back in the pocket. Sometime in the third quarter, he will be planted by Navarro Bowman and come up begging for a charging call. Last week against the Zips, the Lions closed it down at the half. I expect them to jump out to another big early lead, but in the Game Two, Paterno will let them stretch their legs more in the second half. This will be a rout.  Penn State is 14-9 ATS as a home favorite, 8-3 against non conference foes. They didn't cover in either role last week. Its called playing the percentages, Strawberry.

Indiana -1 over Western Michigan (noon, BTN). Here it is, the one time of the year I blindly take my Alma Mater without putting any thought into it. Neither club looked great last week. While WMU QB Tim Hiller wont be facing the speed and athletes he saw last week in Ann Arbor, the Hoosiers do bring a good pash rush and enough secondary playmakers to give Hiller and the Broncos the same type of fits. I also think this Pistol offense will break out a bit more in their second go around of the season. Dont you have to take the Big 10 team at home against a MAC team in a pick 'em game? Thats what I keep telling myself, anyway.

Purdue +13 over Oregon (10:15 FSN). I'm not sure the Ducks have the defense, especially in the back four, to trust laying a baker's dozen of points in chalk to anyone. And this anyone is the Boilermakers, who looked very good on offense last week and played the Ducks into overtime one year ago. I think some of that momentum can carry over. I'd think about the Over in this one, that is if I hadnt sworn off totals in the offseason. Want proof that I find a stat anywhere to support my play? The Ducks are 1-5 ATS as home favorites against a team playing with revenge of a straight up, against the spread win. Want proof that I can torpedo any stat the goes against my play? Even though Oregon has covered their last four home openers, the last time they didn't is when a second rate Big 1o came to town and the Ducks slept walked through the whole affair. That was in 2004 when Indiana remarkably took the Ducks down 30-24. And if you guessed that I only brought that up to highlight one of the five great moments of IU football in the last 20 years in a paragraph about Purdue, then what can I say? You know me well.

USC -7 over Ohio State (8:00, ESPN).  I honestly cant believe I am not taking Ohio State in their own house with a touchdown headstart. In fact, I'm not. I am hiding this pick within the prose in hopes those goons I hired to beat me down if I ever picked against USC dont see it. Barkley will struggle on this stage and I think a strong possiblity exists that this game plays out a bit like the 2006 Texas game when the Bucks, on the road, stymied redshirt freshmen Colt McCoy in his first big game start. Here's why I am taking this chance: The line was -3 all summer, but leapt to -7 when it re-opened Sunday, in large part because of public reaction to Ohio State's close call against Navy. When it comes to football games, I just dont trust the volatile sways of the public opinion. Not even when it looks obvious. Or when the hired muscle men are wearing brass knuckles. But make no mistake: I'm not putting a single dollar or cent on it.

…or, A Call to Arms for All Chicagoland U-M Alumni (and Fans)

[Warning: this is long. But adequately documenting a gross injustice is rarely trivial. It’s also intended to be somewhat amusing (and dry, and perhaps even infuriating), so please consume appropriately.]

With all of the ND-bashing going on around here, there may never be a better opportunity to pile on with my own ND-related gripe (strike while the iron is hot, and all). And who knows, maybe this could be the start of a glorious grassroots effort by Chicagoland-based MGoBlogFaithful to right yet another ND-inspired wrong (one can dream). As if the NBC contract weren’t insulting enough. Read on.

I lived in MD for 12 years, where the DC chapter of the U-M Alumni Club has smartly taken the opportunity to have U-M alumni specialty license plates fashioned for MD (and I believe they were attempting to do the same for VA). This is clearly allowed under MD Motor Vehicle Administration policy (pretty much any school can do it), and I was thrilled to have such a plate for six years.

Upon moving to IL and faced with the prospect of new plates, I naturally wanted to know if a U-M alumni plate was available. Chicago is closer in proximity to U-M than MD (and has a large/established alumni chapter and base) and I’d seen a number of Fighting Illini plates around (among others), so I figured my chances were good.

If only it were that simple.

My initial visit to the Secretary of State’s website made it apparent that collegiate specialty plates available in IL were limited to state institutions. At the time (April 2008), all of the plates on the page were in-state schools. I was bummed, but all was not lost. If there was a policy/law that provided for the creation of collegiate plates, due diligence would require verification that it specifically excludes out-state schools. So I continued my research.

Before locating the state law that provides for the creation of collegiate plates, I discovered that ND (in South Bend, IN, for the geographically disinclined) had very recently been approved for collegiate plates in IL. This was an encouraging sign! Perhaps ND was blazing a trail that U-M could follow, being the first out-state schools to have collegiate plates in IL. I was invigorated! And there was NO way that ND was going to be the only out-state school to have a collegiate plate! They’re only the second winningest football program!

Sec. 3-629(b) of Illinois General Assembly Public Act 095-0444 states:

The design, color, and format of the plates shall be wholly within the discretion of the Secretary of State. The Secretary of State may, at his or her discretion, issue the plates for any public college or university located in this State or for any degree-granting, not-for-profit private college or university located in this State or a contiguous state. If the college or university is located in a contiguous state, there must be not less than 10,000 alumni of the college or university residing in this State.

I call your attention to the underlined passages – underlined in the Act itself – which signify changes that were adopted in August 2007. Prior to the revision, the law only allowed plates for in-state public or private institutions. But the revision effectively allows plates for…we’ll get to that in a minute.

Problem is, I got excited, went off half-cocked, and overlooked the “private” criterion. Does U-M have 10,000 alumni in the state? Easily (confirmed by the Alumni Association). Is U-M located in a contiguous state? That begs some interpretation. Definition? Definition:

1. touching; in contact.
2. in close proximity without actually touching; near.

Michigan doesn’t meet #1, but certainly meets #2. I initially argued that the two states are separated only by a useless swath of IN (“Da Region!") and are therefore “near.” But a friend noted that the two states are only separated by a lake, necessitating a border. I was concerned about bureaucratic resistance to this interpretation, so I e-mailed and called the SoS to discuss. After checking with the legal-types in his department, the polite gentleman from the plate division still wasn’t sure how that would go. Then he dropped the bombshell (paraquote):

“This is known [around here] as the ‘Notre Dame law.’”

Excuse me? Shock turned to confusion, which later yielded to outrage. I wish I could tell you that my first thought was, “our politicians don’t have more important matters to attend to?” Sadly, that didn’t arrive until later.

The nice gentleman proceeded to explain how the law was effectively amended for the sole purpose of allowing ND to be the only out-state school to have a collegiate license plate in IL. Re-reading the law, the critical placement of “private” then became clear to me.

Who, as I understand it, pushed the law through the state legislature? None other than the Speaker of the Illinois House, Michael J. Madigan, an esteemed graduate of the University of Notre Dame.

(I would say that now I’ve seen it all, but that would be patently untrue.)

I was dejected, but I refused to be defeated so easily and in such an underhanded fashion. Since that time, I’ve scoured the IL General Assembly website (on three occaions) to identify State Senators and Representatives who are graduates of our beloved U-M, in hopes that a modest letter-writing campaign would persuade them to eventually pursue a similarly covert change to the law that would open a loophole for a U-M alumni plate. I can’t say that such a change wouldn’t open the door for other out-state schools, but the 10,000-resident alumni requirement should effectively limit them to a handful, at most (and likely Big Ten schools).

So I floated this crusade-like idea, without as much detail or direction, to the Chicago alumni chapter leadership, and the response was "Good luck, let us know how it goes!" Needless to say, one letter isn't likely to have much effect.

Friends, I haven’t yet continued the fight, but I haven’t given up hope. Perhaps my account of this injustice, along with the renewed interest in a nationally-relevant UM-ND rivalry, will serve as a call to action for my fellow IL-based alumni. If you feel so inclined (and can envision the pride-swell of having your own U-M license plate), please consider writing a letter to one or both of the following “Blue” state reps, encouraging them to consider introducing legislation to appropriately modify Public Act 095-0444 and allow for a U-M collegiate license plate:

Rep. John A. Fritchey (B.A., economics, U-M)
Sen. Elaine Nekritz (J.D., U-M)

(I would encourage non-Illinoisians (?) to write, but I suspect letters from non-residents don’t carry as much weight with legislators.)

Other suggestions are, of course, welcomed.

(And please, spare me any pessimistic, douchey “you’re silly if you think this’ll really work, like an e-mail petition to get Rosenberg fired” comments. I say to that: The Speaker of the Illinois House didn’t think it was all that silly. Nevertheless, I’m realistic about the prospect of success.)

Go Blue! Crush the Irish!

Well M fans, it's that time of year again. An army of rowdy, religious zealots is set to invade Ann Arbor, and hopefully, this time, they won't leave behind a law school!

That's right, it's Fightin' Irish week! Perennial national power Notre Dame comes to town along with their genius coach Charlie Weiss to take on the Big Blue.

M Passing Offense vs. ND Passing Defense
Ryan "Tate" Mallett and Donelle "The Shoe" Robson maybe the talk of the town, but give me the poise and gritty determination of veteran Nick Sheridan any day. Maybe if he comes up with a clever nickname for himself, he'll start getting more buzz!
Edge: Michigan

M Rushing Offense vs. ND Rushing Defense
Jon Tenuta may not really be Catholic, but that won't stop him from looking the other way while his players attempt to molest, fondle, and castrate our runners!
Edge: Michigan

ND Passing Offense vs. M Passing Defense
Jimmy Clausen will look to hook up with targets Golden Taint and Michael Floyd all afternoon. Expect the All American QB, who is chasing his record third Heisman in a row, to have a big day.
Edge: Michigan

ND Rushing Offense vs. M Rushing Defense
Mike "Mike Martin" Rechsteiner is thus far doing an excellent job living up to the legacy left on campus by older brothers Rick and Scott. Expect him to execute a few signature Frankensteiners on Clausen this week!
Edge: Michigan

Prediction
You'll see a lot of pasty faced, flat chested women around town. But don't worry, they'll all be gone by Saturday Night! 38-0 Michigan!

PS - Domers, fear not. If you're planning on making the trip to Ann Arbor (A2 as we call it!) you'll be welcome with open arms! Just be sure to stop by Blimpy Hamburger (where the motto is "Cheaper Than Food"!?!) and a little, out of the way gem known around here as Briarwood Mall. The cookies at local favorite Mrs. Fields are just wild!

This is Trojan Football Analysis and the text from a Carroll talk at what seems to be a coach's clinic. (http://www.trojanfootballanalysis.com/wp/wordpress/?p=1066)
I thought this was the most appropriate since we are playing ND this weekend. It gives you an idea for the keys and rotation. There is considerable discussion for blitzes as well with a jump to the original story. [Emphasis mine]

Mod Edit: Click on the link if you want to read the full description of the plays as they are more interesting. Also, note: don't copy and paste full articles. Everything that's not a quote from here down is in place by the moderator, emphasis still his.

"This is a stop the run first type of defense.  We want to outnumber the offense to either side of the ball.  [...] The open side of the alignment is the flex side and the tight end side is the strong or solid side. [...]

The defense is the under/flex package used to outnumber the defense on each side of the ball by loading one side with linebackers while the other side gets safety support.

The Mike Linebacker plays the first back out of the back field to the strong side.  The Free Safety plays the first back out of the back field to the weak side.  [...]  If we get a full flow by the backs to the strong side the Mike linebacker takes the first back and the Will linebacker takes the second back out of the backfield.  [...]

Obviously the middle/mike is the first to the play, so he'll most likely be met with the blocking back who comes out first. This seems pretty obvious.

If it is a full flow weak side play the Free Safety has the first back and the Will linebacker has the second man to the weak side.  [...]

In this case, the FS has the first blocker. Less plays are run to the weak side, which is why the defense is willing to risk the FS being the first attacker rather than a LB who can fight of a block easier and still make a tackle.

If the offense comes out in a different look such as a Twins look to one side, the basic core of the defense stays the same. 

So it's easy to stay in base. Huzzah! Thus concludes this moderators attempt to show you how to quote articles.

This is Trojan Football Analysis and the text from a Carroll talk at what seems to be a coach's clinic. (http://www.trojanfootballanalysis.com/wp/wordpress/?p=1066)
It is very long and interesting to listen to him discuss base philosophy which is where you draw the parallel to GERG. What was most useful was the types of players needed by position and how they rotate by base set. Is it exact? No, but I found it a good proxy for our team. I don't have a similar detailed talk from GERG to refer to. This is so long I split it into two diaries depending on topic.

Mod Edit: Again with copy/paste. I thought both of these were great links, but you (collective) can't just rip their whole article here. Anything not in quotes from here down was moderator, not OP'er.

"Before we go any further, let’s talk about personnel.  You want to get your best players on the field.  The open side Defensive End has to be one of your best football players.  Size does not matter as much.  We want an athletic player who can move around.

That's just on example, but they go through the entire defense in the article, but they do a quick specialization at the end about secondary play.

If you have a million reads for your secondary you are crazy.  They don’t need that even at our level.  All they need to know is their primary responsibility and then secondary.  At the highest level in the NFL the pass game is as complex as you can imagine.  However if a defender can play the post and the seam route then they can learn to play at that level. The thing that kills and breaks down a defense is a ball being thrown over the defender’s head for a touchdown.

There's more where that came from, and I highly promote checking that article out (link at top).

I wanted to thank everyone for their input on this post.....it was freakin hilarious.  I went ahead and consolidated everything, and this is my first diary post....so bare with me on the formatting b/c I will be fixing it in a "trial and error" method.  Any suggestions on enhancing this list will be appreciated.

1  Touchdown Jesus
2  Because The University of Michigan is better than Notre Dame. End of story
3  They have an Irish Mascot but their name is French. WTF?
4  Because Notre Dame made some Michigan fan make this horrible website.
5  Phantom PI calls.
6  The fact that they claim God is on their side when most of their best players aren't even Catholic.
7  Urban Meyer!!!! Jon Gruden!!!! BEST JOB EVAAA
8  Stealing perfectly good/talented prospects and turning them into underachieving sallys.
9  Those shitty slash marks that they paint in the endzone...
10  Brady Quinn's hot sister marrying a buckeye


11  How about 2005 Henne-sneak touchdown that was somehow missed while a 5yard random penalty on ND was called, then Henne fumbled the next sneak.
12  South Bend is the undeserved home of the College Football Hall of Fame
13  Because Hawaii should not be used to go over .500.
14  Hogging the use of 'return to glory' for like a decade and not allowing a more deserving team to use it.
15  No Excuses
16  They got their uniforms from Navy
17  Bud Light: Real Men of Genius - Hopeless Notre Dame Fan
19  Pedophilic priests
20  Lack of conference and a TV contract big enough to feed their coach
21  "The most underrated coach in America..."
22  Potato famine...too soon?
23  Is "golden" a first name?
24  Firing Ty Willingham for going 21-15 over 3 seasons but keeping Charlie Weis despite going 29-21 over 4 seasons and claiming race has nothing to do with it.
25  Games against Michigan could go either way, but they find a way to lose to [TEAM REDACTED] every year

26   

27  The Grotto
28  Because I can't eat Lucky Charms for breakfast the week of the UM-ND game.

29  The fact that the Fighting Illini are insulting to Native Americans, but the Fighting Irish are totally cool.
30  I had to drive through South Bend once in 1995 and I still can't believe what a crap-hole that place is.
31  the 'icy hot stuntaz' have yet to give membership to Jimmay.
32  They don't play night games, oh wait..
33  That ND dude who hangs out here and adds thoughtful comments to every thread, especially ones that have nothing to do with ND.
34  They keep all their money while everyone else splits
35  Their refusal to install video screens in their stadium. Also, my vainglorious strumpet of an ex was a ND fan. Enough said.
36  Joe Theismann
37  They grew their field out to try to slow down Reggie Bush. Worked real well.
38  That they really think their players trend more towards the student in student-athlete than all other D1 schools.

39 

40  Captain Front-Butt
41  Wanna see my Super Bowl ring?
42  the fact that the most impressive win of "genius coach" Charlie Weis' career is a loss to USC.
43  the fact that they actually thought there were two crutches in the universe able to support Weis.
44  Ron Powlus on the Sports Illustrated cover.
45  Their neverending television contract with NBC.  Notre (Dame) Broadcasting Company.
46  Regardless of your political views, this event seemed to piss everyone off in some capacity:


47  They're not even the best Catholic football school
48  They got rid of O'Leary
49  they think their fight song is better than ours...idiots
50  Because of 38-0... er wait that's not right...

51 


52  My deep, deep seeded catholic guilt.

53 

54  Brady quinn, and all of the strange feelings I have when I see him stretch with his shirt off.
55  Nicholas Sparks
56  Automagic BCS bid if they win 9 games.

57 

58  Because they get a free pass to the BCS after getting blown out by the two teams they play that have a pulse.
59  Because their fans threw snowballs at their own players after losing to Syracuse.
60  because of the "you are. state school" chant
61  Because they need a sign to tell them to "Play like a champion today"
62  Jeff Samardzija
63  Because Fielding Yost thought Knute Rockne was a freakin' prick.
64  Reggie Ho
65  Leprechauns are creepy
66  Because they refuse to join the Big 10.
67  God's team? Pleeeaaaase! I talked to God this morning. He told me He really doesn't have a team (and He got permission from Bo to say so).
68  South Bend
69  My wife likes them. Enough said.
70  some of their fans identify as Ohio State fans too.
71  B/c Michigan had to go down there to "teach" them how to play football around the turn of the century
72  "Did you know Tom Zbikowski is also a boxer?!?"
73  B/c they build their stadium w/ the blueprints of Michigan Stadium
74  because of the Inquisition.
75  The theme song makes babies cry. It really does. I saw it the other night. Twice.
76  Having to hear "Return to Glory" every single season
77  All of Powlus' Heismans
78  Beano Cook
79  decided schematic advantage
80  Stupid green jerseys.
81  ND people telling you "Good Notre Dame football is good for college football" as if you give a shit.
82  Jimmah Clausen's stretch Hummer
83  Their mascot
84  Jerome "The Bus" Bettis
85  Pat Haden and Tom Hammond.
86  NBC
87  That's what losers do
88  Was apparently on the glee club with my grandfather back in their days. Back when my grandfather remembered such things, he said he was a total dick.
89  regis philbin....
90  Brady Quinn
91  The lady i sit next to at work this morning, "did you see those irish!?", who is unable to name a single player on the team.
92  "To Hell with Michigan!"
93  Rudy sold his own story to Disney. Knowing that the movie was his own idea makes the movie even worse.
94  Lou Holtz
95  Rudy was offside.
96  Charlie Weis...he takes up a large chunk of the list.
97  because Rudy didn't die at the end of the movie.  Or did he? Never fucking saw it and don't care.
98  2002 phantom touchdown
99  The Rocket
100  They apparently have to rely on luck
101  the fact that their colors are blue and gold, but their fans wear GREEN.
102  Jeff Jackson
103  The Golden Dome
104  The Notre Dame Victory March
105  Because no one has nicknamed Weis "The humpbacked Whale of Notre Dame".