I'VE HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOU SONNY
The 2010 Michigan Football roster has been released. As with last year, I just happened to be on MGoBlue.com, mid-Diary, when it was put up. Either this is an amazing coincidence, or I spend way too much time making MGoDiaries.
If you're anything like me, you like to sit around imaging incoming freshman in their proper numbers becoming awesome (or just have a worrisome obsession with numeric accuracy in your NCAA dynasties). As you imagine the Class of 2010 winning Big Ten Championships and Heisman Trophies, and wrecking people wearing scarlet shirts with gray hats covered in bird poop, may your imaginations now reflect accurate jersey numerals.
|24||Cullen Christian||CB||6'0||187||Wore 24 in HS|
Teric Jones is listed at safety, which, okay, a 5'9 converted tailback to cornerback is now at safety when cornerback depth is – we know this – terrifying. That just made me so much more comfortable with safety. Actually, it did.
Moundros is listed as "FB/LB" – he will try to earn a linebacker spot in Fall. If he makes it, expect to not see a fullback very much next year (RR at WVa. used to use walk-ons here but only one other guy, junior John McColgan, is listed at FB).
Justin Turner is listed at 6'2, 198, and a cornerback. He is also a redshirt freshman, by the way, for those ready to yell "bust" or demand a position switch.
Brandin Hawthorne, a linebacker before, is listed at Safety. I believe he is on the depth chart for Steve Brown's old position, the "Meat Raw" or "Spur" or "Spinner" or "Deathbacking Deathbacker of Dealt Doom" spot, since other guys mentioned this spring at Spinner were Thomas "Prison Abs" Gordon and Mike Williams, both listed as "S."
Ricardo Miller, as we learned in Spring Ball, got 82. Prediction based on zero evidence other than pixie dust and dreams: those digits eventually work their way down to a much smaller number.
In case one being 6'3, 248 and the other being 5'11, 171, isn't enough to tell Terry Talbott from Terrence Talbott, the elder/larger/DT one is 96, the younger/more slender/CB one is 22.
Six of the 33 walk-ons (not including Kovacs) are safeties. These include Zac Johnson, Jordan Reilly, Floyd Simmons, Matthew Cavanaugh, Jared Van Slyke and Karl Tech. The scholarship safeties are Cam Gordon, Vlad Emilien, Brandin Hawthorne, Thomas Gordon, Teric Jones, Carvin Johnson, Marvin Robinson, Josh Furman, Ray Vinopal, Jordan Kovacs and Mike Williams. That's four linebackers, a converted RB/CB, four true freshmen, a former walk-on, and a terror.
Also on Ware's profile is a link to a contest to win a Michigan-painted Deuce Coupe at the MSU game for buying $X worth of Adidas gift cards. If anyone wins this, can I have it?
Former preferred walk-on QB Nader Furrha wasn't on the roster. Is he done? His bro's still around.
Michigan will face Clemson, who they defeated in the 2009 NCAA Tournament, on Tuesday, November 30th at 9pm on ESPN2. Full press release:
Monday, November 29
Virginia at Minnesota - 7pm ET on ESPN2
Tuesday, November 30
Iowa at Wake Forest – 7 p.m. ET on ESPNU
Georgia Tech at Northwestern – 7 p.m. ET on ESPN2
Ohio State at Florida State - 7:30 p.m. ET on ESPN
Michigan at Clemson – 9 p.m. ET on ESPN2
North Carolina at Illinois - 9:30 p.m. ET on ESPN
Wednesday, December 1
Indiana at Boston College - 7:15 p.m. ET on ESPNU
NC State at Wisconsin - 7:15 p.m. ET on ESPN2
Purdue at Virginia Tech - 7:30 p.m. ET on ESPN
Maryland at Penn State - 9:15 p.m. ET on ESPN2
Michigan State at Duke - 9:30 p.m. ET on ESPN
5'9", 155 lbs.
Cape Coral, Florida
Prince is an athlete fit for Rich Rodriguez' system, and could fill a spot as a slot in the offense very nicely. Holloway is from Florida, but says he has no problem with distance. As for what schools stand out to him right now, he had this to say:
There's still some other schools I'm looking at, but West Virginia and Michigan are the top two schools right now. I'll most likely take an official visit to Michigan, I'm just not sure when.
I don't think he'll have a good grasp for where he wants to go until he takes his visits. I think West Virginia might have a slight edge right now, but like I said the visits will change a lot of what he's thinking. He would be a nice addition to the offense and return game. [Ed: If Michigan has room. Slot is not a big priority in this class.]
6'4", 247 lbs.
West Branch, Michigan
As everyone knows Anthony is one of Michigan's top priorities for this class. At first it seemed as if it would be a quick and painless courtship, and now it's likely to drag out to the end of the season. Zettel just came back from a visit to Penn State, and had a great time. As far as how his season will pan out, he said this:
I probably won't take officials to Michigan or MSU, because I've been there so many times already. I will most likely take official visits to Penn State and Iowa, though. I'll be at a couple Michigan games during the season, just not officials.
I understand his logic behind not taking official visits to either in state school, but I think it gives Penn State and Iowa a slight advantage, at least relative to where they were before. On an official visit the recruits get to spend the night and hang out with the players, go out at night, and really experience what it's like to be up there. He may have already done that at Michigan, but coming to a game doesn't give that same experience. I am still on the optimistic side though, and I think Michigan is still in prime position. He won't be making his decision any time soon:
My parents and I think it's best to wait until after the season to make a decision.
If Michigan wins, we're golden. If not, it will be a dogfight, or a lot of questions will need to be answered.
5'10", 185 lbs.
Fort Meyers, Florida
Crawford was up at Michigan for the spring game with wide receiver Sammy Watkins, his teammate. It was their first time up to Michigan, and it left a lasting impression for a few reasons:
When we went up for the spring game, it exceeded my expectations. I've heard about the great tradition at Michigan, but being up there and seeing it is a great thing. The campus, everything is great. I had the best hamburger I've ever had at the Brown Jug.
Good food on campus is a plus for Dallas. With the season approaching, it's almost time to start thinking about who's going to make the cut, and what schools are left.
My list right now is LSU, Michigan, Wake Forest, West Virginia, North Carolina, and Miami. I think I'll take all of my official visits. One of those schools I'll have to drop, so I'll drop it down first. I think Michigan has a very, very, very realistic chance with me.
The weather has been mentioned with Dallas, as it sometimes is with Florida kids, and possibly going to the same school as his teammate Sammy.
Weather doesn't really matter to me. It was 30 degrees at the spring game at Michigan, and that would probably be around the coldest game I would play in. Eventually you'd have to play someone up north, so that's no big deal. With Sammy, if it happens it happens. I don't know if it will, we gotta do what's best for us.
It should be noted that Dallas holds a 3.52 GPA, and said he's qualified with the clearinghouse. I haven't confirmed this, but there are rumors that Watkins may have grade issues that could prevent him from choosing certain schools.
Coach Frey has made a great impression on Dallas, and has developed a nice relationship as well. Crawford's high school coach is a Michigan fan, and believes that the Michigan coaches would treat him well, too. He appears to be a reason that the coaches have put LA CB Daren Kitchen on the back burner for now—Michigan is in great position with Crawford.
Dallas is probably going to wait to make his decision, but said it will also most likely be before signing day.
- Tommy Schutt - Tommy is a big defensive tackle (6'3", 300 lbs.) from Glenbard West in Illinois. If you feel like that school sounds familiar it's because that's the same school of 2011 OL recruit Jordan Walsh. Not only are they teammates, but they're good friends, too. Michigan will be one of the top schools that Tommy looks at, and his coach had some good news for the future:
My coach told me that Michigan will be offering me on September first. I know Jordan is very interested in Michigan, and if he went there it would have an effect on my decision.
September 1st is the first day that 2012 recruits can get written offers. A name to keep an eye on for sure, as he already has verbal offers from Illinois and Iowa.
- Vin Ascolese - Vin is an outside linebacker (6'2", 196 lbs.) from New Jersey. Ascolese was an attendee at the spring game this year, and has also taken visits to Penn State, Boston College, Notre Dame, and Oklahoma. Everything is still fresh in his mind, and he said the spring game was very energetic. The Michigan coaches say they like his size and athleticism, and are going to keep in contact with him. You can take a look at his sophomore highlights here.
- As I mentioned the other day, DE/LB Austin Traylor out of Ohio narrowed his list down this weekend. The list consists of (in no order) Michigan, Minnesota, MSU, Cincinnati, Colorado, Arizona, Wisconsin, Kansas, and Kentucky. A pretty broad narrowed down list, if you ask me. We'll see if Michigan decides to show him enough interest, they may wait to see how some other prospects pan out first.
- Don't expect OL Chris Bryant to make his decision in the near future. He loves Michigan, but told me he will be waiting to make his decision at least a few games into the season. He wants to see how everyone's season starts off before deciding.
To: Styx: Blue Collar Man
Give me the ball,
Give me the summer heat,
Give me a line that can drive.
Just a freshman deep
on the depth chart now,
My God I've hardly arrived!
My coach and my trainer
my teammates and friends
I've heard support in their words
Well I've got the desire
and I've got the skill
I don't have to run with the thirds!
I'll take those two a days,
and nights with the film.
Keeping my mind on the season!
If it takes all that
to be more than I am,
Well I'm gonna be a Michigan Man!
Press been making statements
they can't defend.
Been reprehensible man.
And the NCAA been crawling around
But like it or not...
I'll take those two a days
and nights with the film
keeping my hate on the buckeyes!
If it takes all I've got
to be all that I can,
well I'm gonna be a Michigan man!
Keeping my feet planted on field turf!
Where second team is only a touchdown away!
Starting, now, can it be all that I heard it was?
One big play and maybe I'm already there!
I'll take those two a days
and nights with the film
working to learn all the playbook!
I hope it takes all my life
to be just what I am!
I'm gonna be a Michigan,
Gotta be a Michigan,
Baby I'm a Michigan Man!
I don't know if I'll make this a continuing theme or not, but for now, I'm having a TON of fun. I'm happy to take requests on songs to convert if I can find a theme for them, but keep in mind that I'm now pretty much deaf, so the song will either need to be one that I already know, or one that's easy to catch the tune of, so I can make sure the words match up pretty well to be sung.
If you all get tired of it, tell me to bugger off!
In the loosely adapted ways of Dante, I present to you the eleventh canto of Formerly's Football Inferno. I promise nothing when it comes to grammar, punctuation, logical plots, or anything that normally goes into story writing.
For those of you unfamiliar, Dante walks through each region of hell to learn the sins and punishment by talking to those souls trapped. In this circle of Dante's version, those who would commit fraud are punished. In each of the 10 bolgie (subsections), a different type of sin is punished, be it pimpin', flattering, simony (paying the church for blessing), magic, corrupt politicians, hypocrites, thieves, advisors who would promote fraud, "schismatics" (those that would schism religion), or counterfeiters.
As we reached the edge of the 7th circle, we encountered a cliff so steep, it would be impossible to climb down. The abyss seemed to be an endless drop down into darkness. Naturally, we needed a Geryon. Unfortunately, none was to be found.
"So what now?" I asked Crockett.
"Say something bad about America."
"What?" I inquire.
"Say something bad about America. Anything. I'm not going to do it, I'm Davy Crockett for goodness sake."
"Umm… okay? America smells funny?"
Without a second passing, a great "CAW!" came bellowing from the depths. In a flash of fireworks and with the Star Spangled Banner blaring from nowhere, a giant creature came screaming from the deep.
"Who dares defile the name of America! In the name of Ricky Stanzi and J Leman, this aggression will not stand!" proclaimed the great bird.
Cowering on my side, and pointing at Crockett, I yell, "This guy made me do it! He tricked me! Hey wait, why can you talk normally?"
"ENOUGH! I am the great Hawkeye, devourer of corn, strangely named after only my eye, and defender of patriotism!"
Crockett stepped forward, "That'll be enough Hawkeye. The boy didn't mean any harm. We just need your services. We need a ride to the bottom of this here cliff."
"Well, honorable Davy Crockett, I shall grant your request on one stipulation," said the Hawkeye. "You must sing me my favorite song."
"You've got to be kidding me," I reply as I gather my wits.
"Well, Hawkeye, are we talking the Star Spangled Banner, America the Beautiful, or what?" asked Crockett.
"No. Better. I want you to sing Oh! by Girls Generation!"
Crockett and I simultaneously, "You've got to be kidding me."
"No! You will not fly without you singing my favorite song!"
"You obviously didn't see me in Riders of Destiny did you?" asked Crockett.
"There weren't movies in your time Crockett," said the beast.
"Dammit, you've got me there." After a short pause, "Alright, I've got an idea."
In a whirl, John Wayne magically transformed into a 16 year old Korean Girl!
오!Hawkeyes 너무 멋져! 지금은 그들에 대해 노래 것입니다!
After the song was completed, with a tear in his eye, the Hawkeye proclaims, "By Leman, that was beautiful. I shall take you down this cliff. Climb on to my back, and we shall fly like a Ricky Stanzi pass to the endzone!"
With a look of confusion, I ask, "Does this mean we're going to be intercepted and go backwards?"
"Blasphemy! You want a ride or not?!" shouted the Hawkeye.
"Just sayin'. But yes."
Crockett and I climbed aboard. During the flight, I had to ask Crockett just what the hell happened up above. His reply, "you'd be amazed what you learn on the set of Rio Bravo with that slut Angie Dickinson.".
Stunned, I decided to just let things go, finishing the flight in silence.
After landing, we walked down the path, and came up to two cave entrances. To the left, a purple sign reads Chicago; to the right a red sign reads Indiana. "Interesting that Chicago has their own place in hell. They're always the forgotten team," I state.
"Actually, that bolgie is Chicago and Northwestern. Chicago didn't provide enough space to fill the entire realm, so they started putting Northwestern fans in their, too. It really pisses off the Wildcat faithful, being called in Chicago instead of Evanston."
"So this is where fans from opposing schools are kept?"
"Indeed. Each is subjected to a punishment deserving of their respective bases. If you look into the Chicago bolgie, you'll see that Northwestern fans are whipped into pumping gas for eternity. This is punishment for jingling their keys at football games. The Chicago fans are just whipped into submission, as they're just quitters anyway."
"Huh, gas pumpers, huh? I like the irony. It's like rain on a wedding day."
"That's not ironic."
"Nevermind. Anyway, what happens to the Indiana fans?"
"Their heads are turned backwards and they are forced to play basketball without seeing what their doing. They suck horribly and couldn't beat even the lowliest of teams. To complicate it, they're shown clips of the current Hoosiers under Tom Crean. The tears they cry from this freeze right to their face."
"That's so cruel."
"Oh just wait. You see the next two caves, to the left is Illinois. There the fans are subjected to carry lead coats to weigh them down, while being forced to watch the entire history of Illinois football as if Ron Zook had been their coach since the team was started. They're amazingly worse. And to the right, you'll see Penn State's bolgie. There, the Nittany Lion fans are afflicted with a disease that turns them into zombies. They march around hungering for brains."
"I think I'd prefer being a zombie over watching Ron Zook coach a 1920s Illini football team into crap."
"You and me both, son. The next set of bolgies feature Iowa and Purdue. The Hawkeye fans are destined to a life as a stalk of corn. They start as a seedling, grow into a 6 foot tall crop, and then are reaped, feeling the blade tear them into bits, before they return to a seedling."
"As if living in Iowa City isn't boring enough, eh?" I ask as a loud drumming became audible in the distance."
"Purdue on the right here, they've got it about as bad. They spend the after life being dunked into a vat of boiling tar, a victim of their own vats. On top of that, their stupid drum beats in their bolgie, but the demon Purdue Pete has no rhythm, so it's not even a constant beat."
"That's awful, let's move faster."
"That can be done, partner."
"Who's next?" I ask.
"Next is Wisconsin and Minnesota. The Badger fans are placed over a bed of hot coals and forced to jump around."
"The more I hear these, the more I go back to that whole cliché thing we discussed back at the gates to Columbus."
"Noted. But quit interrupting me, boy," Crockett started. "On the left, you can see the Gopher fans crucified to the ground so that people can walk all over them. As you can see, the roof and walls mimic the Metrodome, a place I'm sure all Michigan fans can appreciate."
"Getting walked all over in the Metrodome? Sounds like a familiar Gopher story."
"That it is. The next bolgie coming up is Michigan State's. Before I even tell you what happens there, I'll remind you how cliché everything has been so far, then let you guess. Any ideas?"
"They're subjected to Gerard Butler prance around in a skirt for eternity kicking them into wells, yelling 'this is Sparta?' "
"No, but close! They're made to believe they've been reincarnated into Spartan boys, but as the youngest son, they are to be forever tormented by their stronger, smarter, better looking big brother. And once they've reached a certain age, they're sent to war against the Persians who kill them and start the process over again."
"We've got to get more creative people down here."
"Yeah, you've got to remember, most of the people that run this place are basically the blue hairs from Michigan stadium circa 1927. In life, they were entertained by playing with a stick."
"Indeed. Now, on past the last bolgie."
"Sweet, I'm interested to see how those idiots from Ohio are tormented. Please tell me that they get their nuts busted by continuous kicks to the groins?"
"Actually, the next bolgie belongs to Notre Dame. They may not be a conference member, but to hell with the Irish. The Buckeyes go somewhere else, deeper in hell. We'll get to them later."
"Huh, fair enough. So what happens to the Irish?" I ask.
"Well, you see, they have to plug their head into the ground like emus while their feet are scorched on hot rocks. They're told the strategy of putting their head in the ground is a schematic advantage to lessen the burn. It doesn't really do anything but make them look funny."
Disappointed by such a weak punishment, I reply, "It'd been funnier if punch drunk leprechauns came up and kicked them in the shins at the same time, maybe beat the crap out of them."
"I'll make note and pass that along to Ufer. He's never been much on trusting leprechauns. They look too much like gingers. We're still unclear if gingers have souls, and if they ain't got a soul, then they ain't coming to hell."
"It may suck, but not as bad as Michigan is playing right now. They just lost three straight to Penn State, Illinois, and Purdue. Bad things are happening in your world. Fans are growing restless. We must escape hell quickly, before we lose our chance."
And with that, we quickly made our way toward the final circle of hell.
(Special gif thanks to chunkums)
Action since last rankings:
8-3-10 Illinois gains commitment from Carl Williams. Iowa gains commitment from Torrey Campbell.
8-4-10 Illinois gains commitment from JT Thornton. Michigan State gains commitment from Ed Davis.
8-5-10 Michigan State gains commitment from Darien Harris.
8-7-10 Northwestern gains commitment from Treyvon Green.
Action might slow down now that summer camps are over. The ramp-up to the season and the first couple weeks could bring many commits though.
|Big Ten+ Recruiting Class Rankings|
|Rank||School||# Commits||Rivals Avg||Scout Avg||ESPN Avg|
Rivals rankings have been converted to their "RR" scale, which is on a scale from about 5 to about 6.1. Unrated prospects are given a 5.1 rating, on par with the worst of any Big Ten commit last year. Scout is on the 5-star system (unranked players earn star), and ESPN uses grades out of 100 (unranked is 40 or 45).
|#1 Ohio State - 17 Commits|
|#2 Notre Dame - 16 Commits|
Nothing new for Notre Dame.
|#3 Michigan - 9 Commits|
Michigan might grab FL OL Tony Posada next week, unless South Florida has something to say about it.
|#4 Nebraska - 13 Commits|
No change for the Huskers.
|#5 Michigan State - 13 Commits|
Spartans pick up a couple of commits. I think that's enough to bump them past Indiana.
|#6 Indiana - 21 Commits|
Nothing new for IU.
|#7 Northwestern - 13 Commits|
NU snags Treyvon Green. Rivals hasn't rated him yet.
|#8 Iowa - 12 Commits|
Torrey Campbell picks Iowa, becoming their third-best recruit.
|#9 Minnesota - 13 Commits|
No change for Minnesota.
|#10 Wisconsin - 8 Commits|
Nothing new for the Badgers.
|#11 Penn State - 4 Commits|
PSU still taking it easy.
|#12 Illinois - 13 Commits|
Illinois is pretty close to passing Wisconsin.
|#13 Purdue - 6 Commits|
Boilers still bringing up the rear.