I did not make this headline up
Check the rules and regulations if you're confused.
Purdue 2004 in a nutshell. (Help, I'm
in a nutshell.)
Last year Purdue was rolling along at 5-0, #5 in the country, and driving to finish off a game against similarly undefeated Wisconsin when the cruel hand of fate intervened. Kyle Orton fumbled, Wisconsin cornerback Scott Starks sped off for the endzone ball in tow, and Purdue experienced the first of a series of mind-numbingly painful losses. Ernest Shazor murdered Dorien Bryant to force a fumble and preserve a two-point win for Michigan. Two wounded quarterbacks couldn't move the ball against Northwestern and kicker Ben Jones missed a 29-yard field goal in a 13-10 loss to the Wildcats. Jones then missed field goals from 32 and 27 yards in a 23-21 loss to Iowa. Arizona State went 80 yards in 31 seconds to forge ahead with under a minute left in the Sun Bowl. It was a series of unlikely and heart-rending events that struck the Boilers down from the 5-0 heights to the 7-5 depths their season finished in.
The debate rears its head again. Are losses in close games correlated year to year? Were the repeated, horrible losses indicative of a greater pattern of late game failure? Is the fact that Purdue is 6-16 in its last 22 games decided by a touchdown or less a statistical anomaly or something that reveals that there is something seriously wrong with Joe Tiller other than the fact that he looks exactly like Wilford Brimley?
I say the answers to those questions are no, no, and mmm oatmeal. Just as I believe that the 2002 Buckeyes were the worst team to ever win a national championship, I believe that the Boilermakers were good last year, much better than their record.
This year? Say it with me: no Michigan or Ohio State. Purdue doesn't play either Big Ten powerhouse and this fact has been repeated so many times that they might as well be called the Purdue Nomichiganorohiostaters. What gets lost in the wash is this: as a Michigan fan I want no part of Purdue this year. None. No thank you. Gone is All-Choke Hall of Famer Kyle Orton. Into his decidedly average-sized shoes steps redshirt junior Brandon Kirsch, who has experience and Stantonlegs. The entire defense returns. The entire defense. Every-goddamn-body. Purdue has two walking matchup issues at wide receiver, a quarterback who can run and pass a la Drew Brees, and a redshirt freshman running back who is poised to lift Purdue's running game to an acceptable level of competence. Jones--who battled a groin pull the entire year--should be healthy again and back to his sophomore form, when he hit 25 of 30 field goals. (Probably. More on kicker psychology later.)
The Purdue running game should be meaningfully better. The defense should be meaningfully better. Jones should cease resembling Tweek from South Park. If Kirsch can keep the Boilermaker passing game churning at a respectable level, look out, because Boilermania is about to run wild all over the Big Ten.
Unit By Unit
Rating: 4. Redshirt junior Brandon Kirsch is the most important player in the Big Ten this year, period. If he plays like I think he can Purdue is going to kill people, just like last year, except they will continue to kill people the entire year. Though he is a new starter, he has most of a season's worth of experience at quarterback, starting six games and taking meaningful snaps in 11 others. In total Kirsch has 140 completions on 232 attempts (60.3%) and 16 touchdowns to 8 interceptions.
Kirsch is more in the mold of mobile (and Rose Bowl-reaching) Drew Brees than the pocket-bound Kyle Orton. Kirsch doesn't have Orton's arm strength but is a scrambling threat (425 yards and 5.6 YPC as a freshman) and, as his stats suggest, an accurate and intelligent passer. mgoblog remembers the Michigan-Purdue game Kirsch's freshman year. Kirsch was scrambling and throwing his way down the field, eating up chunks of yards against the Michigan defense, when Tiller made the switch to Orton. The Purdue offense bogged down, Orton threw a couple picks, and Michigan pulled away. The added threat of Kirsch's running was the key to cracking Michigan's defense that day and will be key again this year. Tiller is said to be incorporating some of Urban Meyer's shotgun-option offense to take advantage of Kirsch's legs.
If Tiller can adapt his offense to do so effectively Purdue's offense will reach the Urban/Michigan State level and by the end of the year Kyle Orton will be a dusty memory to Purdue fans.
Rating: 2. Despite Purdue's reputation as the Big Ten's main purveyor of "basketball on grass," the Boilers actually logged almost as many rushing attempts (424) as passing attempts (486) last year. The problem was that the rushing attempts were exceptionally ineffectual. Purdue was terrible on the ground last year--even more terrible than the numbers (87th nationally) suggest.
Against teams with non-awful defenses the results were ugly: 73 yards on 32 carries against Penn State; 52 yards on 27 carries against Iowa; 66 yards on 26 carries against Arizona State; 50 yards on 33 carries against Michigan. Purdue had decent outings against Wisconsin (40 for 132), Northwestern (41 for 122) and Ohio State(43 for 120) but throw those together and you get an average that's almost exactly three yards a carry. When those are your best games against teams with a pulse, you have a serious problem in the run game.
Why? Well, Jerod Void and Brandon Jones are really mediocre. The offensive line wasn't great last year, but neither back has shown the ability to do anything other than the bare minimum provided them by the line. Void and Jones picked up most of their yards against the wretched and weak parts of the Purdue schedule and definitively proved that they're incapable of making yards for themselves.
The good news for Purdue fans is that Tiller has shown absolutely no inclination to stick with underperforming upperclassmen and the buzz about redshirt freshman tailback Kory Sheets is building. He's supposed to be fast and elusive, two qualities important in the Engineer 'n' Gun offense Tiller runs. If the hype translates to the field Void and Jones will be relegated to short yardage faster than you can say 'bip.' And you can say 'bip' pretty fast, let me tell you. It's basically the fastest thing you can say.
Wide Receivers & Tight Ends
Rating: 4. Taylor Stubblefield departs but returning is a diverse crew of pass-catchers ranging from the 6'9" Kyle "Stork" Ingraham to the 5'9" Dorien Bryant. Charles Davis is the Big Ten's most prolific tight end. Stubblefield was a smart player and a good route-runner but lacked the athleticism to put a scare into the better defensive backfields in the conference. Michigan shut Stubblefield off entirely, limiting him to one catch for ten yards, and he often struggled against big, physical cornerbacks. He is replaceable.
I am tall, you are short, doo da, doo da.
Bryant burst onto the Big Ten scene with 38 catches at 15.4 yards per catch as a true freshman. He's a waterbug guy in the Breaston mold who can take the short crossing routes that are a staple of the Boilermaker offense and turn them into plays that eat up big chunks of yardage. He has the potential to rack up a ton of yards after the catch in the Purdue offense and gives the team an explosive element it hasn't had in a long time. Ingraham remains 6'9". He's also turning into a go-to possession receiver who's extremely hard to stop. The defensive back who can win a jump ball with Ingraham is a rare bird indeed
(and Antonio Cromartie is out for the year with an ACL tear). The two make an excellent one-two punch.
The third option will be tight end Davis, who's a good receiver and (surprisingly) adept blocker, unusual amongst Purdue tight ends. Past Davis was going to be freshman Selwyn Lymon,a 6'4" leaper who is to inherit Purdue's #1 jersey, but he did not qualify this year and will sit out. In his place are JUCO transfer Brian Hare and the inconsistent and disappointing Ray Williams. Without Lymon depth is a bit of an issue but the unit has three good options.
Rating: 3. This was the unit that held back Purdue's offense last year. Some of the blame for the inept rushing game falls here. And, despite the fact that Purdue's offense relies heavily on quick passing, the line yielded 31 sacks, second worst in the league. Brandon Kirsch's mobility will help cut that number down but for Purdue to have a consistently effective offense against teams like Penn State and Iowa the line will have to improve.
Three starters return, LT Mike Otto, LG Uche Nanweri, and C Matt Turner. None especially distinguished themselves last year but they should improve this year; cohesion and experience is more important on the offensive line that any other position group. Having a mobile quarterback and (hopefully) a more dynamic running game will help the statistics out. If Purdue takes off people will think much better of the offensive line whether it improves or not.
The right side of the line is almost entirely without experience. RT Sean Sester is a redshirt freshman. RG Jordan Grimes is a true sophomore who started in the Sun Bowl and played sparingly in nine other games. If I attempted to tell you how they would do I would be making stuff up. No one knows. They probably aren't Jake Long, though.
"Stop calling me 'Brandon Villa-Real
Salt Lake,' Berman"
Rating: 5. This is the best line in the Big Ten with the possible exception of Michigan. Defensive ends Ray Edwards and Anthony Spencer combined for 15.5 sacks last year. Defensive tackle Brandon Villareal had 17.5 tackles for loss and 5.5 sacks himself. Backup defensive end Rob Ninkovich had eight sacks! (All right, four of Ninkovich's sacks game against Indiana... but still!) Brent Grover, the other starter at DT, is statistically quieter but Purdue's run defense ticked upward soon after his insertion as a starter a couple years ago. Purdue yielded only 3.1 yards per carry last year, second only to Iowa's 2.8, and led the league in sacks with 35, one ahead of the Hawkeyes. Iowa's entire line graduated. Purdue's entire line returns.
This unit is the truth and will be a major reason for Purdue's success this year. Spencer, Edwards, and Villareal are all serious NFL prospects who have proven that they can play both the run and the pass. They get into the backfield and whilst there make things unpleasant for the opponents.
Rating: 4. A solid, unspectacular unit. Largely freed to read and react by the disruptive defensive line, the starters combined for a measly 14 tackles for loss and 2 sacks. Brandon Villareal bested both those numbers by himself.
Redshirt junior George Hall is a fierce hitter who is a little slow, but he's another in the long list of good to great middle linebackers in the Big Ten this year. He's not going to show up in the backfield too frequently but fills the hole at or around the line of scrimmage consistently and doesn't miss many tackles.
Stanford Keglar, Jr., started at weakside linebacker as a redshirt freshman last year. He'll be pushed by blue chippah Kyle Williams, the unit's wildcard. He originally signed with Iowa but after attending a few practices found out that he had missed the NCAA clearinghouse cut. He went back to prep school, fixed what he needed to fix, and then returned to campus the next year. Catch is that it was the Purdue campus. He's now Keglar's backup.
The strong side linebacker is Bobby Iwuchukwu, because it wouldn't be a Purdue defense without a guy with a really long, really African last name. He's a lot like Hall: capable at his job but not outstanding.
This was something of a problem area for the Boilermakers last year. Despite leading the league in sacks thanks to that impressive defensive line, Purdue finished 89th nationally in pass yardage defense. They did better in efficiency terms, finishing 49th, but one would expect an average secondary paired with that defensive line would do better than 49th. No one in the secondary had more than a single interception last year. Again, you would expect better when you lead the conference in sacks.
That was partially due to youth. When Antwuan Rogers went down with a knee injury redshirt freshman Paul Long, who has bounced from corner to safety and back, was pressed into service. Long is big for a corner, 6'2" and almost 200 pounds, and would probably be better at safety in a perfect world. His agility--the NFL-treasured 'hips'--isn't particularly good, and he's exploitable in man to man coverage. Fifth year senior Brian Hickman is the other starter; he was all right last year.
The safeties are good in run support but have difficulty with the pass. Strong safety Bernard Pollard is one of the Big Ten's best, a fourth linebacker who led the Boilermakers in tackles last year. Usually that's bad news, but when you have the rush defense profile of Purdue, that means that the strong safety is filling holes at or near the line of scrimmage. Free safety Kyle Smith, a former walk-on, won't get confused for Stu Schweigert any time soon.
Rating: 3. Purdue was useless last year returning punts, finishing 112th in the nation using a combination of the ineffective Stubblefield and the ineffective Bryant. Bryant only had seven opportunities, though, so the jury is still out as regards his abilities. He appears to have all the requisite skills to be one of the Big Ten's better returners. The kick return game was much stronger. Purdue finished sixth in the nation; Jerome Brooks took one to the proverbial house. However, Brooks transferred in the offseason. Sheets or Bryant will probably fill in here.
AAH! Not a 27 yard field
Rating: 3.Kicker Brandon Jones basically lost two games for Purdue last year, missing a 29 yard field goal in a 13-10 loss to Northwestern and missing chip shots from 32 and 27 in a 23-20 loss to Iowa. He also missed a 42-yard attempt to tie the Wisconsin game. Overall he hit only 10 of 18 attempts, missing four from within 40 yards and having three blocked. If Purdue does not reach the BCS this year, I'm willing to bet that it'll be on his shoulders.
The thing is, in 2003 Jones was a Groza semifinalist after hitting 25 of 30 field goals. Purdue publicly blamed his struggles on a strained groin muscle, but I think there was something wrong mentally as well. Kickers occasionally flip out and self destruct. Pick a Gramatica. Remember Auburn kicker Damon Duval? He was an All-American before blowing a mental fuse, freaking out, blowing several games, and moving to punter. Jones should bounce back, but if he misses a couple of chip shots early in the year there's the possibility of a full-on meltdown.
There are some teams that Purdue does play this year. The meat of the schedule comes up right quick after an opening tune-up against Akron, with away games to Arizona and Minnesota followed by home games against Notre Dame and Iowa. If the Boilermakers scrape through this section of the schedule unscathed it's unlikely anyone will shoot them down the rest of the year. Michigan State will have the best chance but that game is in West Lafayette. The other dangerous game on the schedule is a trip to Penn State. That game looks to be a low-scoring slugfest.
Keys to the Season
Let's go Wilford. Joe Tiller cannot continue losing games for his team. As brilliant as he's been--starting the spread trend by dragging Purdue from absolute abysmality to a consistent top 25 team--he has shown an alarming ability to lose his team close games by making ridiculous decisions. The controversy he's put every Boiler quarterback since Drew Brees through should stop with Kirsch at the helm and backup Painter a redshirt freshman, but Tiller has persistently mismanaged the clock at the end of halves and games, called strange offensive plays at inopportune times, and lost more games to special teams disasters than even Michigan. By this point, if the Boilers find themselves in a tight game late I guarantee you they will expect to lose. Expecting to do so and actually losing are different things, though. Tiller has to win a couple, and dispel the cloud around his program.
Make it effectual. Purdue's offense was alternately explosive and ineffective. The difference largely depended on whether or not the team in question could defend the pass. If you couldn't, you got waxed 41-16 and the score showed up on Purdue's bowl rings. If you could (or Orton had two injured hip flexors) the final score was something like 16-14 or 13-10 and didn't get put anywhere except the (extremely large) library of devastating Purdue losses under Joe Tiller. This was because Purdue couldn't run. If their passing game was stymied, the only approach they had at their disposal was throw some more. Kirsch and Sheets have the ability to change this. A running game should up those scores in the 10 or 14 point range into the mid-twenties and turn Ls into Ws.
Field Goal Jones.It's not unreasonable to say that if Jones had performed like he did as a sophomore Purdue would be coming off a New Year's Day bowl appearance and possibly a BCS game. Jones missed field goals in each of Purdue's excruciating Big Ten losses that if made would have won or tied the game for the Boilermakers. (To be fair, Michigan missed two field goals in their game against Purdue.) It's a fact of life that you are going to play close games in college football. Even mighty USC had games go down to the wire against Stanford and Cal last year. Purdue is going to have a game or two hinge on Jones' leg. He has to make twenty-something-yard field goals or the state of Indiana is going to have to set up a suicide hotline for depressed engineers.
Worst Case: No running back emerges. Kirsch helps things out a little bit but not much. No one can fill Stubblefield's role as a black 'white possession receiver' and the offense can only move in fits and spurts. The defense is still good, but Purdue plays a lot of close games. They lose against Iowa and Notre Dame. Jones blows two more, and the Boilers mutter about what could have been at 7-4.
Best Case: Sheets and Kirsch turn the Boiler offense into something balanced and extremely 'sophisticated' indeed. The defense tightens up the coverage in the secondary and forces a few more turnovers. Ben Jones quits caffeine and hits a late field goal in the only tight game the Boilers play all year. Boilermania hits the Rose Bowl. 11-0.
mgoblog says... Oh yow. Loaded for bear are the Boilers and it is going to piss people off. You have not two but three quarterback-splintering defensive ends, linebackers that in any other year would be amongst the best in the league, a quarterback I like an awful lot, and a set of wide receivers that finally has the mutant death freaks Tiller's been waiting his entire life for.
Teams are going to have to throw to score on Purdue this year, and only a few on the schedule teams are capable of doing so--Iowa, Michigan State, Notre Dame. Minnesota's ground game may be punishing enough to crack the Boiler front seven, but Wisconsin, Penn State, and Northwestern are all going to struggle to put up more than 14 or so points. Purdue should be heavily favored in all but four or five games.
mgoblog would consider Purdue a serious contender for the conference title even if they played Michigan and Ohio State. They have the same set of two or three holes that the other contenders have, one completely outstanding unit (the defensive line), and skill position players just a little notch below Michigan. But they match up poorly with Iowa. Stopping Tate isn't going to be easy, and the Iowa linebackers will be effective against the Purdue ground game. The Michigan State game will be a shootout that could go either way. The design of MSU's passing game and their capable offensive line should largely neutralize the Purdue DL. Neither team will be able to stop the other. Purdue wins one of the two, drops the other, and runs the rest of the table. 10-1, 7-1, first in the Big Ten.
Well, Captain's Quarters got ahold of the whole Nancy Clark thing and fired his own broadside back. Reverberations will, uh, reverberate a long way down the pike now; CQ, if you don't know, is probably third or fourth in the line of succession to the Rightwing Blog Pundit throne. (Get cracking with that poison.) CFR has a comprehensive recap up.
Myself, I wish this wasn't happening. Nancy Clark is a sports columnist for the Des Moines Register. In terms of importance she ranks up there with the creator of the low-carb tortilla. So while some dumb fun should be had at her expense--I mean that was a really delightfully stupid column, the Con Air of columns--the outrage should be saved. EDSBS is right on per usual: call her up and see what the hell is going on. Dog die? Menopause? What's the deal?
I mean, dude... Instapundit even linked to some (possibly hot? maybe?) chick who's claiming this is more evidence of the "Big Media pushing back against the blogosphere." The Big Media may indeed be doing so. But to classify this little manifesto in with the "Big Media" is a severe misestimation of the Des Moines Register and how it relates to the word "big" and, for that matter, the word "media," which likely implies that attention is received.
Attention was not being received. It is now, and because of what, a screed so poorly written that if I had found it on someone's blog I would have scoffed and checked Sitemeter to make sure whoever wrote it was struggling to get double-digit daily hits? The knee-jerk instinct of bloggers to get all huffy whenever someone, anyone, who gets paid to put words on paper takes a shot at them reflects poorly on the enterprise. It speaks of insecurity. I'd rather a few cheap laughs are had at her expense and then life moves on. The goal here is to belittle; not treat her like someone worth listening to.
I'll follow my own advice and offer up a really, really cheap shot. Why am I not surprised that this thing comes from what appears to be Helen Thomas's less attractive sister? Good God, no wonder she's bitter.
Guten tag, guten tag. Tippen der waitstaffen.
Okay. Now the voracity of Jack Johnson's matriculation at Michigan has been verified by the MSM. Doubters! Stop doubting! Start working on getting him back for a sophomore year! Yost Built's Jack Johnson Defcon should be at a solid 5 now.
Coming Soon to a Yost Ice Arena
Pitts' article also includes two bits of interest: 1) Brandon Kaleniecki is now an assistant captain. Another was needed when Montoya signed. 2) Instant replay is being installed in Yost this year.
Should be an exciting year for the hockey team. Kolarik, Cogliano, Porter, Ebbett, Hensick, and Tambellini are a hell of a scoring core and the defense is thin and young but very talented. Johnson probably would have been Michigan's best defenseman last year, and Mitera is very probably going to be a first round pick in 2006. Hunwick and Dest are very solid. Past that... well, high hopes for converted forward David Rohlfs but Tim Cook needs to turn it around or he's going to be a really tall version of JJ Swistak.
I have an official name for this link/commentary feature: Unverified Voracity. Yes, the snark meter just said "screw you guys, I'm going home."
We're number four! The USA Today Coaches Poll is out.
Teams of note (past 25 I'm just going down the others receiving votes list):
- 4. Michigan
- 9. Ohio State
- 10. Iowa
- 16. Purdue
- 30. Wisconsin(?!?!?)
- 33. Penn State
- 35. Minnesota
- 41. Notre Dame
- 47. Northern Illinois
- 52. Michigan State
Texas got two first place votes, outraging Boi From Troy. Duke got a vote from the Spurrinator, which warms the cockles of my heart. I had no idea how much college football missed the Evil Genius until he came back and suddenly everything was much, much better. Can you imagine the look on Phil Fulmer's face if Tennessee is trailing late against the Cocks this year? I'm almost blacking out from the intense pleasure merely envisioning it provides me.
At first blush the list is pretty decent. I think one or two of Minnesota, Michigan State, and Penn State will make a good run this year. There should probably be a fifth Big Ten team in the top 25 (my pick: Minnesota), but they got the order largely right except for Purdue, and not because of their schedule. As you are about to see, I'm sold on Boilermania this year.
Guy Flaming is his real name. (Guy is pronounced all french--like like in Guy Lafleur.) And he's really good at what he does, which is write about Edmonton Oiler hockey for various publications, including Hockey's Future. I'm overjoyed that now he is charged with following the activities of Andrew Cogliano as part of his beat. His Oilers draft review has a couple of complimentary quotes from the Oiler organization about Michigan:
"Something we always look at when we're drafting kids is what program they are about to go to," said [Oiler VP of Hockey Operations Kevin] Prendergast. "Red Berenson has had a lot of success there at that school and has developed a lot of great hockey players and Red being a former center too sure won't hurt this young man."
"Well, we're banking on that [the game opening up] Guy, they say that they're going to clamp down on the rules, open the game up and create more offense and this kid brings a lot of offense to the table," confirmed Prendergast. "Although he's only 5'9.5, he's not all that smaller than Crosby or Brule. When you've got speed and great hands to finish, you can hurt people with it, plus he's going to a great school in Michigan so he can only get better."
Cogliano is described by the Oilers organization as "[Todd] Marchant... but with more skill, sense and hands," which causes tingly feelings I'm not sure what to do with.
Wonk: back, at least for one brief post before disappearing back into Internet ether until November. Mostly crunched numbers re: pace in basketball games. It's like the first sweet drop of liquor to the guy on step 11 in AA.
Braylon is all unsigned. Trent Dilfer is like "whatchoo talkin' bout foo'!" 'Cause that's how Trent Dilfer talks. Seriously, watch some NFL Films.
Bloggers manipulate stats just like they do facts. Liars! LIARS!!!! Er. New guy Sea Misting attempts to apply baseball's pythagorean win theorem to college football. (That sentence is probably as close to an IBFC-call as you're ever going to get.) Michigan ends up on the "extremely fortunate" side last year, having exceeded their predicted number of wins by two games. Not surprising given Michigan's narrow escapes against several teams last year and sputtery (though oft explosive) offense. Have You Met Tony? subsidiary Tom, a dastardly Buckeye, compares Ginn and Breaston. I claim NOT ENOUGH DATA SO I MAKE BIG. Ginn's punt return exploits can't be sustainable. If they are, I'll cry. No, I won't tape it.
DE/DT Eugene Germany got the Kyle Williams treatment from the NCAA and his transfer waiver request was granted. He is in, he is eligible, and he has 5 years to play four. A final nail in the coffin of those who would argue that Germany didn't get screwed by USC: he took no classes, going from ineligible-to-play in Compton to ready-to-go in bucolic Ann Arbor via the magic of Michigan actually giving a damn.
Will he play this year? That depends on whether he's used as a DE or a DT. There are a mass of bodies in front of him at DT, but there's an opportunity to get some time at DE.
Hi. It's time again for another post in the occasional self-indulgent meta-blogging/MSM thing that I do. I've been really good about not talking about this lately, though, so you'll have to forgive me. If you'd rather just read about how AW3ZOM3 Notre Dame is going to be, check out NDCHOOCHOO, my new favorite Notre Dame blog. (Sorry, BGS.)
(Warning: a long string of generalizations about sportswriters is about to follow. Exceptions exist, exceptions that I respect and, in some cases, treasure. This definitely includes anyone reading this. Probably.)
Nancy Clark of the Des Moines Register stuck her hand in a low-volume hornets nest with this article titled "Blog 'reports' lack media's credibility" in which she threw out a torrent of juvenile anti-blog invective. Most invective-y bit:
Read the blogs if you want. Read the message boards. But do it for entertainment, not information. Don't accept anything you read on them as truth unless it has been independently verified.
Usual scenario: A loser tries to make himself seem important by posting information that makes him appear to be an insider, "in the know."
Worse case scenario: Gambling interests, bookies, the mob pass off inaccurate information about a player or team as truth to try to influence wagering or the outcome of a contest. They're counting on readers and viewers to be gullible.
I could utterly demolish this. I really could. I live for this. But the destruction has already been capably accomplished by Boi From Troy and Fanblogs. So I'll leave the crying Jayson Blair to others and segue into an occasional topic on mgoblog and something I've given a lot of thought to in recent months: the mainstream sports media, how it regards itself, and how I relate to it.
Sometime during the whole Albom flap I followed a link to a thread on "SportsJournalists.com", which is a message board for, you guessed it, sports journalists. Jason Whitlock posts there. So does erstwhile Detroit News and current Orlando Sentinel waste of space Jemele Hill. The board piqued my interest. I'm sort of coming to the realization that I lose interest in my 9-5 job rather quickly and then become bad at it. I enjoy writing. I'd like to try doing that for a living, and there is a natural intersection between my interest in writing and my interest in sports... I mean, obviously. So I was intrigued by SJ.com. I checked the job postings. I read the topics on the general board. I searched for posts referencing "blogs."
The result was something akin to the end of Heart of Darkness. I was horrified. That's a word I use a lot for dramatic effect, but I really mean it in this case. No part of it could possibly have been more dissuading. Ninety percent of relatively new sports journalists work dull prep beats at tiny papers in towns that make Dexter look tony. They get paid less than janitors to work 60 hours a week, usually nights and weekends. They pound out dreary, neutered prose and try not to kill themselves. If they are dedicated, lucky, and hopefully black and/or female, they will move on to a place that is not the most depressing area in the universe after approximately five years. There they will continue to complain about anything until they are a crabbed self-parody of themselves, at which point they will smugly lash out at their readers. No thanks.
The most grating thing, though, was the sense of self-importance permeating post after post. Given the fact that most of the posters on SJ.com are stuck in really, really bad situations I found the haughter unsurprising--it's the same I-make-this-sacrifice-for-my-higher-calling mentality you find in ascetics everywhere--but that didn't make it any less annoying. Sportswriters have a ridiculously inflated view of their importance in the general scheme of things. Yes, they are journalists. No, I am not. But their importance is much closer to that of the home and garden section than page A1. Sports are entertainment, always. The functional difference between Sports Illustrated and People is nonexistent. But those in purgatory believe they progress towards heaven.
For an example of this highly annoying delusion, witness mgoblog whipping boy Terry Foster. Apparently a couple of newspapers just changed hands. Gannett now owns the Free Press. Some other conglomerate owns the News. Foster's reaction contains this:
I feel that I can revive my career that is in shambles. I feel that I will get the opportunity to write again. And I hold out hope I can make a difference in my city again. I want to impact my home town the way I used to.
I want to make people react and protest and laugh and move them to make changes in their lives.
It is what I used to do here until handcuffs, both imaginary and real, were placed on my wrists.
(For God's sake, Foster, hit enter twice.)
Excuse me? "Make a difference in my city again"? Anyone under the delusion that they are "making a difference" while writing about sports needs some cold reality-slappin'. Move them to make changes in their lives? Aaah! I (perhaps erroneously) pride myself on my eloquence and catchy pithy summations that wrap things up in nice correct packages but I give up. I can't possibly deconstruct that. All I can say is that this is what the harsh reality of sportswriting drives people to: the delusion that they are making a difference. It's okay to not make a difference. Ninety-nine percent of people go out and do jobs that make a difference in no way whatsoever and they are mostly okay with that save for the occasional twinge of conscience. Sportswriting is such a crap gig that it forces people into one insanity (My Sportswriting Makes A Difference) so that the overarching crappiness of their lives does not bring the whole house of cards down.
(Side note in the "you can't make this stuff up" category: Foster's blog is now "presented by the new bloomfield ford." This is the URL he presents on his site: http://http//http://www.bloomfieldhillsford.com/[etc.]. That's right, kids, three sets of http tags, one missing a colon. Anyone willing to offer money for one broken link, email me.)
Ugh. There's a pattern to the kind of people who overwhelm my better judgment and end up causing me to launch into diatribes, and that's arrogant dumb people. It's okay to be dumb. It's okay to be arrogant. It is not okay to be both. Guess what! Lots of sportswriters on the list. Off the top of my head: Dodd, Simers, Whitlock, Woody Guthrie or whatever from Denver, Mariotti, Lupica, Sharp, Matt Hayes, etc. And given the output of SJ.com, probably around 50% of goofs working in the middle of nowhere.
And then I get scorned by dumb arrogant people for doing something akin to taking the Legos provided by dutiful scribes penning down every piece of insincere saying-something-while-saying-nothing blather coming from sports figures totally disinterested in
engaging these warped souls and building them into what little castles of meaning I can cobble together with the wonky blocks I've been given.
Yeah, well, screw you too. It takes a certain ability to play court stenographer at a press conference; congratulations, Nancy. You can certainly talk to people and write down what they say, and I'm grateful for that because then I can take it and do something interesting with it.
Blogs are not a replacement for the press. They are a wild adjunct that is 90% crap. The 10% that floats on top, though, offers something new and cool and unique that the pajama-fearers don't understand. No, I'm not a journalist.
That's the point.
PS! If you're going to throw down the gauntlet, try not to do this:
The conclusion of the 600-page report was that the traditional "journalism of verification," in which reporters check facts, is being infringed upon by a new model of journalism that is "faster, looser and cheaper."
In the new "journalism of assertion," as the report calls it, information is offered with little time and little attempt to independently verify its voracity. [sic]
mgoblog: Where The Voracity Is Unverified Daily!
Michigan College Hockey (and Michael Spath) say that Bill Sauer is the new Marty Turco. The old Marty Turco is now with the Rangers, and the really old Marty Turco is Marty Turco.
More Jack Johnson: The previously mentioned GBW article by Brett Osbourne is up (attention GBW: spellcheck your articles; yes I am occasionally a hypocrite about this). For those doubting that Johnson will emerge from the sea wearing the winged helmet, radioactive and pissed, this is a direct quote:
"I'll be in Ann Arbor in the fall."
A defection now would be a major surprise to me, a Cammalleri-level shock. Good on yer, Johnson. Few would turn down professional riches in your position. Knock on wood.
So, that Myron Rolle kid, you know, the one that's an 8.0 student that everyone (justifiably) fawns over because he has like, athletic skillz and doctor brainz?
Well, in the Michigan recruitnik community (guilty) there seems to be mostly pessimism as regards the chances of Rolle donning the winged helmet, but whenever I read totally unconfirmed but supposedly second-hand information about him it reads like good news. Witness previous posts on the Penn State boards from one of Myron's track coaches at his school, and now this information from an Oklahoma board.
yardleysoonerfan (post count: a credible 2,900+) says in a rational and restrained fashion that passes the ol' BS detector:
Academics and college curriculums are a big factor here. He is a suberb student and has told me on more than one occassion how important this is which is one of a few reasons why he gave me the impression he was leaning toward Michigan. We'll see.
In a nutshell, that while football is obviously very important, academics and family are the two most important things to him. He is a 4.0 student from a very close, tight knit family. I just got the sense that he was leaning toward Michigan which is one of the finest schools in the nation.
Among several other things, he said they were far and away the best school academically that he is still considering and that academics are more important to him than football. You can draw your own conclusions. I asked him if he were to choose today who would it be and he didn't name any one school. Well [sic] see.
I REFUSE TO PLAY YOUR CHINESE FOOD MIND GAMES.
Er. Anyway. Rolle has been scrupulously neutral in every interview he's given so everyone is going on total speculation, but these appear to be two different sources in direct contact with the future Neuroscientist Cornerback Mayor of Everything that are under the impression that Michigan is Rolle's likely destination.
Yes, this is pretty much the definition of "for what it's worth." So: FWIW.
Did I mention I have somehow arrived at the conclusion that Taylor Mays will pick Michigan? I got nothing to back that up. I just think that. That's probably useless, but whatever. Hearsay and speculation at its finest... This Is
You're probably muttering something to yourself about the mysterious poll that's shown up on the left side of the screen. Testing is underway for some of the BlogPoll bits, one of which is going to be a sidebar based mini-poll that people can post.
Also: if you a) are a voter and b) aren't getting my emails, please email me. There are a few of you. If you aren't reading the blog and aren't getting my emails, uh, well, you're going to have to go to hell.