Still trying real hard to fear the roo, ma'am.
Something's been missing from Michigan gamedays since the free programs ceased being economically viable: scientific gameday predictions that are not at all preordained by the strictures of a column in which one writer takes a positive tack and the other a negative one… something like Punt-Counterpunt.
By Nick RoUMel
Akron was already at the Big House last Saturday. Not that you would have noticed, with Notre Dame on the field. Akron was circling around in the skies above, taking in the festivities.
We’re talking, of course, about the Goodyear blimp. Yes, Goodyear’s corporate HQ is in Akron, Ohio, but the company won’t send it out for a mere tilt with their hometown university. Oh no, that was reserved for ESPN “Gameday,” an opportunity to give a few hand-chosen executives a party in the sky, while the blimp displayed the corporate logo and a digital crawl of commercial messages on its belly.
Many fans were also looking up for not one, but two air shows. Whereas a single flyover was once a remarkable occasion, now it’s passé. There were so many planes over Michigan Stadium, that when they introduced the pilots later in the contest, there may have been more than the Michigan basketball team members who were also introduced.
They were joined by Desmond Howard, Anthony Carter, the Women’s volleyball team, Eminem, and by video link, Beyoncé, for the special halftime show she plans to use in a music video. Alum Stephen Ross was recognized for his generous gift to the University. And of course there was the evening’s honored guest, actor Mark Harmon, and son of Michigan legend Tom Harmon, who had dad’s #98 jersey presented to him by Athletic Director David Brandon.
Throughout the game, maize-clad fans waved yellow pompoms, pumped by recorded music blaring over the PA system. When victory was inevitable, instead of hearing creative chants students might have made to taunt the Irish, we were instead treated to the umpteenth playing of Otis Day’s “Shout,” and then the sly musical reference to Notre Dame chickening out of its rivalry with Michigan - an event already chronicled in Wikipedia’s “Chicken Dance” entry.
While I certainly had fun, I felt it was tricked up with all the over the top festivities. We were manipulated as to what to see and hear, and when to chant or sing. It was a three ring circus, deprived of spontaneity.
What it wasn’t like was a college football game in Tom Harmon’s era. Watching footage from a 1943 Michigan-Ohio State game, for example, one hears the marching band, the fans, and the action on the field. That’s all. The only special guest from that game was a little terrier that ran loose in the north end zone. The game was by the students, and for the students. And every fan in attendance sat on the same outdoor benches.
But last week’s event was heavily choreographed, except once: when students lustily booed Dave Brandon during the Harmon ceremony, no doubt still furious over the general-admission seating fiasco that has made them second-class citizens in their own stadium. (When I sat down over an hour before kickoff, I saw with amazement that the student section was nearly full, among an otherwise sparse crowd. I thought, “I pay for my ticket and can come to my seat whenever I want, but they can’t.”)
Maybe in this corporate, luxury box age such changes are inevitable. Certainly the athletic department is raking in money hand over fist. Michigan wants state of the art facilities in order to stay competitive. It’s too bad that with all the noise and distractions, they can no longer hear the fans.
And as for the Akron Zips, the only school named for a party cracker, they’re already scripted to lose today. Big time.
Michigan 200,000,000 – forgotten blimp orphans 0
Allow me a moment to step off your lawn.
There. Grass, sidewalk, me. Happy?
No, you’re not. And see, that’s the problem with Michigan fans like you. You’re never happy unless you’re unhappy. You know how Brady Hoke often says he has 115 sons? I bet Dave Brandon feels like he has 115,000 in-laws.
Michigan entered the luxury box age because it got a stadium with luxurious luxury boxes. Deal with it. First of all, those things aren’t so bad. If it weren’t for their big imposing walls to reflect all of your whining noises back onto the field, how would opposing teams ever remember that it’s third down?
Furthermore, and before you go on about Brandon and money and corporations, let me remind you it was former athletic director Bill Martin who came up with the idea in the first place. It was really Martin’s renovations that dragged Michigan into the 21st century, where shockingly everyone’s still alive and the earth didn’t blow up because computers couldn’t handle a new digit in timestamps. So it was in fact Martin who created the future, not Brandon.
If you want to get mad, get mad at Brandon for stealing the credit. Don’t be mad about the future, because the future has night games, and night games are pretty cool.
“But why can’t these night games in the future be like all those day games from the past,” you say, watery eyed, with a beat of hesitation that indicates you realized mid-sentence that the words coming out of your mouth might sound a little stupid.
Stupid because, what, were you not entertained? Did you not enjoy the light show? Did you really look up at the sky and say, “That’s too many planes and not enough sun”? Did you look at the scoreboards and wish you could see the replays less clearly? Did you actually think a dog running around the end zone would be a better experience than Mark Harmon honoring his dad and giving us a unique jersey number for a quarterback?
I don’t think you did, because I don’t think you’re stupid. I wholeheartedly understand your fear of abandoning traditions and losing the aspects of Michigan football that you hold dear, even if I don’t hold them dear myself. I know there are things that mean something to you that don’t mean anything to me; there are things that mean something me but won’t mean anything to anyone in a decade or two.
But it’s not something to get upset about. Entropy inevitably follows us into the future, and trying to recreate the past and its quaint ideals in exacting entirety, like trying to put dryer lint back into a t-shirt, is a waste of energy. Just be thankful the essentials, like Michigan blowing out Akron to follow up last week's thrilling victory over Notre Dame, are intact. Ditch the lint and move on.
Michigan 55, Akron 3
This guy lost a bet. Don't gamble, kids.
Also a lost bet. A love poem to Tommy Rees from a Notre Dame fan.
The girls of St. Mary’s pray at your knees
Because you are not just Tommy Rees
You are QB1
Equal to the likes of Montana and Theismann and Stuhldreher
A symbol, a winner, an icon
Your droopy eyes, not of a stoner, but a leader
One who studies play books until 4 a.m.
A senior who now neglects parties and cops’ groins
You will now prevail
Don't gamble, kids.
The Harmon thing. Do be awesome, though.
Blowing the coverage open. One Foot Down talks about what went wrong for Notre Dame on the long Gallon touchdown.
Long story short, when Michigan motioned Funchess across the formation ND changed their coverage and freshman Jaylon Smith didn't change his despite changing his alignment in a way that suggested he got the call. He followed Funchess into the flat, opening up Gallon for a catch and run.
Not sure if that was specifically designed to test Smith's understanding of his checks, but that's what it did. It is a great example of the kind of things motion can do to a defense: you're testing their ability to adjust at little cost to yourself.
In other film business, Space Coyote takes a look at how Michigan got beat up on the DL when the Irish ran. I mostly agree, but he's a little harsh to Morgan in one instance. I thought the DL play in front of him opened up a cutback lane he had to fill.
Beyer ends up way upfield and Black tries to rip inside of the right guard, so there's a massive backside lane. Once it's clear the back isn't taking it he can't scrape because Wormley got blown up. Thus the crease. Morgan's in a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't situation.
None of this is particularly surprising with six in the box and no nose tackles on the field. I do wonder why Pipkins didn't get more playing time, as he seemed to do well with the snaps he got and there's no way he'd get as blown up as Wormley did on a couple of those plays.
Space Coyote also has a post at his own site on the passing combos that got Fitzgerald Toussaint open for that critical swing route and saw Dileo shake himself open for the final touchdown.
Stick a fork in an outlet. MSU running back Nick Hill:
“I think we’re very close to just being the electric offense we were in 2010, 2011,” Hill told the Spartan Sports Network. “Obviously, we struggled a little bit last year, but we’re right there. And I noticed it when we went through summer conditioning going into fall camp that the pieces are there, the players are there.”
Michigan State starts walk-ons at tight end and right tackle, has the worst receiving corps in the league, and is currently starting Connor Cook because pretending he's Denard Robinson is their best option. Nick Hill may have depth perception issues.
Injuries. AJ Williams is "questionable" and Courtney Avery still limited. I bet we don't see much of either this weekend—why risk it—but it sounds like Williams will be ready to go by the time Big Ten play rolls around. Gallon says he's fine.
In future opponent injury news, Minnesota loses spectacularly-named starting corner Briean Boddy-Calhoun for the year with an ACL tear. Kill said he was their best cornerback, so that's a blow. Jeremy Gallon cackles madly.
More Legends Jersey proposals. From HSR:
4). Jareth Glanda | #54 | Michigan LS 2010-2013
Move anonymously through two whole seasons of football without having your name mentioned, then catch a pass for a first down on a broken play during a bowl game.
Anyone who fumbles ten snaps should be given a red 15 patch reading Mallett.
Etc.: The House Rock Built's UFR of the fourth quarter is slightly different from mine, but spiritually the same. The Daily profiles Taylor Lewan.
FL C commit Ricky Doyle picks up a fourth star from ESPN, is now just outside their top 100. Practice video is a lot more exciting before the season. Fixing the NCAA rule book. New throwy-sticky ball turf. Michigan offers combo guard Donte Grantham. Adidas alternates worn by Arkansas State draw 15-yard penalties at the beginning of each half. A final look at ND.
Other stuff here: Ace FFFF!
|WHAT||Michigan vs Akron|
Ann Arbor, Michigan
September 14th, 2013
|THE LINE||M -38|
|WEATHER||sunny, upper 60s
0% chance of rain
I'm trying real hard, Mr. Roo.
Run Offense vs Akron
The Zips were 109th in rushing defense a year ago, ceding nearly five yards a carry even without removing sacks. It's possible they've improved in that department after holding UCF to four yards a carry and James Madison to 3.7, but doubtful that Michigan will notice such a difference.
That's Akron playing defense against Central Florida.
For Michigan, it's about identifying guys correctly and blowing them up. They've had opportunities to break long ones submarined by one missed assignment here, one missed assignment there. That's understandable with a young line and (still) young tight ends. Michigan wants to develop those guys over the course of the season; now would be a good time to put the spurs to an opponent.
Key Matchup: The offensive line vs generating false hopes because they smash low level competition.
[Hit THE JUMP for more condescending key matchups.]
ppToilet’s post-game version of Monumental’s wallpaper
It’s been nearly a week and I’m not sure I’m back on a normal sleep schedule yet. I had to shake down Ace for our review copy of NCAA 14 back, change Devin’s number to 98, then go Michael Vick on computer defenses for hours because I wasn’t quite ready to stop watching that happen. This apparently is happened to bronxblue as well…aw hamburgers Brian already quoted that part. Here then’s a totally different stanza from this masterpiece:
Worst: QB Vision Cone still in experimental mode
[Funchess and Butt] are young and should improve as the season comes along (especially Butt, who appeared to drop and/or run out of position for a couple of balls), but Gardner’s passing cone seems a bit skewed toward Dileo and Gallon and that could very well catch up to him as teams adjust or, knock on wood, one of them gets hurt. For as much as I love the idea of this team’s leading receivers both being eligible for the Pomeroy Award, that would feel like a massive waste of talent at other positions on the field and, frankly, counter-productive to this team’s maturation this year and beyond.
|Brian is like 6’2” so H2V must be a big guy.|
I disagree with both bronx and ST3 (in his weekly inside the box score) that the running game was effective at taking pressure off the passing. Brian already UFR’d what I saw: one big Gardner run that made the stats nice, and Fitz doing subtle things to screw with ND’s linebackers when they had him dead to rights. The particular brilliance of Gardner and Borges and Gallon and Dileo and Toussaint in this game was they managed to put up 41 points without the running game being something the defense had to cheat to. Borges picked his spots well because there wasn’t much to be had, Gallon hauled in catches while wearing cornerbacks who could be aggressive because there was help behind them, and Dileo threw his defender on his TD by doing a high-speed luau in the end zone.
More in ND postgame: HAIL 2 VICTORS did the Sports Power Weekends thing and wrote up his glowing review—Jared’s a client and I sat with him at the game so obvious bias here but, yeah, there’s a reason he’s our guy. Jamie Mac went through the recent history of favorites in this series. Brhino went through his favorite memories of the definitely-not-a-rivalry (why is Ismail in there?!?).
[Diarist of the Week and Best of the Board after the jump]
Apologies for the lateness and relative brevity; I spent all day dealing with Comcast, whose technician decided it was necessary to shut off my internet while changing out cable boxes, then left for an hour when he realized he had the wrong box—without turning the internet back on. Good times.
I Was Like "Hmmmm" (Whoosh) And I Was Like "BOOM" (Cackles)
The Washington Post series with Da'Shawn Hand has been a great follow for moments like the one featured below, in which Hand picks up some poor running back and just body-slams him into the turf. The header is my best effort at a verbatim quote from Hand when he's interviewed about the play. Yeah, it's impressive:
GIF'd, because this is what I do:
Apologies for the quality; working out the kinks with my screengrab software.
As for recruiting-related info, Hand talked before his visit for UTL II about how his main priority was finding a place where he's comfortable. Steve Lorenz caught up with Hand after the visit, and yes, it sounds like he's pretty comfortable here ($):
Coaches: "That comfort level has been there for a long time. I watched some film with Coach Mattison, but in a lot of ways this visit was the same with the coaches, which is great because I like that coaching staff."
Hand's comfort level with the coaches and the commits is going to be tough to top by Florida and Alabama; his Florida visit will be his first time in Gainesville, and he's been in Ann Arbor more times than he's been to Tuscaloosa and seems to have a better rapport with Michigan's coaching staff.
Meanwhile, Dr. Mark Rosentraub, aka Professor Needs A Raise, is mentioned by name as being "the man". Seriously, get that man a raise.
Hand brought two friends with him: 2015 five-star DT Tim Settle and 2015 four-star OT Matthew Burrell. According to Hand's former coach and current mentor, John Harris, the visit went very well for both junior prospects, per Lorenz ($):
"They both knew this visit was mostly about Da'Shawn," he said. "The coaches sat both of them down and told them they passed the eye test. They said they just want to make sure they have the numbers to back up a potential offer for either player. Michigan has always been honest with Da'Shawn, so it makes it easier for the kids to believe what they're saying. They have learned a lot about recruiting already even though they're pretty young. I think they were too busy enjoying themselves to worry about an offer at this point."
That's an important point, as Michigan hasn't offered either prospect; in Burrell's case because of the numbers crunch at tackle, while with Settle there are rumors of potential grade issues on top of the limited scholarship availability. Despite leaving without an offer, Settle spoke very highly of Michigan in the aftermath of his visit to Sam Webb, and Webb also got a very intriguing quote from Wilton Speight, who spent much of the game chatting up his fellow Virginians ($):
“I really felt that like we made tremendous progress on Tim Settle,” said Speight. “He actually said after the game, ‘I didn’t even have Michigan on my list. I had no idea about any of this up here. Da'Shawn just wanted me to come. Now this is my top school.’ It just made a huge impression on him.”
Settle, who seems to take after his friend Hand in terms of playing his cards close to the vest, wouldn't name any leaders when asked about that by Webb. One would still have to think that Michigan would be among his top schools if they come through with an offer; the same goes for Burrell. Rivals analyst Mike Farrell said much the same in his "Mind of Mike" column, and also gave Michigan a 75% chance of signing Hand ($). Notably, Florida—not Alabama—is the school he gives a 20% chance of pulling the upset.
[Hit THE JUMP for updates/scouting on Noah Furbush, Ian Bunting, Erik Swenson, and Tim Settle.]