a terrible blight on our fine country
5/29/2007 - Pistons 87-91 Cavaliers - ECF Tied 2-2
Chauncey Billups is broken, though it's not clear exactly how. I remain steadfast in my belief that "clutch" is a fiction borne of the human mind's imperative to shoehorn events into some sort of narrative causality, to look for reasons where there are not necessarily any. See the sun moving across the sky? How does it do that? Probably chariots. There must be sun chariots. Reading anything into Billups' (debatably) ill-advised late three or turnover spectacular other than "Billups is broken" is an exercise in sun chariot detection...but something ain't right with him.
What? I wish it was self-inflicted. I wish some vital portion of Billups' industrial-strength reliability gyro had fatigued at a critical point and released a bit of shrapnel that ricocheted its way through his normally aerodynamic interior, gouging divots and scraping paint and leaving behind basically the same thing except a little... off. And that internal repair gnomes hired by anthropomorphized time would sing their little internal repair gnomes song and bring out their spackle and their belt sanders and whistle -- no, that's dwarves -- sing "The Final Countdown" a capella style as they restored Billups to pristine working order.
This does not appear to be the case. Freed of the presence of Larry Hughes' stifling defense, Billups dominated the first half against a gimpy Hughes, undersized Daniel Gibson, and, well, Damon Jones. But in the second half -- and this is something that went completely unremarked on by the announcers in an uncharacteristic oversight by a normally crack TNT crew (with the notable exception of horrible Doug Collins; see below) -- the Cavs switched Lebron James on Billups and Billups disappeared. What's worse, he didn't even probe a matchup against a six-eight small forward. The one time he did he got the defense to collapse and got a teammate an open look. The rest of the game, though, he avoided making even the slightest move towards the basket. The aggression of the first half drained.
The thing that makes Cleveland a dangerous team now and in the future is that ability. As James was confusing Billups into thinking "there is a 6'8" guy on me, there must be a mismatch somewhere on the floor," similarly 6'8" Sasha Pavlovic was on Prince, the posts were handling posts, and whoever the point guard was at the moment, probably Gibson, was running around with Rip Hamilton. When Hughes is healthy, the team Cleveland fields is freaking huge. They're a defensive nightmare, as both this series and last year's seven game adventure demonstrate ably. The ugly conclusion is this: Chauncey Billups is broken because of the Cavaliers and is unlikely to un-break unless Flip Saunders shows a mental dexterity his entire career implies he does not possess.
So this is different than it usually is. This is not boredom or laziness or switch-flipping. This is for real.
- A headband? Seriously? Rasheed Wallace's energetic headband removal after a Pistons timeout earned him a technical foul that was critical towards the end of the game, making the last four seconds an academic exercise instead of a shot at a game-tying three. And... why did that need to be called? Wallace wasn't even looking at a referee or talking to one. The headband was thrown into the Detroit bench. It had no impact on the game at all. And yet the referees still saw fit to call it. Inexplicable.
- Annual "Doug Collins is horrible and I don't understand why TNT even uses him" bit: Doug Collins is horrible and I don't understand why TNT even uses him. Kerr and Albert are perfect and cannot be improved upon, but during the conference finals TNT shoves a third man in the booth for reasons that cannot be explained. This is not a unique phenomenon, either. See Monday Night Football, the late unlamented Sunday Night Football, and the Nessler/Griese/Horrible Fat Maguire trio that is also late and unlamented after only a single season. Whenever I listen to a three-man booth I invariably think "this would be better with only two people."
Re: Collins. Guaranteed to say the same thing at least four times in a row when something happens. "That layup/free throw/made shot will get [DANGEROUS SHOOTER] going" is guaranteed at least six times a game. Also his hair looks ridiculous. You are not blonde. You are not fooling anyone.
- I love the TNT studio crew. I do. No one ever doubt that. But Kenny Smith has seriously got to cut out the "Cleveland can't win a close game" sort of analysis. It's very ESPN of him and, as the last two games show, it is not true.
- Man, Chris Webber seems done with a capital D. He cannot handle the Cavs' length and activity. It's painful to watch him do all these brilliant things that come with experience and then see his legs betray him and the shot go unfinished. At this moment he is a metaphor for aging, and it is sad.
- You would think the Pistons would be able to make something out of the Cav bigs showing really hard whenever the Pistons try a high screen for Billups but they've been doing it for four games and there is nothing forthcoming from Saunders. Anything so predictable should also be exploitable.
- The Lindsey Hunter insertion was effective this game. Gibson spent a few possessions attempting to deal with him, almost got his pocket picked, and then spent the rest of the time the two spent on the floor being freaked out and giving up the ball. If only they had done it earlier.
- For some reason I find the superstar fawning re: Lebron more irritating than superstar fawning provided Nash/Kobe/Wade/etc. I think it's because it all seems so obvious. Lebron is built like a tank and could probably run to and from Detroit in ten minutes. He is obviously a freak athlete in a league consisting entirely of freak athletes. He is a freak's freak, the freakiest freak who ever freaked. If he wasn't crushing people it would be odd. I mean, when he does those nasty throwdowns or one of those preposterous (preposterous!) step-back fadeaway jumpers, sure I'm mildly impressed, but the overwhelming feeling I get is "oh well, he's Lebron, next posseession."
So, this year's first Rivals 100 just came out. Though these things are imperfect they're always interesting. Names of note:
They have committed.
- #49 Boubacar Cissoko
- #53 Brandon Moore
- #62 Dann O'Neil
They should commit.
- #54 Daryl Stonum
- #65 Brandon Smith
In With A Shot
They could commit. It would be nice to pick up two from this category.
- #2 Darrell Scott
- #7 Will Hill
- #12 Shayne Hale
- #28 Jonathan Baldwin (almost in the "favored" column.)
- #34 Stephen Filer
- #83 Jon Major
Guys we've offered that have given no indication they're considering Michigan and live far away and stuff. Guys in this category could end up interested but haven't given any indication they are yet; probability dictates we aren't likely to get any of these guys. One if we're lucky.
- #15 Arthur Brown
- #20 Deion Walker
- #25 Brandon Barnes
- #48 Ethan Johnson
- #52 Michael Floyd
- #69 Antoine McClain
- #33 Matt Patchan
Ticketed elsewhere but I've heard of them as Michigan recruits.
- #1 Terrelle Pryor
- #26 Lucas Nix
- #42 Rahim Moore
- #87 Kavario Middleton
- #100 Robert Blanton
- #47 Jonas Gray
These are good results for Michigan. It seems all but certain they'll have at least five top 100 commits by the end of the year and could reasonably have seven. Ohio State's class (six top 100 already) is ominous, though it comes on the heels of an off year for the Buckeyes. And for all the hype about Notre Dame they have exactly the same number of top 100 commits as we do.
One glaring omission is that of TX RB Sam McGuffie, who, like, is Sam McGuffie, man. It's especially puzzling given McGuffie's offer sheet (M, USC, ND, Florida, FSU, Miami, Cal, Alabama, Oklahoma according to Rivals itself) compared to Gray's (Florida... Nebraska, Iowa, Wisconsin). It's one thing to come to your own conclusions based on the tape you've been given, but it's quite another to defy stats (3000+ yards in Texas' highest class) and wow factor when even collegiate coaches, who are paid way more than you are to do this, go with the stats and wow.
Yeah, the post headers are broken in Firefox. Dunno why. Looking into it.
Everything about the Big Ten Network is productive. They have conversations which produce things. Not, like, agreements with major cable providers, sure, but expensive lunches, fan anger, and inexplicable fawning from Free Press employees. Mark Snyder's latest is... um... weird. I'd gotten used to Snyder as a news-guy who brings information and does not offer opinion, and now we have evidence as to why. His latest "blog" -- sorry about the scare quotes, but the Free Press doesn't even make any pretense, they just throw up a story and label it a blog -- is a stunningly Pollyanna thing that seems like it came directly from the mighty PR bowels of the Big Ten office.
Now is the time on Sprockets when we fisk.
The upcoming Big Ten Network is an outstanding idea.
From the moment it was announced last summer, it seemed ideal, filling a void that has existed since the explosion of cable televised sports in the past decade.
Wait... what void? Virtually every Big Ten game of import is televised nationally on ABC or basic cable. Basketball fans can catch any game that's not against Maryland-Baltimore County or equivalents on local syndication. Anyone out-of-market can buy ESPN's Gameplan for a reasonable price and get every game his team plays. The 95% of Big Ten fans who don't care about hockey should have absolutely no quarrel with the current state of coverage.
The next few months will be rocky if the large cable deals aren't signed. Fans will start to worry about missing college football games and likely blame the network.
...yes, they will. Because it will be the network's fault. This is the ideal blame situation, when you can blame the thing that is at blame.
But that will be a temporary blip and Silverman knows it, that's why his patience is impressive.
Justification for this is... what? His "patience" is impressive? This sound exactly like "we are not going to be on cable this fall" spun 180 degrees. Bill Martin wants to end the ND series! Patience is a virtue when it comes to getting on basic cable, because Lord knows we don't want to rush into something like having people watch our channel. I have patience, too. It expires the first time Michigan is shoehorned onto the Big Ten Network and I have to scramble to find it.
The network's long-term future should withstand any early frustrations because, unlike CSTV and ESPNU, the Big Ten will have significant content from the start.
Guaranteeing at least two appearances by every conference football team was perfect. That way they're not debuting with only second-tier events and appear legitimate. Much like the NFL Network's securing late-season football telecasts, fans will chase their teams wherever they are -- as long as they don't have to pay extra for the privilege.
This is terrifying to me. In the latest chat on the Big Ten Network's official site:
Question: If we have already contacted our local cable provider and they have told us that they have no plans to carry the Big Ten Network this fall, what are we as fans to do at this point? Comcast is telling inquiring customers that they have no plans to carry the network.
Posted By: Tom from East Lansing, MI
5/24/2007 12:49:01 PM
And wait... perfect? Much like the NFL Network's brilliant plan to force cable operators to carry them by getting exclusive rights to a few NFL games? That worked so brilliantly that the NFL Network got on basic cable... nowhere. And they're charging 70 cents instead of the preposterous $1.10 the Big Ten Network has been demanding.
His track record includes launching the ESPN Zone restaurant chain -- an unqualified success -- so he has a feel for the people's wishes. That's why he plans to be available with online chats at www.bigtennetwork.com, including the first one this Thursday at 1 p.m.
Online chats! This is definitely on the right track!
What the network realizes, and is lost on CSTV and ESPNU, is that college sports rarely have national appeal during their seasons. Only at the very end -- with college football being the lone exception -- do fans care about more than their conference and their team.
What does that even mean? CSTV and ESPNU are low-cost, no-access channels with no compelling programming, granted. Given that "patience" is now being espoused, it appears that the BTN will be a high-cost, no-access channel with compelling programming like Michigan-Appalachian State. Both situations suck, but only one is suffused in the gasoline of hubris, ready to be lit aflame in fall when football fans can't get the games they would have if this channel did not exist. I thought the whole point of the Big Ten Network was to increase access to Big Ten sports to fans; the way this is going there will be a net decrease. Fewer games will be shown nationally. Each team will have two games relegated to a regional cable ghetto.
Snyder makes no sense here. The big draw he has just espoused is football. He praises the Big Ten for "understanding" the provincial nature of college sports and their lack of widespread appeal mere paragraphs after praising the Big Ten for creating "compelling" programming by... locking away football games.
The Big Ten Network brass already understands the challenge of stability is for a long-term deal, not simply a rush to line it up for Sept. 1. That's why they'll wait until they can reach the widest audience possible.
We are screwed. The Big Ten Network understands that they can force cable providers into a deal they don't want to accept because they're obviously more important than the NFL.
Silverman and his staff will hear your complaints. They just may not deserve it.
Yeah... wow. An embarrassing shill job.
About this chat thing. It's totally awesomely useful:
WHAT IS THE STATUS OF YOUR NEGOTIATIONS WITH DISH NETWORK?
negotiations are moving along very well with all satellite and cable providers.
You say you have reached an agreement with 40 cable companies. Which companies are these.
these agreements will be announced as the contracts are signed over the next few weeks
We have heard that the Big Ten Network will be a good thing because it gives fans more access to Big Ten programming. However lets say you are unsuccesful with distribution and only people with DirectTV can see it. What are your plans in this case so millions of loyal fans in the region don't miss games.
we are working hard to make sure all big ten fans can see their teams play. It is very early in the distribution process and we are making great progress with distributors.
And this... is just... I don't know what it is:
Question: Will you show video's of boys climbing ropes. I used to really like that about gym class and would love to relive the moments. I mean there's nothing like a good old time rope climb to lighten the spirits. I do say I'd really enjoy a show about boys climbing rope
Posted By: Billy from Cicero, IL
5/24/2007 12:18:55 PM
Mark Silverman - Big Ten Network President's Response: we will have 35+ HD football games, well over 100 HD basketball games, not to mention olympic sports and women's sports.
BOYS! CLIMBING ROPES!
Question: I am pessimistic about your negotiations with Comcast considering their history w
ith sports networks, i.e. a long delay to add FSN Detroit HD, moving ESPN Classic to digital, moving NFLN to the sports tier, not including ESPNU and CSTV in the sports tier, etc. Why should I be optimistic?
Posted By: James from Detroit, MI
5/24/2007 12:22:15 PM
Mark Silverman - Big Ten Network President's Response: we think the big ten network has a unique appeal that doesn't compare with other networks. we have over 40 cable deals agreed to on terms that we think are fair and reasonable and we believe we will continue striking agreements as we continue.
What is the possibility Time Warner Cable will carry The BTN? We have not had much success getting them to carry NFL Network, so I have concerns they won't carry the BTN either.
we have had very productive conversations with time warner and all cable/satellite providers.
Myself and a lot of friends have Dish Network. We are die hard Illinois Fans and we want to be able to see all the games. how close is Dish Network to signing the Big Ten Network?
we have had productive conversations with dish network.
Well, all my concerns have been assuaged.
This has disaster written all over it. When the Big Ten Network was announced, I thought it was a great idea given the following assumptions:
- The existing ESPN-ABC setup, which is very kind to the Big Ten, would remain untouched.
- Football on the network would restricted to Michigan State-Indiana, Illinois-Northwestern, and the like, giving those mediocre games a place to go other than ESPN+ syndication.
- The network would, like, you know, be available.
In an outburst of stunning hubris, the Big Ten has horned in on the ESPN distribution, in some weeks grabbing the second-best game available, guaranteed that every team is exiled to purgatory at least twice, and made demands not even the NFL could pull off. Even basketball coverage will get hurt if they maintain their exclusivity and don't get on basic cable, as ESPN+ syndication that got those games on locally will evaporate.
There's still time for the BTN to find itself on cable providers. And as long as I get it, even on a digital tier, I'm fine with that. But if it is relegated to the CSTV/ESPNU land of satellite-only access, there will be a conniption fit here and across the Big Ten region, and it will be deserved. Silverman's vague claims of productivity and "40 cable providers" seem intentionally misleading, which makes me think that things are going poorly. Snyder's breathless praise of Silverman's "patience" -- not a virtue in this situation -- makes me think things have reached an impasse and that the public rhetoric is changing in preparation for an August controversy.
It's times like these I wish we were all Arkansas fans, because nobody screws with Arkansas fans without some sweet pig justice coming the other way. Heck, you can get to the SEC championship game and still receive sweet pig justice. They're itching to dispense it. If we were Arkansas fans, Jim Delaney would be hiding out in an Afghani cave and Mark Silverman would be a quivering hobo trying to trade sneaky rhetoric for booze. Also we would be really into fishing, if my one brief visit to a Natural State gas station/restaurant/fishing supply store is any indication. But wouldn't have to deal with this.
Update 5/28: Linked to articles on TX WR Daryl Stonum, NJ LB JB Fitzgerald (lolacronym), IL OL Garrett Goebel, MO LB Spencer Ladner, MI WR Fred Smith, IL OL Graham Pocic, GA DT Omar Hunter. Also linked to what seems very solid speculation on NC S Robert Blanton: ND. Added CA S Rahim Moore, AL LB Jerrell Harris, OH DB DJ Woods, CT LB Jonathan Meyers, AZ LB Kurt Mangum, OH RB Michael Shaw. Removed KY DT Brandon Newman (ND).
Backed OH TE Kevin Koger down from blue to green after the Brandon Moore commit. Another article on Goebel. McGuffie is going to be on ESPN2 this fall. Bumped GA DT Omar Hunter to blue; article header encourages. Bumped CA RB Darrell Scott from red to yellow... maybe green? Naw.
Editorial Opinion: Not quite as thrilling as last week's dual commit salvo, but some news of note.
Robert Blanton. Early in the year, Michigan fans were confident about NC S Robert Blanton, who attends the same high school Michigan senior Jamar Adams did and had camped multiple times. Then Notre Dame fans began talking about him like he was an Irish lock for unknown reasons. I initially wrote these off, but now I think the ND fans are legit. The source of the rumor appears to be Blanton's dad or stepdad or, whatever, some sort of paternal Blanton-guy. He's taken up posting on the premium section of the ND Rivals site, all but assuring them that Blanton is in the bag. Internet nut factor? Seemingly very low:
Pete Samson from Irish Illustrated was able to get in contact with the man this afternoon during RJ's track meet, and is now able to report that the guy is completely legit.
RJ took 2nd in the and he also competed in the 300m hurdles, plus he is scheduled to run in the 4x400 relay. Also RJ will now be comming back on another visit next month to be able to hang out with the current players, and gain a better feel for the campus.
According to RJ's step-dad his parents would rather have him stay close to home by going to VT, UNC, or another school in the region, but RJ has his heart set on ND.
There is also this in a Rivals roundup article:
Matthews (N.C.) Butler safety R.J. Blanton is all but committed to Notre Dame. He'll take a visit to South Bend in June and make sure that it's the place for him
I buy it and expect Blanton to commit to ND sometime soonish. Moderate bummer.
Also ND bound is KY DT Brandon Newman, but he didn't have a Michigan offer and wasn't likely to get one. In fact, non-ND offers were "Kentucky, Louisville, Stanford, Indiana, Cincinnati and Mississippi," i.e. nobody. This one is no loss unless unexpected disaster happens in the Omar Hunter and Mike Martin recruitments.
Speaking of Omar Hunter, most expect he'll end up a Michigan commit fairly soon after some articles earlier in the year in which he said some very positive things about Michigan before he even had an offer. A recent local newspaper article highlights his impressive offer list...
LSU, Florida, Michigan, Notre Dame, Tennessee, Georgia and Alabama have all already offered a scholarship to the Buford star.
...and re-iterates his desire to get his recruitment over with before the end of the summer:
"I'm going to try to know by September," said Hunter, who had 85 tackles and 13 tackles-for-loss last season for the Wolves. "I want to be able to focus on my senior season."
This is good. Also good is this teasing header from GBW:
Georgia defensive tackle Omar Hunter has had all the big programs offering and pursuing him -- from Michigan to Florida to USC -- and he is coming down to one final unofficial visit and an impending decision.
Ah, but you tease too blatantly! Anyone with a lick of sense can infer that unofficial is to Michigan and will, in all probability, result in a commitment.
JB Fitzgerald is another player Michigan fans are confident on. He's already visited a couple times and has a third trip scheduled for June according to a recent Scout article. He claims to not have a top five in it, but the interest he's shown belies that claim. His opinion of Michigan...
"That's a first class program. They're always in the top five, top 10. Academically, they're a great school. I visited them in the spring and felt really comfortable there. I'm going back in early June to check it out. Plus, they have great coaches."
... would seem to bode well when his criteria for making a decison are these:
"My relationship with the coaches will be real important just having a good feeling beind around the guys there will be big."
TX WR Daryl Stonum is another guy like Hunter who confused and thrilled when he said things like "I'm going to Michigan, basically" early in the year. Of late he had backed off those exuberant statements and claimed a level top five, which made me jittery. So it's good news that he has once again narrowed his choices: Florida, USC, and Michigan. Now, usually when you see "Florida" and "USC" as Michigan's competition you grumble and move on to the next recruit, but sometimes recruits basically know where they're going and choose "the competition" based on how flashy it sounds. E.G.: A couple years ago, PA WR Dorin Dickerson chose between Pitt and Michigan having never visited Michigan. Given Stonum's connections to Michigan -- two teammates, Troy Woolfolk and Brandon Herron, in the previous class and a friendship with Sam McGuffie -- and previous sentiment, I remain confident.
Speaking of Sam McGuffie, he is going to be on the tee vee October 18th; hopefully by that time he'll be a commit and we can all watch enraptured as he runs for one million yards.
CA RB Darrell Scott was sporting a Nefarious Eduardo after an article in which he declared a top three that did not include Michigan, but apparently that report was false:
"I don't have a top three; you're going to have to scratch that one," Scott s
aid. "My top 10 was practically forced on me, so I won't say I have a top 10 either. The truth is, I don't really have a list of favorite schools yet. I have a lot of schools I'm looking at, but I need to take some visits before I can make a decision. I will take five official visits and then decide right after that. It may happen early in the year, but I'm taking five visits."
The good news for Michigan is though Scott doesn't have a top ten he knows some teams that, presumably, would be on it and we are one of them:
"Right now, I have three schools locked into visits. I have LSU, Florida and Michigan. I haven't figured out what other two schools will get visits. But that's not even a top three. Those are just three schools I need to see more of."
It's back to yellow for Scott. It does appear that we've got as good a shot as anyone.
New guys! AL LB Jerrell Harris lists Michigan in his top five with all southern schools; extremely doubtful he ends up here. CA S Rahim Moore is a big-time player who is a "commit" to UCLA but intends on taking official visits in the fall. Michigan will be one of those visits. Optimism is also low here. AZ LB Kurt Mangum attended local feeder OLSM, home of Morgan Trent, Jermaine Gonzalez, and Grant Mason, until last year when he (obviously) moved to Arizona. He might get a look at fullback or linebacker. He's good friends with AZ RB Covaughn Deboskie, one of the three-count-'em-just-three running backs with confirmed offers out; that might help his cause.
I added a couple of mid-level Ohio prospects based on tips. DB DJ Woods (right) has a father who wears Michigan jerseys around Ohio, a brave and thick-skinned fan. Most recruiting services have Woods a wide receiver, but given his speed (reportedly in the 4.35 range and at a combine, not self-reported), agility (silly shuttle), height (under 6'), and Michigan's strong standing with three or four different wideouts, if he picks up a Michigan offer it will be as a defensive back, IMO. Will he? Well, he's got offers from Iowa and other second-tier Big Ten powers (no offense, Iowa, but the Hawkeyes don't recruit on the level of Michigan or Ohio State) and Ohio State is taking a serious look at him, so maybe. He'll camp and is a guy to keep an eye on. I bet he's fighting PSL CBs Troy Tidwell and Anthony Hollis for an offer there.
The other Ohioan is Trotwood-Madison running back Michael Shaw. I received some information from a guy close to the program that Shaw, a teammate of TE commit Brandon Moore, was likely to end up a Michigan commit sooner or later... pending an offer. I haven't heard much about Shaw but am looking into it.
And then there's CT LB Jonathan Meyers, who you can read all about at his official website, JonathanMeyers.com. There is copious video of Meyers on both sides of the ball and a word-for-word republishing of anything that's been written about him by anyone, including premium articles from the recruiting sites. Not sure how they feel about that, but I give it two thumbs up. So we can get really detailed here: Meyers' father played for the Gators in the 80s but he seems geniunely interested in Michigan:
"I think Michigan and Florida will be the two guaranteed in my list," he said. "Both of them are championship programs and national contenders. They are high caliber universities as well and show dominance you don't see in other places. They also are great academic schools and the coaches are great people.
"I've been to Florida and met coach Meyer. I'm looking forward to getting to Michigan and meeting coach Carr and Szabo. I'm getting a good vibe from them."
Earlier in the year, Meyer named Michigan and Florida a top two despite lacking a Michigan offer (he has one now). Michigan is recruiting him as a WLB; he is also under the misconception that an M linebacker went in the first round of the most recent NFL draft (shhhhhhh!). I would think Florida has the advanage what with the legacy and all, but I think we've got a legit shot.
Apparently everyone has beaten me to the punch: Yes, that was a a foul. It was a fouly foul made out of 100% foul. Kids love it because it comes with 100% of the recommended daily allowance of foul.
I can see the argument being thrown about by some Piston fans that the game was being refereed like a cage match and that in the waning moments of a playoff game it would require a chainsaw and some bloody stumps to get a call, but... man, that's a foul. Maybe you don't call the friendly, constant bumping from behind. You definitely don't call the arm-straight up stuff at right, but in between Rip brought his arm down and raked Lebron's elbow as he went up to shoot. That is not permitted. Of course, this is the NBA and so "not permitted" is wildly inconsistent unless you wander a few feet from the bench when a Spur does something dastardly, but... foul!
(the best video I could find is up at the Fanhouse but is not conclusive.)
On the other hand, I think everyone associated with the NBA except Manu Ginobli and his loathsome floppy ilk experienced a private moment of delight when Anderson Varejao allowed a Rasheed Wallace shove to send him into low earth orbit and the referees watched impassively as 'Sheed turned and hit a dagger. I speak for everyone on the planet when I say that Anderson Varejao could never get a call again and it would be too soon. People should be allowed to punch him in the face as he shoots. They should be allowed to charge into a stationary Varejao like they are crash-testing a car against a stupid Brazilian walls with ridiculous haircuts. If a Cavalier is injured and cannot take foul shots that are assigned and he is chosen to replace that Cavalier at the line, the referee should throw the ball at his nads and call him for a technical. (I don't like Anderson Varejao.)
So, yeah. Fouls and non-.
Non-conspiracy conspiracy! A theory: sick of the constant conspiracy theories thrown around by NBA fans, David Stern and his Illuminati cronies hatched a conspiracy to make it obvious to everyone that there were no money-generating conspiracies in the NBA. Oden and Durant were carefully shepherded to the Pacific Northwest to franchises no one really cares about that start most of their games at 10:30 PM. Not coincidentally, both of them are in the Western conference, further unbalancing the level of play between East and West. The hugely entertaining Phoenix Suns get thugged out of a series against the Spurs, a team everyone in the country would like to see deported, thanks to the most tone-deaf, inane suspension in NBA history. And Lebron James, of all people, can't get a call in the Eastern Conference Finals, presumably setting up another Spurs-Pistons Finals that no one, not even Pistons fans, wants to see.
The inescapable conclusion: only an idiot could possibly screw up a conspiracy this badly. There must be no conspiracy. And that's the conspiracy! Truly, David Stern is the Machiavellian puppet master for our time. "Dance!" he says. And we dance!
Sheed. I figure most people who have to deal with Rasheed game-in, game-out have conflicted feelings about the guy on a regular basis. He was the guy who left Marshall oh so wide open in Game 1, and if anyone on the planet should know better it's him. But he had seven blocks that game. This game: 7 for 10, 16 points, 11 rebounds, stiff defense, one dagger -- dagger! -- that was as clutch as the Lebron foul was foul.
And then he goes and says this in the postgame:
Ohhhhh, amen. Let's all punch him when he shoots! Then give him a technical! Yesssssss.
I will bring you fresh baby. Maxiell must be hungry. Feed him. Feed him baby.
Bulls! When I posted on game 1 of the ECF, Chicagoans in the comments lamented that the Bulls series was ignored in this space. I have good reasons: book, Canada, missing game 3, and the overwhelming dullness of the constant blowouts. I have opinions on the Bulls, but nothing you haven't heard before:
- Ben Gordon is a terrifying offensive player but such a defensive liability that he should resume the super-sub role he had when he entered the league. You should still give him starters minutes but try to get him soft minutes when, say, Chauncey Billups is on the bench.
- They should try giving Sefo... Sefa... the Swiss guy a ton of minutes next year in an effort to find out just what they have in him. He's big, a decent shooter, and seems like he's got the skills to play. Anything that gets Duhon out of the lineup is good and if Guy Who Is Swiss Guy can play, really play, that lets Gordon do the super-sub thing.
- I want to headbutt Scott Skiles.
- Deng good, still a couple years away from being a real star.
- As everyone said, the Wallace signing was complete nonsense that is probably going to kill their chances of putting together a championship-level core until it expires. I was ambivalent about the Pistons bringing him back at $13 million per year when they were exercising their Bird exception -- ie, when they couldn't have spent that money on anyone else in the entire league. Dropping $15 million per when that 15 million is precious, precious space actually under the actual cap was insane.
You can blame "back problems" for his performance in the last game, but where was he the rest of the series? The Bulls had no advantage on the boards and, though Wallace blocked a couple shots here and there, no real defensive advantage because of his presence. If Tyrus Thomas could go ten seconds without dribbling the ball off his foot he would have been a clear upgrade over Wallace.
I mean, honestly, game six was bittersweet. It was good to see the Pistons had made the right decision, but watching Ben Wallace limp and clatter through a playoff game he had no impact on was
sad. Mostly I felt bad that I didn't feel worse, though. Wallace was the reason I started following the NBA again and now he'll end his career a cap albatross at the end of Chicago's bench with an entire city sort of hating him for costing so much and sucking so bad. Was it worth eight million to give up a retired number and demi-godhood in a city that loved him? I don't think so, and I don't think Ben does either.
- They seriously f-ed up if there was any way to swing a Gasol deal that didn't involve Deng/Gordon/Hinrich. That's debatable, but you don't think Memphis would have gone for Thomas, the Knicks pick, Nocioni, and spare parts to make up the salaries? I mean, if Baron Davis proved anything it's that you don't mess with a guy who can grow a killer beard in the playoffs.
- I'm not afraid of the Bulls passing the Pistons the next couple years. Just don't see the growth potential. Gordon is who he'll be, same with Hinrich. Deng will improve, but Tayshaun is always an equalizer against those sorts of players. If Thomas gets much better very quickly -- possible but unlikely -- they'll be a threat. Otherwise... not so much.
I hope this concludes my Bulls-related duties.
Bill Martin goes to golf with members of the '97 national championship team. While there he is quizzed on the future of the Notre Dame series. He says this:
If Michigan athletic director Bill Martin had his druthers, Ohio State and Notre Dame would not play at Michigan Stadium in the same season.
But it appears Notre Dame is unable to accommodate a move like that for similar reasons of its own.
"They don't want to have at home the same year Southern Cal and Michigan, because those are their two premier games," Martin said. "If they moved to accommodate us, then they're stuck with Southern Cal and Michigan at home the same year, so I'm not sure how it's going to get resolved. That's a challenge."
The Michigan-Notre Dame series goes through the 2011 season. Martin said he has been talking about a series renewal with Irish athletic department officials for the last three or four years.
"We've been talking about taking off an odd number of years so we can accomplish that (schedule maneuvering), but then that doesn't do what they want," Martin said.
It does not appear there has been any talk of dropping the series.
"It's the highest-rated television preseason game in college football," Martin said. "Those are the two winningest programs in college football history. It's the game that all of our fans want and all of the Notre Dame fans want. It's hard to drop that series. They don't want to drop it, I don't want to drop it; I want to simply fine-tune it a little bit."
In this passage Martin has
- praised the game,
- specifically denied any desire to drop the series,
- stated he's been working on an extension for years, and
- expressed a reasonable concern about the ND/OSU rotation.
BGS seizes upon this to argue that this is evidence that... Michigan would like to stop playing Notre Dame! Okay, that's a bit odd, but since Martin didn't come right out and say "you'll pry the Michigan-ND series from my cold dead hands," if you are in a certain untrustworthy frame of mind you could potentially see in this the seeds for the dissolution of the series. As Martin's desire to spread Michigan's two marquee games out so season ticket holders don't get stuck with a home slate like last year's -- Wisconsin and, uh, Iowa? -- is expressly built on the idea that Notre Dame is an anchor in the schedule, it's obviously paranoid and unlikely, but it's not entirely impossible that this is the ultimate nonsensical weasel move. Stipulated. (Also stipulated: it is the height of irony to take this conversation, spin it into something unflattering about the University of Michigan, and then title your post "You know how I know you're Michigan?" Someone get me a textbook so I can insert this sequence into it.)
But the really fun part comes in the comments, where people take up the paranoid and unlikely speculation built upon the Michigan athletic director's direct statement that he wants to continue the Notre Dame series and go to town. (To be fair: there were quite a few reasonable commenters in the BGS thread, but it really was split 50-50 between "f-em! we're Notre Dame" and sanity; just about everyone took the assertion that Michigan was looking to end the series at face value.) At first there's just sad acceptance of the inevitable end of the series:
It's a shame that it's probably going to end. To me, that game is the true start of the CFB season. Maybe there's a little fear that with the resurgence in recruiting in South Bend, that their season will be bookended(?) by losses.....
...says the team that last won a bowl game in the Hayes administration. And then there's the guy who blacked out for a convenient three-hour period last year:
If Monk Davieham was still in charge, Michigan would be pushing like hell for a long term extension. The skunks know that once we truly turn the corner on this rebuild, their ass is grass and Charlie's a big 'ol lawn mower.
And the rank hypocrisy:
The real reason the Skunks are maneuvering and trying to justify dropping the IRISH is because next year they have already scheduled Toledo, as in Holy Toledo!! Gee the Winningest football program can surely keep on winning when it reaches across the state line to start playing Holy Toledo. The Holy part is to justify dropping the IRISH, if that ever happens.
Insert "Commander-in-Chief" reference here. And then there's this:
Voice has it right. Screw them if they think getting off our schedule will make them better - perhaps it will, until the SOS rankings and opinion of B10 football goes in the tank.
Not playing Notre Dame will destroy the Big Ten. Destroy!
And then, the favorite:
Aren't they pulling a tOSU and trying to limit their away games to 3 or 4 away games per season?
It was no different when Fielding Yost was there. Michigan has always been afraid of a schedule that might challenge them.
What a bunch of sissy boys.
Waa, don't want 2 challenging games in one season Waa.
Lets add Nebraska, Texas and OU into a rotation.
Michigan and their conference suck.
...all because Bill Martin said "I very much want to continue the Notre Dame series." Verily, all this illuminates the dodgy character of Michigan fans. Yea, we are caught in its chemical-green florescent glow, each hair-ridden mole and dusky, craterous pore magnified for the world to see. Lo. We are undone.
I dunno, Bill, maybe next time just say "no comment"?