also duty-free guys falling over and grabbing their shins
A Totally Real Interview With ESPN Personality Jay Mariotti That I Would Like To Emphasize Is Really Real And Not Fictional In Any Way Whatsoever
MGoBlog has been fortunate enough to snag the finest talent at ESPN for a no-holds-barred interview about life at the WWL. I cannot stress this enough: this interview is totally real. This guy actually said all these things and I can totally prove it, except not right now.
Remember: this is not fictional in any way. At all.
Hi. Great to have you here. As you no doubt know, Jason Whitlock's controversial interview with The Big Lead led to his summary termination as an ESPN writer/talky-person/designated Jeff George proponent. Do you think his firing was warranted?
Jay Mariotti: Did he call someone a fag? That's intolerable.
Uh... no. Didn't you read the interview in question?
Jay Mariotti: Who was it written by?
It's an interview. It's not "written" by anyone per se. But it involves J--
JM: --ay Mariotti? That guy can write.
JM: Well, then I obviously haven't read it.
Uh... anyway. In it he levels some pretty harsh charges of "bojangling" -- whatever that is -- at Scoop Jackson and calls Mike Lupica an "insecure, mean-spirited busybody"--
JM: Dude, that's nothing. Ozzie Guillen called me a fag.
--and do you think ESPN was correct to terminate their relationship with Whitlock?
JM: Who? Did he call me a fag? That's probably why get got fired. Mess with the Mariotti, get the horns.
Do you have any opinions of Lupica?
JM: That guy's a fag. I hear that the only way he can get an erection is by slitting the throat of a baby goat.
Also, ESPN upper management is running an elaborate sex-slavery operation that has robbed Lithuania of 50% of its preteen girls. They also think Carrot Top is funny.
This isn't going to affect my relationship with the network, is it?
No way, man! You're Jay Mariotti!
JM: You're damn straight I am.
Video this week is thanks to Chris of Dangerous Logic.
|Wisconsin's RG doubles Branch momentarily with the RT, then peels off to block a charging Burgess at the last moment, opening a hole up the middle. Very nice play.Hill pops through the LOS for a nice gain. If I can blame someone it's Mundy(-1), who's too far inside and is washed out. YAM: 3. But he's done pretty well this year.|
|Crable(-1) is not the right guy to be taking on fullback blocks and it shows here, as he is shoved to the ground by Rentmeester with ease. Dave Harris(-1) gives up â€“ yes â€“ outside contain, opening up much room for Hill.|
|M37||1||10||Standard 4-3||Pass||5 (Pen)||PA out|
|Taylor(-1) offsides at the snap. Wisconsin goes with play action; Branch(+1) pushes his blocker back over a fallen UW OL and hammers Stocco as he throws, forcing an incompletion. (PR)|
|Pulling guard is supposed to block Woodley(+2), but Lamarr plows him backwards. This takes away Hill's lane and removes two blockers. Hill tries to bounce it out; Trent(+1) has also defeated his man and wraps him up for a major loss.|
|Same play that killed us when Owen Daniels ran it last year. Effective because when Woodley reads screen he goes and finds the RB, not the TE. Will Johnson does make it back to the TE but can't make the tackle. No minus, but a missed opportunity for a plus. Would like to see a linebacker somewhere around here. Refs miss a facemask on Johnson. (CA, coverage -1)|
|M29||3||2||Standard 4-3||Pass||29||Busted dumpoff TD|
|Could be on Burgess but Harris was the player closest to Hill when he made his cut, so he gets the -2. (CA, Coverage -2)|
|Drive Notes: Touchdown, 0-7, 9 min 1st Q. Creepy drive to start with... D is AWESOME! What? Er.|
|O18||1||10||Standard 4-3||Penalty||-5||False start|
|Point of attack is jammed up, so Hill is forced to cut back. Unfortunately, there are acres of space as Tim Jamsion(-2) has totally vacated the backside.|
|Jamison(+1) is run at again, this time intentionally. He holds his ground against a pulling guard nicely, allowing Burgess(+1) to close down the outside and track Hill down when he cuts up looking for what he can get.|
|O25||3||3||Standard 4-3||Pass||6||Short cross|
|Burgess's blitz chopped down and Woodley just loses his balance before getting to Stocco, allowing him to complete the cross for the first down. (CA, coverage -1)|
|Zone blitz where we drop off the weakside DE (Jamison) into coverage: they run right at the vacated weakside DE. Should be a big gain â€“ our rock, their paper â€“ but excellent work on the inside by the DTs (Johnson and Taylor, both +1) to the left forces a bounceout: Harris and Burgess(+1 each) kill it in the backfield.|
|Crable lined up over a slot receiver as UW goes three-wide. Surprisingly, Michigan is in man. Unsurprisingly, Crable's not much good against a WR, who gets a yard or two of separation and a good gain. (CA, Coverage -1)|
|Another zone blitz â€“ Van Alstyne drops into coverage â€“ that sends Burgess and Harrison to one side of the formation. RB picks up Harrison, leaving Burgess(+1) unblocked and forcing a ball from Stocco that's ruled intentional grounding. (PR)|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 0-7, 3 min 1st Q. Couple times on their last series of downs that drive we find ourselves out-schemed. Once we turn it into a three yard loss, but the other one sets up a 3rd and 3. English gets his stop with a well-executed blitz.|
|Branch(+2) crushes his man three yards in to the backfield, disengages, and tackles. Terrance Taylor(+1) also got good push.|
|Stocco bounces it. Harris(+1) was right there if the pass was accurate. (IN, Coverage +1)|
|Branch(+1) spins off his man and comes free, forcing Stocco to get rid of the ball way early. The pass ends up a two-yard dumpoff that's almost intercepted by Burgess(+1), who would have waltzed in if he makes the catch. (BR, coverage +1)|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 0-7, 15 min 2nd Q. Branch almost singlehandedly kills this drive.|
|Crable(+1) takes the fullback on and hold his ground, forcing Hill outside of him. Harris(+1) is unblocked, reads the play and closes quickly, making contact a yard behind the LOS. Hill manages to stumble forward for a small gain.|
|Wisconsin runs play action and runs Stocco out on a bootleg. Branch(+1) is through the line instantly and starts running Stocco down, forcing a throw-away due to good coverage(+1) downfield. (TA)|
|Sideline image of English PISSED for some reason.Woodley(+3) goes right around the tackle and kills the Wisconsin drive. (PR)|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 7-7, 12 min 2nd Q.|
|O12||1||10||Standard 4-3||Run||-1||Off tackle|
|They're in three-wide and decide to run against our base defense. This goes about as well as you might expect. Woodley(+1) drives his man back, disrupting the timing of the play. Harris and Crable clean up.|
|Taylor(+1) gets a good pass rush, forcing Stocco to check down to Hill. He's covered, but Burgess(-1) overruns the play a bit and is forced to try to arm-tackle Hill around the legs. That would probably work against most backs but Hill's a big dude â€“ like Rob Stone's prom dates, apparently, except for the "dude" bit â€“ and breaks the tackle. Sixteen yards later, first down. (CA, coverage +1)|
|Wide open(coverage -1) but thrown a bit behind Hubbard, who drops it. Still has to make that catch. Hall came up to make sure the bobble became an incompletion, but was way too far off of him to make a play if he secured it quickly. (CA)|
|O27||2||10||Standard 4-3||Pass||12 + 15||Stop|
|Simple seven-yard stop finds Trent(-1, coverage -1) way off the receiver. Easy catch and opportunity for YAC because we're playing soft. Jamison(-1) picks up a personal foul for an unnecessary blow to Hubbard's head. WTF is he thinking? (CA)|
|M46||1||10||Standard 4-3||Run||2||Off tackle|
|Good job by Jamison(+1) to fight off a block from the FB and prevent the play from going outside. There's a tiny bit of room inside but not much.|
|M44||2||8||Standard 4-3||Pass||16||Deep cross|
|Rare instance where Stocco's kept totally clean by his OL. Given time and plenty of space he fires a dart in between four Michigan defenders. (DO)|
|M28||1||10||Standard 4-3||Run||5||Off tackle|
|Hill manages to find a tiny crease and burst through the line even though this looks like it's going to go for very little. Jamar Adams with a rare safety tackle.|
|Harris(+1) avoids an attempted block from the tackle, then sticks and drives Hill backwards with a textbook tackle. Spielman starts going POW BOOM OOF.|
|Biggs(+1) leaps into the air, forcing a high, inaccurate throw from Stocco. 50-50 this works if it's complete. (IN)|
|Drive Notes: FG, 10-7, 6 min 2nd Q. Last thing approximating a drive Wisconsin gets until garbage time is a couple instances of soft coverage, a kind of ticky-tack personal foul, and one nice throw from Stocco.|
|O16||1||10||Standard 4-3||Run||1||Off tackle|
|Very nice job by Taylor(+1) and Will Johnson(+1) to kill this right at the LOS.|
|Johnson(+2) drives into the backfield and snuffs this draw out by himself by tossing the guard away like he's a toy.|
|Blitz + picket fence zone around the first down line, which is what I like to see. Blitz is picked up but Terrance Taylor(+1) pancakes the OL and charges in on Stocco, forcing him to take what he can get. (CA)|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 10-10, 2 min 2nd Q. Consistently great play from both DTs on this drive and Alan Branch isn't even in the game! Johnson's been more than adequate in limited snaps this year â€“ see third and one versus ND â€“ and is an excellent option to keep the starters fresh. There's not much of a dropoff when he's in the game and that there is one at all speaks more to Branch's overwhelming awesomeness than anything else.|
|Beckum gets a couple steps on Englemon(-1), who's not in position to deal with this presnap (that isn't his fault) but gets way behind him on the crossing route. (CA)|
|Stocco throws it out of bounds, as Hall(+1, coverage +1) gets a jam and is in tight coverage. (TA)|
|Woodley(+1) spins back inside his blocker, getting pressure that forces a Stocco dumpoff. (CA)|
|Stocco is crushed by Branch(+1) as he throws. Ball was heading OOB anyway. (TA)|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 10-10, EOH.|
|O19||1||10||Standard 4-3||Pass||Inc||RB flat|
|Good coverage(+1) forces an inaccurate dumpoff to Hill that was going to get crushed anyway. Terrance Taylor is trying to run Hill down, BTW. (IN)|
|O19||2||10||Standard 4-3||Run||3||Counter trap|
|Taylor slants inside, getting pushed out of the designated hole on this play. Burgess(+1) takes on a blocker and comes off for the tackle.|
|Great coverage(+2) as Stocco has a ton of time but can find no one. Stocco is eventually flushed and throws it away. (TA)|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 10-10, 13 min 3rd Q.|
|One of their better runs comes one of the few times we bring an eighth guy into the box. There's a big hole between their RT and RG as Crable blitzes upfield. Adams and Burg ess get blocked off, leaving Hall to come up and make the tackle.|
|No room here. Great play by Branch(+2) to drive all the way to the other side of the line and tackle. Jamison(+1) also holds up well.|
|O39||3||4||Standard 4-3||Run||3||Pitch sweep|
|Looks like it should get the first down but comes up just short... possibly a questionable spot. Credit to Hall(+1) for coming up, absorbing the blow, and getting Hill to the ground just short of the marker.|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 10-10, 10 min 3rd Q. On replay the spot is correct. Excellent job by Hall.|
|O20||1||10||Standard 4-3||Run||2||Counter trap|
|Branch(+1) cuts off the outside with penetration; Crable(+1) runs Hill down from behind. Dude is fast.|
|Pass is deflected at the line by Branch(+1) another zone-blitz, with Woodley dropping into coverage. (BA)|
|Blitz. Pass deflected at the line by Biggs(+1). (BA)|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 10-10, 5 min 3rd Q.|
|Morgan Trent(+1) comes up hard on the outside to prevent Hill from reaching the corner; Harris cleans up. There's nowhere to run inside. Ever.|
|Taylor(+1) comes free after a couple moments of being blocked, forcing Stocco to throw off his back foot. The resulting pass is shockingly good considering the situation but Hubbard can't make a tough, diving catch. (CA)|
|Michigan's in Stocco's head now. Branch(+1) spins inside on the snap, drawing the attention of a guard and the center, as Taylor(+1) stunts around him, coming clean. Stocco rolls a bit and throws it away. (TA)|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 17-10, 2 min 3rd Q. The Terrance Taylor/Will Johnson combination this year is better than Gabe Watson was a year ago. There. I said it.|
|This is an outstanding play from Jamar Adams(+2). TE Beckum comes across the formation on this play action fake to the left. Adams, in man, watches Beckun release and sprints across the field to prevent any gain whatsoever.|
|Alan Branch(+3) is a damn beast. Good coverage(+1)|
|Biggs(+1) discards his man and closes on Stocco. Harris(+1) delivers another thumping blow to Hill to finish this drive.|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 17-10, 13 min 4th Q.|
|I'm shocked when our DTs are actually blocked. Hill squeezes up between them but Burgess(+1) makes a nice play to contain the run for only a few yards.|
|O23||2||7||Standard 4-3||Pass||Inc||Deep cross|
|Has just enough time to find a small hole in the zone, but Anderson drops it. (Coverage -1, DO)|
|Jamison(+1) totally unblocked. Uh, okay. Obviously the OL thought Hill was supposed to pick him up.|
|Drive Notes: Punt, 24-10, 10 min 4th Q. Wisconsin gets no second half first downs until the game is over.|
And there relevant football ends. Michigan puts together a field goal drive, then gives the ball back leading by 17 with 5 minutes left. The second string proceeds to give up a big chunk of yards. Michigan brings in the first string and holds UW to a field goal.
So that performance certainly didn't suck.
Uh... no, it didn't. Wisconsin went three-and-out on nine of the thirteen relevant drives they had and scored on but two, one of which was a semi-short field after the first interception of the day. By the time Michigan had effectively ended the game, Wisconsin had around 150 yards in total offense. Some garbage-time passing from Stocco on the second-string defense in prevent mode propped up their final numbers but make no mistake: if inclined to continue, Wisconsin probably could have gone another four quarters without another touchdown.
Here is chart:
|Taylor||7||1||6||Came through with flying colors in first serious test versus running team.|
|Branch||12||12||Jumpin' jehosephat. Officially the best player on the team.|
|Johnson||4||4||A fine player in his own right.|
|B. Graham||-||-||-||Made a brief appearance in the second quarter at DT.|
|Crable||2||1||1||Not much for him to do with the front four getting pressure on their own.|
|Harris||5||3||2||Blamed for the bust on the UW touchdown; otherwise the steadiest and best linebacker Michigan has.|
|C. Graham||-||-||DNP, I think.|
|Burgess||6||1||5||Did well in the run game.|
|Mundy||1||-1||Was fine. Possible run/pass platoon with Englemon?|
|Trent||2||1||1||Seemed fine in run support. Started again despite the stadium announcement. Has essentially won the job, IMO.|
|"Coverage"||9||8||1||Far less busy than against ND.|
Obviously, we are very happy with chart. Chart is a fine representation of the Michigan defense.
For a second straight week I desire to say "everybody." That's just the way it is when you give up 150 meaningful yards. More specifically: the entire defensive line. Aside from a couple plays early Hill had nowhere to run and poor John Stocco spent his day screaming "run away, run away, run away" when the nasty big pointy teeth of Branch or Taylor or Woodley or Jamison or Biggs or Johnson came bearing down on him. This defensive line is ridiculous, especially because it has six players who are all contributing at a high level.
Well, David Harris had a tough first drive, giving up outside contain on a Hill run that netted a first down and (probably) blowing the coverage on the Hill touchdown. But he ended up positive on the day -- like everyone who was involved in more than a couple plays -- after thumping the UW ground game and so is declared redeemed.
Anyone emerging further?
Jamison continues to get more and more playing time as his ankle heals. There was one messed up play on the backside but that was more mental error than anything. When he knew what to do in the run game he held up well enough. He's also fast.
Taylor and Johnson were both great. They're active, driving players who would be an excellent starting tandem even in the absence of Alan Branch (BTW: Alan, you are getting verrrry sleepy. You love Michigan and would never consider early entry into the NFL draft). Morgan Trent showed well in run support one week after playing an excellent game versus ND's passing game.
The aforementioned players are all playing in spots Michigan fans were fretting over at season's start. Add in the emergence of Biggs as an above-average player and the remarkable transformations of Crable and Burgess and there isn't a spot on this defense that can be considered a major hole anymore.
Shall we invoke that particular year again and tempt the gods of hubris further?
Uh, no. This defense is terrible, I miss Todd Howard, Zach Kaufman, and Pat Massey and will be surprised if we make a bowl game this year.
What does it mean for Minnesota?
The Gophers may prove more troublesome than Wisconsin did, but they're down to a converted linebacker and Amir Pinnix at RB and have lost that Setterstrom-Eslinger combination that powered their run game for so long. They did rack up 421 yard against Purdue, but that D has been giving up nearly 30 points to I-AA teams. They were largely shut down against Cal -- one of their scores was a kick return -- and if I had to pick between Michigan and Cal's defenses, I would definitely pick Michigan's.
The trouble comes in the form of Ernie Wheelwright, Logan Payne, and Brian Cupito. We haven't faced a receiver with the size and speed of Wheelwright, who is the frequent target of Cupito bombs. We lived on the edge against ND, occasionally letting Rhema McKnight get open downfield. Fortunately for us, Quinn was either getting hit or panicking about getting hit to hit him, except once when McKnight dropped it. I have the Minnesota-Purdue game on DVR and will relay further impressions later in the week.
So, before we get to the ballot... who is number one? In my mind there are five candidates:
- Auburn: Marquee win over LSU, but a close game marred with some small officiating controversy and at home. No other competent teams on the schedule, though secondary win over WSU is good since it's 40-14.
- Ohio State: handled Texas @ Texas, winning 24-7, though the game was closer than that implies. Big time marquee win. Struggled badly against a Penn State team that was obliterated by ND; Irish were in turn obliterated by Michigan. Transitive property?
- Michigan: BEAT DOWN Notre Dame by 26 points. Have ground out nearly identical victories in all other games, crushing opponents to the tune of 150-ish yards before garbage time and winning by about three scores. Secondary win over Wisconsin probably the best of the contenders.
- Southern Cal: Lamest big win of all candidates over a Nebraska team seemingly more focused on covering the spread than winning, deploying a mind-numbingly stupid three-TE rush attack most of the night. Obliterated an Arkansas team that's probably headed for 5-7 and struggled badly against crappy Arizona in other games.
- Florida: Marquee win @ Tennessee but in a squeaker. No other actual opponents on record. Had a goofy, narrow game against UK that was more fluky than anything.
Am I being a shameless homer if I contend that Michigan's resume is the best, albeit by a very narrow margin? When six minutes were left in Michigan's most recent game they were was up 17 and sending in the second team defense. Ohio State, on the other hand, was up eight and facing a potential -- if highly improbable -- game tying drive before Morelli gift-wrapped two Buckeye touchdowns. Given that Penn State has looked like crap this year, I think that's advantage Michigan. And while Texas is probably much better than ND, Michigan's win was significantly more emphatic. Meanwhile, Southern Cal has played two atrocious offenses and a Nebraska team that voluntarily made their offense atrocious. The two SEC teams earned their marquee wins by the skin of their teeth and have no one comparable to Wisconsin in their pile o' skulls.
So am I ranking Michigan #1? Hell no! I've seen what happens to people who tempt the wrath of the C/K Award -- Spartan fans everywhere can thank tES for their nationally-televised sack-kicking -- and wish to avoid that fate. But I think some people should and that the rapidly solidifying conventional wisdom that Ohio State is obviously the best team in the country is wrong. I urge you, poll voters, to consider the teams en toto and to refrain from blindly voting last week's #1 at the same spot despite a bad game versus a meh team. Down that path boringosity lies.
And now is the time on Sprockets when we vote.
- My "no looky" policy dropped Nebraska out after a 56-0 win over Troy. I'm fine with that since they showed no life in their one game against real competition.
- Wisconsin moves in after a loss. In short: I think their defense is pretty good and it's more palatable than FSU or some mid-major or something. Also their band kicks ass.
- WVU drops. I watched most of that game versus the ECU Pirates.
- Iowa drops. I didn't see the Illinois game but given their interminable awfulness Iowa's sluggish 24-7 victory is not impressive. I think I've dropped Iowa two or three spots every week so far.
- Clemson and Cal rocket up. I think Clemson deserves it, as their one loss was XP-induced and they've dropped the hammer on everyone else. Cal... well... they're obviously pretty good now that Longshore is not a disaster.
- MSU stays. Again: who else is a good option? They h
ave a good win over Pitt and a close, hilarious loss to ND. That offense is really good, and they can't implode like that more than a couple times a year. Right?
As always, I await stern corrections.
Michigan State - Pittsburgh
Still a known quantity. The Michigan State offense remains the vastly intimidating thing it was last year, though I think Pitt's defensive line is amongst the least likely in the country to pose a test for a mostly-new offensive line. Still: Michigan State gashed Pitt impressively all game and Stanton was Stanton. They'll be hard to stop for anyone if the offensive line isn't a mirage.
This year Michigan State seems to be going for broke with Stanton and having him run significantly more. The quantity of Stanton options, draws, and scrambles in the Pitt game was much closer to his crazylegs sophomore year than his fairly restrained junior one. Maybe they have more confidence in the backup; maybe they just want to get the maximum use from Stanton before he graduates.
One evident weakness: wide receiver. Jerramy Scott is kind of bad. Trannon's huge but lumbering, and no one else stands out as a major threat. Kerry Reed seems pretty good, though. Caulcrick and Ringer are still Caulcrick and Ringer.
I think they might have a pulse on defense, too. Nehemiah Warrick had a couple of nice sticks in run support and DT Clifton Ryan is fully healthy for the first time in a while and playing at a more natural position for his ginorbous body.
...but there are still major issues. The DL made very few plays in the run game and didn't get a whole lot of pressure on Palko. State's corners often panicked in deep coverage and committed a series of pass interference penalties that they dodged because Palko threw the ball well out of bounds. They also spent the entire game lined up 8-10 yards deep.
Ohio State - Penn State
Yick. Not a particularly well-played game. Ohio State is clearly the better team but given Penn State's deficient offensive line, meh running back, and goofy playcalling the Buckeyes have to be concerned about the rushing yards they gave up to an awful offensive team.
And there's the definitive proof of that: Tony Hunt's thirty-some yard run in the third quarter would have been a touchdown if a glorified fullback didn't have the ball. I know Mike Hart isn't exactly Flash Gordon but even he has the decency to get 50 or 60 yards downfield before being caught from behind. PSU ended up running the ball into the line a lot, then false-starting on fourth and goal inches away from the line.
You have failed to maintain your spot on my prestigious ballot, please quit football. Troy Smith was hearteningly mediocre all day, save for that one ridiculous "I'm Troy Smith" play that made me shiver. Most of his passes were inaccurate. He was behind his receivers all day and could have been picked a couple more times if ricochets had bounced wrong. His first interception to Justin King was a Ginn touchdown if thrown in the right spot, but it was way long and well wide of his post route.
So, yeah, Calvin Johnson heads to the top of the Maxwell Pundit ballot.
It looks like that particular debate is settled. Who said this about Anthony Morelli at the start of the year?
Taken together, Facts About Anthony Morelli bode unwell for Penn State's chances for a repeat. He's a raw recruit with no experience coached by the most widely reviled son this side of Jeff Bowden being handed the starting job in an offense that has to change drastically to accommodate his talents.
Er... good luck with that.
Who got ripped up and down by Penn State fans for saying that? This guy. Who is now patiently awaiting a flood of Nittany contrition sure to never come? This guy. Who is way, way better than Anthony Morelli? Chad Henne. And probably this guy, as even I wouldn't flip a little floater into double coverage when attempting to drive for a tying score. Malcolm Jenkins' interception that sealed the game was a ludicrously bad throw that proves claiming Anthony Morelli has a ten-cent head is doing grievous injustice to dimes. Dimes are useful. You can put them in parking meters and get gumballs and make phone calls with them. Meanwhile, Anthony Morelli led his team to three meaningful points against Notre Dame, a team that's given up 47 and 37 the last two weeks, and negative eight against Ohio State and their nine new starters.
Is it just me, or... has James Laurinatis built his reputation largely because other people deflect balls right to him?
Penn State: irritating. Morelli does have his moments of laser-armed bravado and their receivers have the ability to separate and make the proverbial plays, which makes them more of a threat than Wisconsin was to get a few big gainers. Their defense is not terrible, though they've given up on their defensive ends and started using linebacker Tim Shaw as a standup DE, which is about as effective as you think it sounds, and could bend-but-not-break against us and create a close game. Michigan shouldn't lose to PSU but there's a lot of variance in their offense that could create an unpleasant minor point explosion.
9/23/2006 - Michigan 27-13 Wisconsin - 4-0 (1-0)
We lost this game last year. Almost this exact same game. Wisconsin struggled to move the ball in the air. We had a couple of unfortunate, potentially game-changing turnovers. We turned the ball over on a fourth and short. The score uncomfortably close at halftime.
Obviously, things went a little better this time. The difference: this game was over the instant Mario Manningham cruised under another deadly accurate 30-yard bomb from Chad Henne. It was 17-10 midway through the third quarter, and that game had ended. That assertion is patently ridiculous when made about a team that never met a fourth-quarter lead it couldn't blow, but it is also true. That game was over. Wisconsin would not move the ball anywhere near Michigan's endzone until it was far too late, and that's what I expected. Where did that come from? Where did the paranoid fear that dominated my psyche at halftime of the ND game when we led by twenty go? Somewhere. I don't know.
By the time Michigan officially put the game beyond reach with a short Rivas field goal, Wisconsin had under 150 yards in total offense, 12 of them on the ground. They had gone backwards in the second half. Irritating garbage-time passing against the second string propped up Wisconsin's final numbers and partially obscured the ridiculous dominance of Woodley, Branch, Crable, et al., but make no mistake: this was nearly as beat-down-errific as the Notre Dame game, except in this game Michigan won going away with a -2 in the turnover margin column* instead of a +4. Replay this game 100 times and the average margin of victory for Michigan is closer to 24 than 14.
And thus severe cognitive dissonance in the Michigan fanbase. Stung by the Year of Infinite Pain and previous Years of Unnecessary But Thankfully Finite Pain, there is a hestiancy to predict anything better than 10-2, to envision horrible losses to teams with no business on the same field as Michigan (I'm looking at you, Penn State), to prepare for the inevitable hammer blow to the chest courtesy a wacky punt formation or foolish confidence in a slim lead or the plain bloody-mindedness of the universe. We hesitate. We don't want to go through that again.
And yet... this team is not last year's team. The Henne-Manningham connection gives this offense a big play element it lacked last year and allows Henne to show off the laser-guided deep ball that won Braylon Edwards the Belitnikoff. Mike Hart is, like, playing. The defense has been nearly impregnable when it matters, giving up the odd touchdown here and there when someone blows an assignment but otherwise mercilessly crushing any and all resistance.
The terrifying reality is this is not a 9-3 team. It's not a 10-2 team. And while the harsh axioms of probability conspire against the possibility of an undefeated team, that still-dim chance grows stronger with every sack, every graceful Manningham touchdown, and every four yards Mike Hart creates out of nothing.
In 1997 we played Notre Dame, and I watched Michigan turn the ball over around midfield three times. We were trying to follow the horrible script Michigan fans know and loathe so well: late lead, late turnover, late loss. We tried it three times, but one stop became two became three and we wandered off the field, victors. Something changed in there. Faith spontaneously generated itself like maggots in meat. Self-protective cynicsm departed.
At some point on Saturday -- probably when Stocco was getting crushed or Hill was getting crushed or Manningham was gliding under touchdowns or Steve Breaston was dancing through Wisconsin coverage like he was a part of the Michael Jackson halftime show -- I gave up. You win, winged helmets. Lucy, I am ready to kick the football.
*(Strange final interception with game decided is omitted; turnover on downs included.)
I bet this one is less contentious, largely because there isn't a behemoth blog like BGS for UW fans -- no offense to the fine Badger blogs out there, but BGS gets traffic -- and thus only a small likelihood of PO-ed spillover.
I also bet this game is closer.