Coaches' timeouts are worse. Basketball teams should get one, full stop.
Hail to the Victors of beer pong:
A pair of recent University of Michigan graduates are each $5,000 richer for being the best at a national tournament involving a campus drinking game popular among many college students.
Jason Coben and Nick Velissaris are the champions of the "World Series of Beer Pong," which took place earlier this month near Las Vegas. The two beat out more than 160 other competitors to split the $10,000 grand prize.
Yes, yes, it is getting misty up in here.
That's damn right and we'll do it again. Via Paul Westerdawg comes this little piece of history from the 1922 Michigan-Vanderbilt game:
In the locker room prior to the kickoff, Coach McGugin gave his hopeful pregame inspirational talk. Referring to the Michigan players, McGugin said, "You are going against Yankees, some of whose grandfathers killed your grandfathers in the Civil War." Unknown to the Commodore players was the fact that McGugin's father had been an officer in the Union army.
McGugin continued, "presumably not before said dead grandfathers had the opportunity to sire your fathers, obviously, since this is not a weird Back to the Future-esque incident wherein people screw up their own existence." At that point, one of his players asked "what's Back to the Future?" which cased McGugin to disappear in a puff of logic.*
And we'll conquer you, too. Mayor Kyle King wants Georgia to play Michigan in a titantic battle of... uh... titans. Intriuging. I know that Michigan is looking to play Notre Dame less frequently after the current contract expires in 2010 or whatever and is looking to line up at least one marquee non-conference opponent for years when the Irish are off the schedule, but neither school has shown a tendency to go play roadies anywhere near their prospective opponents: the last time Georgia ventured out of the south to play a game, Dick Clark was busy slaying the tyrannosaurs that threatened his humble fishing village; Michigan hasn't played a non-conference game in the sweltering ex-confederacy since... um? anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Reconstruction? The French and Indian War?
Suffice it to say that such an event is unlikely to occur without a serious kick in the pants from external forces... like a groundswell of public support? Sure! Kyle Wants You(!) to Email Your AD:
write to your athletic director and respectfully request that the two schools schedule one another as soon as possible. It is my hope that the two schools' fan bases will, through the weblogging community, begin a grassroots campaign to get this series on the schedule.
Hell, sounds better than an Eastern/Central/Western trifecta. Count me in. Visit Kyle's place, read his impassioned letter to the AD, and fire one off your ownself. Bill Martin (or at least someone who reads his angry fan mail by proxy) can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or mailed for real here:
William C. Martin
Donald R. Shepherd Director of Intercollegiate Athletics
University of Michigan
1000 South State Street
Ann Arbor, MI 48109-2201
...and they called it the Blog Bowl.
(Also, Kyle's Gameday Drinking Game is not to be missed:
Rule No. 6: Lou Holtz. Anytime Lou Holtz mentions Notre Dame while discussing a game in which Notre Dame is not playing, everyone takes one drink. If he does it twice in the same segment, everyone takes two drinks, and so on until the end of the segment. If you try to speak and you find that you sound like Lou Holtz, stop drinking and have someone call you a cab.
Skiier likes beer! Also, puppies cute! Bode Miller said something along the lines of "I drink excessively and once was still smashed from the previous night while attempting to ski; that's why I am bad at the slalom." This caused outrage for some reason... probably because of the children. It's always because of the children. Bill Gifford says "duh, and shut up about it" at Slate.
Miller was forced to apologize for his statements. Meanwhile, Joe Theisman remains unshot and free to roam the streets. What is this country coming to?
Mustache equilibrium? I don't actually suggest reading Tom Kubat's latest masterpiece for the West Lafayette Journal-Courier (single-sentence paragraph count: an astounding 26 of 33... and the seven that have more than one period have two), but in it he asserts that Purdue defensive coordinator Brock Spack has "received an offer to take over in the same capacity at a higher profile Big Ten Conference program."
Now, there are three higher profile Big Ten programs than Purdue: Michigan, Ohio State, and Penn State. (Okay, perhaps Iowa and Wisconsin are also higher profile of late, but Norm Parker isn't going anywhere and Brett Bielema just hired someone else.) Both Ohio State and Penn State are coming off years wherein their bone-crushing defenses led them to BCS bowl victories. Michigan... isn't. If this article is accurate, the inescapable conclusion is that Michigan is the source of the offer.
Spack then announced that he's staying at Purdue. Despite that, it's interesting in three ways:
- it hammers another nail in Herrmann's coffin,
- it's an indication that Michigan is looking outside the "Michigan Man" etc, etc, for a job as high profile as defensive coordinator, and
- it indicates that English-to-DC may not be the slam dunk everyone says it is.
Caveat: this may be bunk.
What he said. Big Ten Wonk on Michigan's performance against Illinois and what it means as regards that ever-elusive "back" thing:
The test for Michigan, as for any team, is this: they will have arrived when we know in advance how they expect to win. Look at Wisconsin. We say things like: "Wisconsin, as expected, played tough D and took care of the ball." The Wolverines will be "back" when we can finish this sentence in a non-pejorative fashion: "Michigan, as expected, (blank)."
...turned the ball over 25 times: pejorative; next question.
Etc: Dhani Jones reviews "Glory Road" on Page 2; Dave Sez that Jerry Bruckheimer basically made a bunch of stuff up; The OZone has some year end awards featuring our very own Tyler Ecker and his inability to think straight at the end of games.
Update 1/13: Linked to Jonas Mouton article and Brandon Graham article. Removed WR Adrian Cannon, who apparently commited to Maryland, TE Andrew Quarless(PSU), and RB Knowshon Moreno(ceased listing us). Added TX QB Nick Stephens after a mention that Michigan had offered him in the Dallas Morning News.
Editorial Update: The sudden addition of Stephens to the board indicates that Michigan is indeed trying very hard to bring in a second quarterback in this class. With Matt Gutierrez at Idaho State next year, Henne's backups will be redshirt freshman Jason Forcier and true freshman David Cone... not a comforting thought. Adding a second true freshman may not help much, but since both Cone and Forcier are extremely raw (Forcier had one year in a passing offense, Cone zero) a player more familiar with the "forward pass" could be more prepared than either of the current recruits in an emergency situation. Anyway, the DMN graf on Stephens:
â€¢ Michigan is scrambling to find a quarterback and has contacted Southlake Carroll's Greg McElroy and Flower Mound's Nick Stephens. In fact, Michigan has offered Stephens a scholarship. Stephens, who is orally committed to Ole Miss, visited Tennessee this weekend. McElroy, No. 25 on SportsDay's area top 100, said he is a solid commitment to Texas Tech. Stephens is No. 32 on the area list.
Stephens is definitely looking around after Ole Miss canned their offensive coordinator:
Flower Mound quarterback Nick Stephens is orally committed to Ole Miss, but he is brutally honest about next weekend's official visit to Tennessee.
He could wind up switching to the Volunteers.
"I wouldn't be going on the visit if that wasn't possible," Stephens said. "I wouldn't be wasting their time." ...
The longer it takes Ole Miss to find Mazzone's replacement, the more likely it is the Rebels will lose Stephens.
"It all depends on when Ole Miss gets their offensive coordinator," Stephens said.
Also of note is a definite assertion from Scout that Michigan is leading for NY DE McKenzie Matthews, who is one of those players with a gap between their offers (Miami, OSU, Michigan, BC, Pitt) and their rating (generally three stars). Matthews is an edge rusher who collected 27 sacks last year.
And I would be remiss if I did not comment on the festival of speculation going on about OMG SHIRTLESS OT Sam Young, who cancelled his recruiting visits to Michigan and Penn State and moved up his timeline. Various reports had him deciding and then visiting Notre Dame; if true that would be functionally equivalent to "committing to Notre Dame." However, the does not appear to be accurate. Young is hosting Pete Caroll today:
Carroll's focus clearly is on reloading with the Feb.1 signing day approaching. He left Sunday night on a recruiting trip and has an in-home visit scheduled for today in Ft. Lauderdale, Fla., with offensive lineman Sam Young, Rivals.com's No.2 offensive tackle and No.23 overall.
Young is also expected to host visits from Weis... and Lloyd Carr. So it isn't over, but that same Scout article referenced earlier re: McKenzie Matthews pointedly omits any mention of Young. So it doesn't look particularly good, but there's too much "not so fast, my friend" insider buzz to write him off completely.
1/14/2005 - Michigan 74-79 Illinois - 11-3, 1-2 Big Ten
Well, that could have gone much worse. You can say what you want about moral victories not existing--fair warning if you do: you're parroting dull sports press conferences and are therefore being very boring--but when you're Michigan on the road against #6 Illinois and your eleven point halftime deficit turns into a tight game you literally have a shot at winning instead of a 30 point blowout, eh... moral victories here we come. Eschewing moral victories is for teams that have been to the NCAA tournament this millennium.
Unfortunately, if we're going to track losses based on their ethics we have to do the same for the wins, and Michigan's 68-65 win over a Purdue team minus four starters washes away any and all moral superiority gained by Michigan's latest character-building loss. We're back at ground zero, attempting to assess what, exactly, this team is and by extension whether or not Tommy Amaker is ever going to "close the gap," in the parlance of Michigan-Michigan State basketball smack talk. What I am saying is: hold the horses. You can't say something like "if the refs didn't screw us we would have beaten Illinois" without acknowledging that on another night Michigan was three points better than Purdue's second team.
A favorite tactic of sports fans seeking endorphins from their teams is to wildly overrate their prospects based on only the good while dismissing the bad. For an example, see this idiot's Michigan season preview. As a result you can expect to see condemnations of Amaker that all cite this particular game as an example of Michigan's talent, but Michigan is neither the team that nearly beat Illinois or nearly lost to Purdue, or they're both. As Howard King might say, "you can't have one without the other."
Bullets of Power
- Donde esta Lester Abram? Abram managed to get off two shots in 22 minutes. Two years ago he was the best player on the team. His seemingly disinterested performance and his previous statements to the effect that he may not return for a fifth year if his degree is secured are bothersome.
- It would have been nice to see what Graham Brown could have done if he wasn't assaulted by a series of ticky-tack fouls. I'm just sayin'.
- Hey, maybe that Jerrett Smith guy is all right. He still couldn't defend evolution from William Jennings Bryan, but I'll take eight points on four shots and solid ballhandling.
- I may as well throw this in here: Michigan secured a 2006 commitment from Anthony Wright, who is either 6'5" or 6'6", 230 pounds and is labeled a "small/power forward" by Scout... eesh. His profile has this un-tantalizing headline: "Michigan, Wofford watch Wright."
A big game in one way (an excellent opponent) but not all that important in the long run (since everyone has it a guaranteed loss). Abram will play, so we've got that going for us.
So, I dumped a lot of time and effort into a series of Big Ten previews of prodigious length and questionable accuracy. This being the Internet, people can actually go back and read these things, marvel at my incompetence, and flit away, never to be heard from again. I thought I'd dissect them myself... if you have to hear that I'm an idiot, at least you're hearing it from me.
I said... absolutely nothing.
Overall Accuracy: Excellent. If there was one Big Ten team to ignore due to time constraints, Illinois was it.
I said... in summary:
...the forecast for Indiana football remains mostly cloudy with a 10 percent chance of bowl.
Hoeppner has proven he's a good coach, but if he turns Indiana into a winner he'll be doing the coaching equivalent of walking on water. The Hoosiers don't need a coach, they need a savior.
And I predicted... That the Hoosiers would end up 3-8 and 1-7 at best in the Big Ten. Indiana ended up 4-7, 1-7.
Eerie Accuracy: A defensive line returning three starters did not impress:
Three of four starters return, but it's doubtful a single offseason has worked wonders--all three returners were juniors last year, not pups fresh out of high school. They're not likely to instantly turn into stout run stoppers. The new face on the defensive line is a redshirt freshman converted offensive lineman. There is no depth whatsoever behind the starters. This unit will be a major hindrance to the team unless Hoeppner works a near-miraculous turnaround.
Redshirt freshman Mike Vlahogeorge has an outside shot of taking the reins if Powers falters.
Vlahogeorge quit football.
Overall: Good, but this was a prediction with a low degree of difficulty. Quick, I'm holding a gun to your head and will fire if you're incorrect: is Indiana going to suck in 2006?
I said... um, not so good.
On November 12th, 2004, the Badgers were 9-0, #4 in the polls and riding an intimidating defense to either the national championship game or the Rose Bowl. Badger fans would do well to wistfully remember that moment. ... Close your eyes and think of Koufax, cheeseheads, because this year is going to be ugly.
10-3 and a Citrus Bowl stomping of Auburn? Sign me up for some of that ugly.
Eerie Accuracy: I did rate the defensive backs a 2 and claim them a "huge question mark."
Disheartening Idiocy: Yeesh. I think "John Stocco sucks" was the conventional wisdom going into the year. It certainly was around these parts:
John Stocco was a mess last year and it would be surprising to see him make it through this year without getting in a serious quarterback controversy. ...I can't understand how he's the starting quarterback of a program with a pulse. ... Stocco has a long way to go. A really, really long way.
I gave him a big fat "1." Prepare for some mindblowing stats: Stocco threw seven more passes in 2005 than he did in 2004 but had 32 additional completions, 12 additional touchdowns, and 921 additional yards. Wisconsin went from 99th to 11th in the country in passing efficiency. Sweet Fancy Moses.
What happened? Paul Chryst returned from pass-nutty Oregon State to become offensive coordinator and lived up to the ridiculous preseason message board hype--a titanic accomplishment. To put it in terms Michigan fans can understand, if Steve Stripling had the impact Chryst did, Lamarr Woodley would have beaten six quarterbacks to death this year with only his right pinky toe.
And I predicted... Goddammit: 5-7 and 2-6 in the Big Ten. The best-case scenario I laid out? 7-5.
Overall: A Gang Of Six-esque projection. Totally useless. In my defense: how was I supposed to know John Stocco would turn into a quarterback and that Brian Calhoun would haunt my dreams?
Northwestern appears to be relying on Brett Basanez's shaky arm (53.8 completion percentage in '04) to win games next year. They are confused. Basanez is "heady" and "a gamer" but in his case those are just nice ways to say "incapable of throwing straight." ... Never fear, Wildcats, there's always basketball season... uh, the hockey team... um... alums bashing everybody in newspapers nationwide. Yeah. That's the ticket.
Stupid quarterbacks who "improve."
And I predicted... 5-6, 3-5 in the Big Ten. Nortwestern finished the regular season 7-4, then lost to UCLA in the Sun Bowl to finish 7-5.
Eerie Accuracy: Probably the best obscure prediction of the entire enterprise:
Despite his diminutive stature, or perhaps because of it, Sutton could be the 2005 version of Mike Hart. ... Expect to see him on the field sooner rather than later.
Sutton ran for 1474 yards, eighth in the country, and caught 44 passes for 396 yards.
And this was a layup, but I trashed the defensive backfield:
Expect many very short men to escort larger men in various uniforms to the endzone. ... Northwestern is looking at three new starters (with the returning starter switching positions), a set of corners who have difficulty seeing over steering wheels, very little depth, and a history of giving up a ton of pass yards. I would be very surprised to see this unit pick itself up off the canvas this year.
Disheartening Idiocy: You will begin to sense a trend very soon. Like Stocco, Wildcat quarterback Brett Basanez came in for a tongue lashing:
Brett Basanez has a ton of experience but an inaccurate arm. He's a hard-nosed guy who is decently suited for the run-oriented spread option Northwestern runs but doesn't have the athleticism to be a real threat in the run game or the arm to be a true dropback passer. ... He is a limited player who's essentially a version of Craig Krenzel surrounded by middling talent. Yes, he's "heady" and "a gamer" but he's not particularly good.
Also like Stocco, Basanez used his anger at getting trashed on some anonymous dude's blog and turned it into yards and points: 9 more touchdowns, about 800 additional yards, etc. Both the coaches and media selected him first-team All Big Ten.
Overall: Meh. I was two games off on the regular season prediction and severely underrated Basanez, but accurately forecast Sutton as a player and didn't think much of the defense.
Penn State's hope this year rests heavily on [the] defense, which returns 10 starters, the shotgun arm (powerful but inaccurate) of quarterback Michael Robinson, and the fleet feet of freshman uberrecruit Derrick Williams. If the defense can again lock down its opponents and Robinson, Williams, and the rest of the offense can eke out juuuuust enough offense, Penn State will return to a once familiar fairyland: a bowl. Any bowl.
I suppose the Orange Bowl counts as "any bowl," right?
And I predicted... 7-4, 4-4 in the league... certainly not 11-1, but also far better than the conventional wisdom.
trong>Eerie Accuracy: There was a theory running around that the Penn State defense wasn't actually all that good but it looked like it was because the PSU offense was so toothless that opposing coaches got a one-score lead and spent the rest of the game practicing their fullback dives, but I didn't buy it, ranking the DL, LBs, and DBs a 4, 5, and 5, respectively. I called Tamba Hali "Lamarr Woodley-lite" and meant it as a compliment and claimed that the secondary was most definitely "for real." A layup, perhaps, but I take what I can get.
Disheartening Idiocy: It's Michael Robinson's turn in the Hilariously Wrong Preseason QB Trashing Hotseat:
Rating: 1. Can I give this a zero? Joe Paterno, repeat after me: "Michael Robinson is a wide receiver. Michael Robinson is a wide receiver. Michael Robinson is a wide receiver."
Hell, I even made getting rid of him one of my season keys for PSU:
Bench Robinson. Or move him to wide receiver. Unless Jay Paterno works a miracle he's going to be the least accurate quarterback in the league by a country mile--coincidentally the same distance by which he'll miss his WRs.
Oy oy oy. Though Robinson did not deserve the second-team All Big Ten status he received, he was an average passer (mid-50s in efficiency) and capable runner (nearly 1000 yards), which is all the Penn State defense needed to choke bitches nationwide.
Overall: Despite being three games off probably one of the better results. You show me someone who thought Penn State would win the Big Ten and finish 11-1 and I'll show you a 38-year-old mail carrier from Pennsylvania who thinks Michigan pays the refs and is still voting for Eugene V. Debs. (Screen name: sxyPSUgrrl, natch.)
The remainder early next week.
Crappy table legend:
- * == redshirted
- bold == key players
|2005||Chad Henne||So.||Matt Gutierrez||Jr.*||Jason Forcier||Fr.|
|2006||Chad Henne||Jr.||Jason Forcier||Fr.*||David Cone||Fr|
Should improve, though how much I have no idea.
I guess it says something when your true sophomore quarterback completes 58% of his passes for 23 touchdowns and eight interceptions and is regarded as a big fat disappointment. For the 2005 edition of the Michigan Wolverines it says "Jesus we ran a lot of wide receiver screens," because Henne was indeed a big fat disappointment no matter how slightly above average his stats look. We've gone over this before, so suffice it to say that Henne's inconsistency caused more than a few people to curse their television (or eyes) out and definitely cost Michigan more than one game.
This will be Henne's make or break year. With two full years of starting under his belt, he's as experienced as John Navarre--who has a third of Henne's natural talent--was when he led Michigan to the Rose Bowl and was named All Big Ten. If he doesn't improve his accuracy significantly, Michigan's offense will end up spinning its wheels much like it did last year. The good news: towards the end of the year his accuracy and pocket presence both improved, especially against Ohio State.
|2005||Mike Hart||So.||Kevin Grady||Fr.||Jerome Jackson||Jr.*||Max Martin||So.|
|2006||Mike Hart||Jr.||Kevin Grady||So.||Jerome Jackson||Sr.*||Carlos Brown||Fr.|
Should improve moderately.
Predictions of a three-headed demon backfield did not materialize. Mike Hart limped through the season, alternating dominating, saliva-generating performances with pensive standing on the sideline. Kevin Grady's often ended up running into his own offensive linemen or the waiting arms of tacklers surprised at the young man's generosity. Max Martin, well... I called him a greasy-armed malcontent and I'm sticking with that. Though they were hamstrung by an offensive line best forgotten, the position group was an overall disappointment.
With a healthy Hart, a more experienced backup, and some OMG speed in freshman Carlos Brown, the running backs should come closer to the lofty expectations placed upon them before last year. That won't necessarily mean the running game becomes crushing--the mess on the offensive line will have to get resolved before that happens--but goddammit Hart's going to be on the field instead of on the sidelines (knock on wood). That's improvement.
|2005||Brian Thompson||Jr.*||Will Paul||So.*||Obi Oligibo||Jr.*|
|2006||Will Paul||Jr.*||Brian Thompson||Sr.*||Andre Criswell||Fr.*|
Should remain level.
I suppose returning both players who saw extensive time is good, but Paul can't catch and Thompson can't block. With a couple of capable tight ends and a veritable armada of wide receivers, Michigan should rely on the fullback less this year--though whether they actually will is a matter of some debate.
|2005||Tyler Ecker||Jr.*||Tim Massaquoi||Sr.*||Mike Massey||Fr.*|
|2006||Tyler Ecker||Sr.*||Mike Massey||So.*||Carson Butler||Fr.*|
Should decline slightly.
Massaquoi was never a great receiver, especially when he was running around with a club in one hand, but the fleeting glimpses of Mike Massey demonstrated that the freshman's blocking has an epic distance to cover before it can be considered adequate, let alone good. Assuming Tyler Ecker has plateaued, that indicates a slight decline.
Even so, the tight ends should be good. Ecker is athletic for a guy his size and has good hands. Even when Massaquoi's cast came off it was clear that Ecker had passed him for the starting job. Massey--who has received buzz as an excellent receiver--also contributed a few catches. Neither of these guys is going to pound your head into the ground, but as a pass-catching duo they'll probably be formidable and heavily relied upon, as the receivers do not appear to have a possession type in their midst.
Keep an eye out for hulking manbeast Carson Butler, who has Bill Brasky of College Football potential down the road. Butler--6'6", probably getting towards 240 or 250--played mostly basketball in high school before switching sports as a senior. He spent his senior year running fly routes as a hilariously oversized wide receiver. If he can actually play football he could find himself starting as soon as next year.
|2005||Jason Avant||Sr.||Steve Breaston||Jr.*||Antonio Bass||Fr.|
|Mario Manningham||Fr.||Carl Tabb||Jr.*||Doug Dutch||Fr.*|
|2006||Mario Manningham||So.||Antonio Bass||So.||Carl Tabb||Sr.*|
|Steve Breaston||Sr.*||Adrian Arrington||So.*||Doug Dutch||So.|
Should be approximately level.
Jason Avant will be missed, but the next five guys on the depth chart return. Antonio Bass and Mario Manningham got unprecedented levels of playing time for true freshman, Manningham in particular. One of them will have to make the leap from intruigingly fast youngster to "Oh God, Not That Guy." Indications are that this will likely happen: after all, Manningham had a better year than any freshman wide receiver since AC. He's on the fast track to stardom. Michigan's hopes for the WR corps rest on just how fast that track is.
There is an issue with size. Michigan has always had a selection of big, physical players. None of the projected top three wideouts next year matches that description, but sophomore Adrian Arrington and redshirt freshman Laterryal Savoy will audition for the role of deceptively tan white possession receiver.
|2005||Adam Stenavich||Sr.*||Leo Henige||Sr.*||Adam Kraus||So.*||Matt Lentz||Sr.*||Rueben Riley||Jr.*|
|Mike Kolodziej||Jr.*||Alex Mitchell||Fr.*||Mark Bihl||Jr.*||Jeremy Cuilla||Fr.*||Jake Long||So.*|
|2006||Mike Kolodizej||Jr.*||Rueben Riley||Sr.*||Adam Kraus||Jr.*||Alex Mitchell||So.*||Jake Long||Jr.*|
|Mark Ortmann||Fr.*||Justin Boren||Fr.||Mark Bihl||Sr.*||Jeremy Cuilla||So.*||Cory Zirbel||Fr.*
Should... improve I guess.
Normally losing three starters would be major cause for concern, but since two of the starters were obviously quite bad at the whole blocking people thing it's a mixed blessing. Add in the fact that both Jake Long and his backup missed most of the season and Michigan should have a bounceback year on the OL. Four of the projected starters have about a season's worth of experience, though Rueben Riley's has come at a mishmash of positions. Only projected RG Alex Mitchell is totally inexperienced.
Despite Mitchell's youth, the blinking question mark is new left tackle Mike Kolodziej. Lost in the wailing over the revolving doors at guard was how the departed Adam Stenavich quietly erased anyone who attempted to get past him. Kolodziej is regarded as an able pass blocker without the mean streak needed to do much in the run game, but has not been extensively tested. He's seen time here and there, usually against weak competition, and is now thrust onto the most important spot on the line.
Hail! Hail! to the champions of the Crab
Nebula... or something.
Looks good, doesn't it? Projected improvement from the returning offensive backfield, the cornucopia of top-100 wide receivers coming of age, an offensive line that has both experience and functional knees... Michigan's offense will explode across the stars in a glorious supernova of points, leaving a white-hot glowing Crab Nebula that future football teams will marvel at for millennia to come!
Wait, that was what I said last year. Or words to that effect. Consider me chastened and newly humble. There's a lot of good out there but three major ways it can fall apart:
- Evil Henne. This is obvious: he has to play better. He should have more opportunities to actually do something right with a (please, God) better offensive line and the threat of an actual running game, but even accounting for the myriad problems he had to deal with this year he was an average Big Ten quarterback at best, which doesn't cut it.
- Hey, offensive line, it's your mom! She says you still suck? Yoda says if the OL does not improve, the skill position talent matters not.
- Proving message board retards right. This is not a place where lamentations about Carr's utter unsuitability for anything other than janitor at a meat packing plant are offered up constantly, but Michigan has shown a tendency to fritter away offensive talent on a regular basis. This usually happens when Michigan has found itself in a "comfortable" lead (like, say, 3-0 in the first quarter) and decides to pack away the scoring offense for another day. Stay aggressive.
If none of these three things come to pass, the Michigan offense really will be nebula-causing. That's unlikely, though. Pumpkin Henne is probably not going to go back to Cinderella without a half-season of growing pains. The offensive line is not likely to be magnificent, and Lloyd Carr is too set in his ways to change completely.
Yes, it should be better, but better does not necessarily equal "good." Michigan finished 55th in total offense, and that likely understates how crappy they did. Tomato-can defenses occupied a wide swath of the schedule: only three opponents (Penn State, Ohio State, and Nebraska) had defenses ranked higher than 50th. Michigan could improve a great deal and end up average.