here's one vote for "John Beilein's head in a Futurama jar"
|Head Coach, Ball State|
|DL coach @ Michigan||1995-2002|
|DL coach @ Oregon State||1989-1994|
|LB Coach @ Toledo||1987-1988|
|DL Coach @ WMU||1984-1986|
|Four-year letterman and captain at Ball State as a defensive lineman.|
For those of you who are not Jason Whitlock and thus know nothing about the Ball State football program, like all red-blooded Americans should, Brady Hoke is its head coach. In five years on the job, Hoke is 22-36 and has one winning season, this year's 7-5 campaign that will end when Rutgers houses the Cardinals in the International Bowl. Hoke's main accomplishments to date are
- being the first coach to torch Johnny Sears and one of dozens to hang close with Michigan despite a massive talent deficit,
- nearly beating the worst Nebraska team ever, and
- being good friends with Lloyd Carr.
There isn't a power program in the country that could make Brady Hoke's candidacy for their head coaching job seem like anything other than a PR move designed to help a friend of the program... but remember the boats. The goddamn boats. Anything is possible.
Ball State's Stassen numbers for the decade preceding Hoke's arrival:
|68||San Diego State||0.45690|
Hoke's winning percentage? 38%. And he did not take over a program in disarray. Ball State had disastrous years in 1998 and 1999, going a combined 1-21, but recovered from the tailspin to go 16-18 the three years before Hoke arrived.
Hoke promptly put up records of 4-8, 2-9, 4-7, and 5-7 before his "breakthrough" 2007, when he finally got the program back to the level it was at when he arrived. Historically, Ball State has been one of the better programs in the MAC, their overall record above distorted by those two bombs; other than that the last time they won fewer than five games was 1987. The evidence suggests Hoke is outclassed in the MAC.
So let's make him Michigan's head coach!
Xs and Os Proficiency: Hoke has never been a coordinator on any level.
Recruiting: A N/A. It's Ball State.
Potential Catches: Potential "catches"? The whole damn thing is one big catch! Even in the realm of people who Michigan would approach after getting turned down by everyone -- EVERYONE -- there are vastly preferable candidates: Ron English. Mike Trgovic. Glen Mason. Jon Chait. Me. The Golden Retriever from "Air Bud: Golden Receiver." Mussolini, who is dead. Dick Vitale. Sigourney Weaver. Richard Nixon's penis. Sigourney Weaver's penis. All of these people and organs don't have a track record that suggests they are a below average MAC coach. It is in this way they are superior to Brady Hoke.
Relative Compensation: Hoke makes 170k per year, the third lowest in D-I. We'll probably offer him $120k.
Would He Take The Job? Yes.
Overall Attractiveness: Awful. Awful, awful, awful. The worst possible candidate. The mere idea this guy -- who's never even been a coordinator anywhere and has his MAC team performing at a level well below the program's historical baseline -- could get the job is infuriating. Only at Michigan could this happen, and if it does I guarantee you that Bo is going to haunt the mofo that signs the contract.
Better that Debord? No. Absolutely not better than Debord. The functional equivalent of Debord and a guy who would either keep Captain Failure or bring in Stan Parrish. If Hoke is hired there will be a riot, and with good reason.
Scott Wolf in the LA Daily News:
In the mix: Offensive coordinator Steve Sarkisian's name surfaced as a possible candidate for the Michigan job, but he is not currently considered an upper-tier candidate. California coach Jeff Tedford is believed to be a serious candidate, according to sources.
Yes, 6-6 and all that, but Pac-10 Indiana, people. Pac-10 Indiana.
The Woodsoning. Ten years ago Saturday, Charles Woodson became the first primarily defensive player to win the Heisman. Ten minutes of why:
I wonder if this was a prime galvanizing moment for the ridiculous SEC provincialism. Peyton didn't win! The media must be against us.
Redshirts. A couple people have emailed asking exactly who did and who did not redshirt this year; let me point you to "Nick the Greek Blog," which is probably not run by that Nick the Greek, for the answers. The only guys to get redshirted this year: LB Brandon Herron, RB Avery Horn, OL Mark Huyge, OL David Molk, DE Ryan Van Bergen, S Michael Williams, and TE Steve Watson... is that right? I swear I didn't see LB Marell Evans out there.
You guys [Iowa] have John Wienke visiting this weekend. Lives 20 miles from Champaign. Not recruited heavily by Zook because Wienke is a traditional drop back passer, but he is talented. Michigan commitment right now, but he is looking around.
FWIW. Losing Wienke would be irritating but not devastating with Threet around.
Relive the Horror! Unsurprisingly, Appalachian State is in the I-AA championship game. Their opponent, as a reader points out?
No, not Michigan. Delaware. This is entirely creepy, of course, and the game will no doubt end 34-32 when Delaware's senior captain DE/LB (ND transfer Ronald Talley?) messes up the most basic football strategery and gets a potential winning field goal blocked.
A second reader also points out: if App State and Ohio State win their respective national championship games, Michigan will have lost to two different national champions in the same year. Has that ever happened before? Someone call up the Duke SID and find out.
Desperate! I'll say! (H!IKM.) Felicity Huffman on the picket line:
Etc.: The Realests say "what about Jim Leavitt?" The MZone and Maize 'n' Brew take issue with this blog's anti-sailing stance, or at least the stridency of it; NYT -- not exactly a rock of journalistic integrity -- on Schiano w/ Harbaugh non-candidacy reiteration.
I've long since discarded the idea any information can be considered solid in the ever-shifting sands of a coaching search, especially one as schizophrenic as Michigan's, but... yeah: several previously reliable people have told me that Mary Sue Coleman has gotten directly involved with the search and there exists a solid offer out to one Les Miles.
I was debating whether or not to mention this -- the fear of things falling apart and Miles talking about his damn strong team while talking about misinformation on MGoBlog, etc. -- but when I guested on EDSBS live to talk about the coaching search, Orson was not only unsurprised that Miles was still a possibility but named the exact hypothetical salary hypothetically offered on hypothetical Friday, $2.5 million dollars. So it's not exactly top secret anymore. Yesterday morning Sam Webb and Michael Taylor were discussing it on WTKA, too. A secrets go, this one is pretty open.
The set of things that seem most likely to be true at this time:
- Miles has an offer for $2.5 million a year.
- He's got a few days to consider it.
- The main hangups appear to be assistant pay and the role of Carr in his program.
- Martin has been at least partially usurped.
Thing which seems completely implausible but given the sailboat thing cannot be ruled out -- nothing can be ruled out anymore:
- The anti-Miles faction in the AD is pushing Brady Hoke heavily.
Thing as of yet undetermined:
- If Miles will accept the offer.
So there you go.
Thanks to a helpful reader, I tracked down the Dan Patrick podcast with the Les Miles interview. First, a clarification: Miles did not say "I was loyal to Michigan, Michigan was not loyal to me." Dan Patrick said that later.
First, the relevant section of the Miles interview:
The Free Press transcript was from a portion of the interview replayed on the third hour of the show, in which he hammers at Miles for this Michigan provision in his contract. Miles seemed confused by the questioning, and with good reason: Patrick misunderstands the provision completely. He thinks it's an out like the one Urban Meyer supposedly had for M/ND/OSU; it is not. There is an extra punitive buyout in Miles' contract if he accepts the Michigan job. So his Tough Questions about it make no sense.
There is some buzz that Michigan, pressured by fans and former players, is finally talking to Miles seriously, but this interview doesn't seem to be a "please hire me, please" plea like it was reputed to be.
Angelique Chengelis throws out a surprising name:
Apparently Michigan has branched out and contacted at least one NFL coach about its vacant coaching job.
New Orleans Saints coach Sean Payton, 43, did hear from individuals connected to the Michigan search, according to a source close to Payton.
"They've expressed interest," the source said, referring to U-M. "There was interest in Sean using 'unofficial' intermediaries."
Initial reaction: there's no way. If Michigan can't put together a financial package impressive enough to pry someone out of Rutgers there's zero chance they pick off an NFL coach who still has a job.
HT: Quo Vadimus.
Update: Apparently Michigan didn't contact Payton or, more likely, the agent is lying. Likely moot in any case.
Update II: Payton denies any interest in M. It's dead, Jim.