mesmerism! presidential assassinations! circuses on fire!
We talk Caris LeVert, Real Sports segment, Harbaugh satellite camps, Jaylen Brown's top two, and Craig falsely accuses me of not wearing pants. I wear pants at all times, usually multiple pairs.
Here's the Orange Bowl video I talk about midway through BTW:
THE USUAL LINKS
Brian has already covered Jim Harbaugh's Troll God move from, uh, one perspective. Given this is now the biggest news on an otherwise quiet Friday in the college football world, I wanted to take a closer look, so here's a list of the various aspects of this that are just the best.
1. THIS IS BRILLIANT
Purely from a recruiting perspective, this is innovation at its finest. SEC coaches are publicly complaining about Michigan's cross-country tour of satellite camps, the one recruiting loophole the SEC can't exploit? Fine, make them all look petty:
There are two ways opposing coaches, SEC and otherwise, can react to this. They can sit out the camp, missing out on a recruiting opportunity and appearing afraid of competition in the process. Or they can attend, therefore contributing to Michigan's camp becoming a massive draw for recruits. This isn't a decision Nick Saban will enjoy making, and that goes doubly so for Urban Meyer and Mark Dantonio. Harbaugh essentially blackmailed the college coaching world into making his program's camp a premier event.
It's not just smoke and mirrors, either. If Michigan is able to get even a handful of well-regarded coaches to participate, it'll be hard to deny Michigan the "Exposure U" tagline they've attached to this project. Getting the program to have the reputation as the place to get noticed would be a huge boon for recruiting.
2. IT'S ALREADY WORKING
Bob Stitt is in! Somebody check on Brian!
@CoachJim4UM I'm in! Thx for the invite!
— Bob Stitt (@CoachBobStitt) April 24, 2015
In all seriousness, this move should attract plenty of innovative smaller-school coaches like Stitt, and it's always a positive to expose the coaches to new and different ways of doing things. Urban Meyer may not be down to discuss the finer points of running power out of the shotgun, but Stitt could give some advice about incorporating the fly sweep; recruiting doesn't have to be the only aspect of the program that benefits from this.
3. THIS COULD POTENTIALLY HAPPEN
I'll give $50 to MSU beat reporter who asks Dantonio after spring game if he'll go to UM's camp. Make it $100 if its first question of day.
— jamie mac (@justcoverblog) April 24, 2015
I'll happily ante up, as well.
4. ADD TO THE HARBAUGH LEGEND
Harbaugh is the rare college coach whose views and actions aren’t motivated by fear, particularly of what others are doing.
— Dan Wolken (@DanWolken) April 24, 2015
Harbaugh made a power move (the satellite camp tour), SEC coaches pushed back, and instead of making any sort of concession, Harbaugh made an even bigger power move. As evidenced by Wolken's tweet, this is going to play well in the media, and you can bet recruits will take notice, as well. In the court of public perception, this is a decisive win. Harbaugh turned a nothing Friday into a day to grab headlines.
There will be no stake-related apologies.
5. MOTION TO MAKE THIS THE SITE TAGLINE
I'll be ending all my conversations, formal and informal, in this manner from now on.
— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) April 24, 2015
Find a bridge, and look under it. There you will find something you did not expect: a crude charcoal figure in the shape of the man. On certain nights when the moon lances through the overpass just right and strikes the figure at just the right angle, the markings take on a three dimensional aspect.
As you're squinting, wondering why it looks familiar and kind of pisses you off, Harbaugh, Master Of The Toll, will step forth from the rock to answer one question you have. I have been across this nation's highways and byways, searching out the dwindling numbers of his worshippers. Pushed out by EZ-Pass and foreign purchases of American roads, the United States troll is literally at a crossroads.
They ask him about inflicting pain on the country that spurned them.
He told them "form a country duo that sings about comin' to your citayyyy."
He told them "tell 'em it's about ethics in gaming journalism."
He told them to make a website on which anyone can talk to anyone with a 140 character maximum.
He told them to run athletic departments like conglomerations of mining interests.
He told them to name something "The KFC Yum! Center."
Yes, with the exclamation point smack in the middle of it. He is diabolical.
I sought him. I invoked daemons of minor annoyance. They told me that sitting outside in some nice weather and watching something approximating a football game was the sign of a diseased mind, but they also told me where to find him. The bridge was old and rickety, all but abandoned. Long ago a chunk of wood had been clattered free, so the light at this bridge was direct and fulsome. After a time, Harbaugh stepped forth from the charcoal.
I said I had a job for him.
I said he would find glory, and he was uninterested.
I said it paid very very well, and he bridled.
I said he could follow in the footsteps of the all-troll who birthed him from a cauldron of spite, and he took one half-step towards me. I knew not whether I had made progress or a terrible mistake.
I said that all the football coaches in all the land would gnash their teeth and shake their NCAA-mandated chains and wail and wail and wail, that entire fanbases of people would rise up in one agglomerated mass of incensed powerlessness, that even the greatest and mightiest of football would feel their bile rise uncontrollably at his visage.
He said "I accept."
And then he was gone. Shaken, I began the long journey home under the moon.
Ten nanoseconds after Saban and Swinney cried that high schoolers might get exposed to football programs that actually care what happens to their kids after it, Emmert moved to quickly fix the loophole that allows a football coach from Michigan to ply his trade across state lines.
Harbaugh is already one step ahead:
— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) April 24, 2015
World: Wait, you can't create a national college football trade fair at your school.
Harbaugh: Just did.
Jim Harbaugh is legend.
FOR WANT OF GLENDENING
Luke Glendening blocked a shot into the neutral zone to seal his own spin-o-rama shorthanded goal as a game-winner to steal Game 1. Red_Lee was so inspired that he created this:
Last night Glendening's Red Wings were cruising to a 2-0 victory (that should have been 4-0 given the play) and a 3-1 series lead when Luke ill-advisedly decided to check a guy near enough to the boards to trip the sensitivities of hockey players towards that sort of thing. While everyone else scrummed about them some Lightning players were able to mess up Luke's hand (Aside: amputating a guy's hand when you're trying to recruit him is some seriously Urban Meyer sh--, Darth).
Without Glendening shadowing one of the top-scoring lines in the country, that line put up two quick goals and a third in overtime. Detroit didn't backcheck properly, and just looked, I don't know, unfocused. The parallels to Star Wars are there, but the parallels to Michigan since Luke graduated are eerie.
IF YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF MERCYHURST YOU'RE NOT A FAN (OR YOU'RE NORMAL)
Via Spath, Michigan's been having a hard time getting sexy programs to come to Yost unless they're small schools with Utah football-quality hockey programs. Of these, next year's schedule will host Mercyhurst, Robert Morris and Niagara. I bet you two petty Notre Dame administrators that the Domers were one of the "of note"s here:
Michigan wants to schedule top-tier programs but they couldn't get anyone to come to Ann Arbor this year. Everyone of note wanted U-M to come to their venue. And Michigan couldn't do that or it would have ended up with two non-conference home games. They agreed to Union and BU so that they could get those two teams in 2016-17 at home but then they HAD to have home games, and so some of these teams were more willing.
The sooner somebody puts this intra-state round robin thing together the better.
WORDS HAVE MEANINGS
It's offseason alright, evidenced by the feely threads (and one diary) popping up to define words that already mean specific things. To wit:
- A fan is someone who roots for that team. To date there is only one remotely worthwhile adjective that's ever been applied to "fan" to distinguish levels of fanhood: "Loud."
- An alumnus is someone who attended that school; graduation is not required.
- A graduate is someone who graduated from that school.
Last word for today: if you are a graduate or alum who thinks this distinction makes you more of fan, you are an "asshole."
WIFI NAMES ARE 21ST CENTURY NEIGHBORLINESS
Good ideas for Michigan-themed WiFi names? thread is how I learned about the Linden Street Flamingo Heist of 2011:
Shout out to the guy with "HARBAUGH" in a Columbus complex.
Etc. The Royals are the new Sparties of Major League Baseball.
Your Moment of Zen:
none of the lights none of the lights [Bryan Fuller]
Buried in a release about Michigan playing Minnesota at night is this:
With primetime selections through the networks and Big Ten Conference office now complete, Michigan will not host a night game this season at Michigan Stadium. Kickoff times for the remainder of the 2015 season will be announced in coordination with those partners.
Michigan's choices there were OSU (in November), Michigan State, or a middling opponent like Oregon State, BYU, or Northwestern. None of those are particularly appealing, though I thought a BYU at night might have been fun.
TMD: A Mother Knows
2016 #1 overall recruit Rashan Gary is expected to be on campus in May, accompanied by his mother, who's playing a very important role in the vetting process. Gary discussed her role in his recruitment with TomVH ($):
“My family being able to see me play is really important. My mom is my everything. Whatever she says and thinks is positive; that’s what I’m going to consider. My mom sees what I see and says all the schools I’m considering are good schools. It’s probably going to come down to me and her putting together a pros-and-cons list and figuring it out.”
Gary visited Michigan and Ohio State recently without his mother, who took a trip to Rutgers instead. (That trip reportedly didn't go very well for Rutgers.) Gary reported back to his mom, of course, and given what she told Sam Webb it sounds like Michigan is in a great position to stake themselves to a lead when she gets to campus with her son ($):
“He liked Ohio State,” said Mrs. Coney. “He didn’t say too much of the school. I think they didn’t spend a lot of time at Ohio State. I think most of their weekend was at Michigan. I know he met with Coach Johnson because he called me and I talked to Coach Johnson. I’ll tell you the difference (between the Michigan and Oho State visits). When he talked to me about Ohio State it was football, football, football. But when he talked to me about Michigan he just told me about the environment, told me about the academics, told me about the dorms, told me about the campus. I spoke with Coach Mattison it was totally a different conversation. One was about athletics, and then Michigan was all about academics and the people, (and) the environment.”
‘Okay Rashan, let me go see it for myself. (laughter).’
Michigan's M-Pact presentation should go over quite well.
Meanwhile, Michigan jumped out to the lead for another Paramus Catholic prospect, three-star WR Donald Stewart, who was offered last week, per 247's Steve Wiltfong ($):
“I talk to Coach Partridge daily,” Stewart said. “He told me that the players he coached that played there have nothing but positive things to say. I talk to Jabrill (Peppers) and Juwann (Bushell-Beatty) and they really like the school so I want to go up there and see for myself.”
The 6-foot-4, 180-pound Stewart plans to see Michigan the third week of May.
According to Wiltfong, Northwestern is currently Michigan's biggest competition for Stewart.
[Hit THE JUMP for the rest of the roundup.]